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  1. here i am.. reaching out for the first time on a public forum about my anxiety, depression, and losing my passion for life. today.. yes today, is being documented in my journal as day one of the worst off i've ever been in my entire life. i'm homeless for the first time, that's super exciting! and oh my goodness, the cold, the bitter sweet cold.. i have too much pride and respect to bother my family members with my life.. they have their own issues, their own problems.. they don't need to worry about me staying in their house.. so, i'm living in my car for the time being. i suppose i could look into homeless shelters around here, but i believe there is only one, and the last i've heard it has a waiting list. yesterday was spent in anxiety, dreading tomorrow, not coming up with solutions or answers.. just an uneasy feeling throughout my chest, neck, and face, with my emotions ranged on a scale from 1 to 10, i was at a negative -9. i became hopeless.. i tried explaining it to my partner, but she was going through her own issues. there was no understanding between us, communication was misunderstood, so we parted ways. now here i am.. i abandoned my friends for my partner, who is no longer in my life.. i deserted my parents, the true two people who have always had my best interest throughout all this.. i have nobody.. it's a magnificent feeling.. a new level of lonesome and independent brought together.. i feel like i'm going to puke. i need to go. bye.
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