Svenetc

That sounds very very toxic. I feel bad for you because I know how toxic people can mess you up. They have the ability to destroy any possible self esteem and enjoy watch you suffering even though they can't even see inside of you. I hope you find great supportive people to lean on and to build yourself up.

I feel for you ! It is very difficult to exist in an relationship with anyone who is mentally and emotionally abusing you. I have been through it and basically I am still in it. It is the feeling of being totally helpless what makes it really bad and leads into depression. What a narcissist can do on damage to other people is insane. I wish and hope for the best for you and you can get out of that situation quickly. Chin up ! " You " is who matters

Probably ... it is my youngest favorite ... he turns 16 tomorrow and he wanted Tacos ... so smile and " happy " guaranteed

I feel sorry for you that you have to live them dreams. I have such dreaming sometimes to the point that I wake up from it and where it takes me all day to think get over that dream. It is the fact that a dream can mess my thinking up so badly that I take sleep aid to go to sleep fast and deep. When I do that I usually do not remember dreams. Hope it will get better for you rather quick.

That is exactly the point where I stall ..... Maybe you, I and all the others dealing with that will overcome that somehow because it is no fun ... I wish anyways

wtg .... enjoy ! Break free from heat and the worries It will do good for you

I see Duck , yet I think I " weeded out " the toxic people through out the last 1 1/2 years. I still go up and down .... all day long. Cant't help or control it .... all it takes is the wrong thought at the wrong time and my day is shot. And I figured out, that I am the problem - yet can't solve it. I refrain to open up to others unless I trust them. And my trust has been violated badly. So it is a B**** to get a view behind my facade or inside my heart . Here I feel "safe" and I feel that I can talk when I want to and how about I feel without explaining anything. It helps a lot. Maybe someday I can transfer that into my daily offline life. Just gotta find the right people and remove my "blindfolds" and "safety cushions " ... Than I will be ok I guess.

This what I see in my life as well. I blame myself for it and to a certain extend it was me causing it. How to get out of that I do not know. I feel like a pendulum doing it's Tik Tok between happy and unhappy , confidence and insecurity , hope and discouragement .... I just wait until it will stop. I for sure will not wind it back up to keep ticking and tocking.

I feel bad for your situation. Uncertainty is a very bad thing to deal with. Especially if you have no explanation for the turnout so far. I hope it will iron out and you will either get an answer or a solution . Don't let it pull you down further. Maybe the person who suggested to move in a group home can help somewhat. Just a thought.

I am full of it Statistic .... lol ... trust me or ask people I am surrounded by ..... I think I have more valuable "crap" now then when I was 30 or so ... that is a positive

You are getting there Nightjar ! You have any reason to be proud of you. A nemesis is there to be defeated , and Yes ! Maybe you win more rounds against the universe ... even it is just the chocolate in tour handbag Keep going !

That is amazing ... I have been on here only for a short period of time so far and as well on wire for about the same time .... but that city must be popular ... I talk to maybe 7 or 8 peeps , or more from there daily about the same topics like depression etc. Small world !

That is well said ! I look at this the same way. Everything I achieve is a win. It can be as small as mowing my yard or getting groceries. Or it can be bigger like negotiating with a bank or talking to my lawyer. The thing that makes it special is the fact that " I did it " ...makes me feel better. I don't think anybody around me at work or in the store or wherever actually knows what I feel and what goes thru my mind all day long. I put up a great facade nobody can read. But to achieve something is a great feeling Have a Happy 4th of July - if who reads his is in the US .... if not have a Happy 4th of July as well.

All I can say on that is - it is a great idea. I was way down last year from Feb-Apr and it took a work-buddy that stopped here unannounced before his work almost every day encouraging me to get 'moving" . He was in the same situation before and knew exactly to the point of how I felt. I stayed at home and burned my time off for basically nothing. I sat here and literally talked to myself and fought my own "inside" to finally get back going. Not because I had to - but I wanted to . I went through ups and downs all year since than and I still do. But I refrain from falling back in that hole. You probably need to talk to someone regularly to get self motivated again. You have my best wishes and encouragement.

As sad as all that is - and I feel for your loss ! - ... you had a great time with you mini . I went through the same misery about 15 years ago. We had a Main Coon since she was a baby and she became my oldest sons "personal attachment" ... we all loved her and she was a Joy for everyone. However she became sick after maybe 4 years and we did not know why. All she did was laying in the litterbox and "vegetated" . She lost weight. We had 3 cats then , 2 female and 1 male . Turned out the male ate all the food and Rain was not getting enough food. So we had her at the Vet and she was malnourished and dehydrated . Even though we had all day access to food and water. She did not take enough. We had to inject a solution under her skin twice a day with a syringe for weeks. ( heartbreaking task ! ) and it did not help. Evtl. we had to put her down and give her peace. That was overwhelming for all 4 of us. But we did it for Rain. She was miserable and we had to help her. But the Fun time we had with her ...we will never forget. I hope you will find a new " Lion " and all the happiness that comes with it soon.