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EL23

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  1. I am a golfer and have been most of my life. I am have been successful, am competitive and have made it my life's work. I feel incredibly lucky to have done this especially as a woman in a man's field. I have recently taught my son and he has taken a great interest in the game. We bond this way and it is a great way for mom/son time. Sometimes we have meaningful and fun conversations. One day, this year after many, many frustrations built up, I snapped. I was not playing well (unfortunately I wrap my self worth up in that a lot) and slammed my club against my bag. I was ashamed I did that in front of my 17 yo son. He is very laid back and we made a joke of it after I apologized for my immature behavior. I went to practice the next week, and noticed the graphite shaft in my 6 iron was shattered. Nice. Salt on the wound. My son eventually found out, and brings it up frequently. Like my mostly cool and patient mom totally lost it. I just recently started saying a phrase that my son has adopted on the course. One time, without rehearsing it, a thought popped in my head. "You're not playing golf if you're not mad, sad or scared" It's a funny quote because most golfers I know get upset (but they don't go ballistic), are sad that practice or lessons aren't paying off, or they are scared to take a risk. So how am I? Mad, Sad and Scared. I have been living this way for a while and I would like to change. Gradual steps I suppose. But Bipolar Depression makes me feel all these things frequently and it seems to me, it's not healthy. I welcome stories and insight. Peace and Love
  2. I have been on 150 wellbutrin for about 18 months. It wasn't initially doing the trick, but when I went up to 300 I had mild but concerning hand tremors like I was WD from drugs or alcohol. I stayed with 150 and it has served me well.
  3. Thank you all. It's been a challenging year with my Bipolar 2 diagnosis (I was diagnosed 15 years ago so you think I'd be used to it...). Depression and anxiety at an all time high, 2 different medical issues, a scheduled surgery and a son, who is a Sr. in HS, who has no urgency or plan. Just many things hitting at once. I wish you all well and coping. I am happy to be here :)
  4. Hello All, I am a newbie here, but not to bipolar depression. It took many years to diagnose, and I have taken many different meds during this journey. I am compliant with meds bc I know what's to come if I neglect them. I am stable most of the time, in fact, few people know I struggle with this. I have a trusted therapist who helps me through the valleys. Today, I am struggling. Sad, no energy, not sleeping great and drinking too much. Just need a few people to listen and to help others where I can. Hoping for an emotional break. Be well.
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