JJ1

Hi everyone I just wanted to thank you guys for the kind words they really did help me. At that time I was doing very badly and I hadn't talked to anyone about how I was feeling completely. Then there was a night it got really bad and I called the hotline. There was this really nice lady who talked to me for hours and made me feel like I was heard and she gave me some ideas on how to improve what I was going through. School got really hard in my most recent semester but finally I talked to one of my parents about it and I kinda set most things on the table for him. It was really hard for me to talk about and there are still some things that we need to talke about, but now we are planning to go to therapy so we can work out our problems in a more healthy way and now I feel like we have a lot more open and honest conversations. Ever since, my dad has been helping me with school work and I passed my classes and I'm now onto my second semester. I feel a lot better and I'm getting my work done early so I don't get stressed about it. I still haven't told my other parent and its hard to talk about but I might soon idk lol. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone and their kind words it means a lot to me and although its not perfect I'm doing a lot better and I feel much better.

Hi everyone Idk whose even going to see this but I've never shared everything going on in my head and I feel like I might break soon. Well to get started I've been sucidal on and off for years since I was younger and it got worse this year. I used to cry myself to sleep a lot but then it stopped and now I really only cry when I'm having panic attacks. I'm bisexual and im closeted with my dads family since they are very homophobic and my dad is transphobic.(Im not trans but I have multiple trans friends who he invalidated) I have been stressed with school and have made up lies about turning in projects because I had no motivation to do them and whenever I tried to work on them I got anxious and stressed. I rarely get to see my friends anymore and its really hard because im a really social person. My dad only knows a little about how I feel and so now he thinks its only about school so he gets really annoyed when I turn stuff in late and its hard to find any more excuses. I have a lot of missing assignments right now but its so hard to find any motivation to do them. I really want to work on them but i keep procrastinating. I'm always making sure everyone else is happy and it feels like sometimes I'm the adult between my parents. School is really hard keeping communication with my friends is hard everything is so hard and im ready to just be done with it all. Idk if I'm making sense and this isn't all of it but I wanted to shorten it. Well I hope everyone else is doing alright.