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usagi

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About usagi

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  1. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and taking the time to respond. It is really reassuring to know I'm not the only one. It's such a horrible feeling. Your brain is telling you you don't love them even though they are your everything and you would never want to lose them. I like to think that we wouldn't be so bothered about this if we didn't love them. But then there's always that negative counter-thought that makes you doubt everything again :( I really hope you start feeling better, I know the pain you're experiencing and you are not alone either. Feel free to vent here if you ever need to, I know how agonizing it is and having these thoughts circling around your head with no outlet which makes it even worse.
  2. Hi everyone! I'm new here. Reading your posts has been very insightful. Everyone seems so kind. I hope you are all well. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost two years now, and I have never been happier and more in love. He's the best thing to ever happen to me and I feel that we are truly made for each other. We have plans to move in together, get married and so many beautiful things that I couldn't imagine with anyone else. However, about three weeks ago I suddenly lost all my emotions for him. It was like a switch went off. I have already lost feelings for friends and things I care about quite a while before this happened, but I had never lost that nice warm feeling in my chest when I thought of him even throughout all that. That warmth is what made all that bearable. I thought that at least if I had him nothing else mattered. But now I find myself agonising and questioning myself over whether I still love him. It becomes obsessive and brings me down so much. At first I had just thought I was PMSing, as these feelings came a week or so before my period. I even felt better for a few days near the end of my period. Then that horrible void returned. I know that I still love him but I just can't feel that warmth or "love" anymore and it is so hard to bear. I do have days and moments (mostly when I'm spending time with him or family) when things aren't as bad and I almost feel normal again. But when I'm alone the thoughts consume me. I know I don't want to lose him. There is no rational reason why I would want to, or no benefit that would come from leaving him, but my brain tells me that I'm just in denial or looking for reasons to stay with him even if I don't love him. It tells me "there's no way you have a mental illness, you just don't love him anymore." I have never been diagnosed with a mental illness, but googling "suddenly losing feelings for bf" led me here. I have struggled with finding motivation for things and wanting to socialise for years now. I am very introverted and don't really have any friends in real life. I still enjoy my time with him and it feels good to be with him (at least to the capacity to which I can feel) and talking to him or family or playing games are the only things that can give me a break from these thoughts. I've been talking to (online) friends more to try and break out of my shell and I am considering buying natural mood boosting supplements to hopefully help a bit. I am terrified that I've lost my love for him. I feel deep down that I love him so much but I just can't experience any, or very little, joy. I really don't want to lose him. I'm jittering writing this. Thank you so much for reading this and any comments and opinions would be very greatly appreciated :")
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