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monicott17

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  1. Not watching the game today and I don’t care if they win or lose. I’m just too anxious and depressed to strike up any sort of emotion or immerse myself in something that I consider to be trivial and that will not make me feel better or improve my life in any way. I will admit though that there is maybe at least a little part of me that wishes I did care and could relate to others since they are such a big part of the community as a whole. And it is yet another thing that I am on the outside looking in on…and that does start to get old after awhile.
  2. I honestly believe that my mental health would improve greatly if I lived somewhere else. I’ve got all kinds of issues so I know I wouldn’t be “cured” but the weather has long been an obsession and huge anxiety trigger of mine. There are very few places with perfect weather year round and I doubt I’d be able to go to one of them but even a place that still has winter but is less harsh would be better for me. Today is especially tough as it is yet another day with no sun at all…dark, gray, windy and very cold. And it snowed again so now it is not only gloomy, it is all snow covered and slick. And people I know are on vacation right now in a sunny warm place and the other day I had to hear about their plans to go the pool, beach and the fact it will be 75 and sunny while they are there. Meanwhile, I continue to look at snow still piled up so high from the recent storms that it might still be there in some form well into the spring.
  3. Hi, I think I kind of have already kind of done that. When I discovered what was going on, I messaged her and asked if we could discuss it. We did but I am still not comfortable with the situation. Have a conference call with her coming soon and I intend to question and speak up about things further. I have also begun a preliminary search for a different job.
  4. We haven’t had a sunny day in what feels like weeks now. Most of the snow is melted but there is still some remaining, a constant reminder of that horrible storm. These gray and gloomy days are getting old and making me feel really sad.
  5. Thanks. I will be discussing it with my therapist for sure. He has been a great help with some of my past work issues. And if I throw out the idea of quitting…he won’t judge and mock me like some of my family members have. And the more I think about it…the more upset I get. The whole situation is being handled poorly and if my boss would have just reached out and asked for my input…it could have been avoided.
  6. I haven’t been doing well at all since the storm a few weeks back (not like I was okay before it or anything) but since then I have been basically on edge and extremely tense 24-7. Trouble sleeping, all kinds of weird physical symptoms including the return of bad migraines and unable to relax or be productive in any way. And now with this work nonsense popping up, I am afraid that the meltdown/breakdown I have been on the verge of is closer than ever to happening. It may turn out to my detriment (honestly don’t care if it does at this point) but I can’t let this go and I am going to have to speak up further in regards to this work situation.
  7. Find a new job. Learn how to cook…at least just the basic stuff. Get a hobby!!
  8. I’ve posted about my work struggles here before but these last few days, it has really come to a head. I am not having any of it nor I am taking it sitting down. I have already spoken up about this and I plan on fighting this every step of the way. It is not my fault that my boss is clueless to the day-to-day operations and that this company is so poorly run and mismanaged. I honestly do not know if I have the strength….physically or mentally…to look for a new job and go through the process of applying/interviewing but I have at least begun to look…not much out there righht now but I will continue to look and maybe even apply for something one of these days.
  9. I have avoided the requests from my boss to do training of a new employee on several occasions. Not sure how much longer I can though been using the “I don’t drive”/ “ can’t find a ride” card…which are both true though. I don’t mind actually going in…it is the training part that I can’t deal with. I don’t have any patience…even on a “good” day.
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