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CaityJuju

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About CaityJuju

  • Rank
    Newbie
  • Birthday February 24

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Canada
  • Interests
    Art, gaming, music, movies, animals, outdoors, God.
  1. I've suffered from depression/anxiety for a very long time. The last couple months I started declining in my mental health. I do everything in my power to be alone when it happens, and prefer it over being with anyone - which today is what lead me to cut off contact with my boyfriend. There's other personal reasons why it made me walk away, but most of it was due to a nagging bad feeling in my gut/stomach that has been hovering with me since January. It only ever seemed to be a major issue when I thought of my relationship or when my boyfriend was around. Some days I would get irritated quickly, even angry, and find myself in disgust at some things he did that bothered me a great deal (hygiene was a big one for me). Today has been the worst day in a long time, it just feels like the relationship was over for me and I didn't find myself attracted or wanting anything more out of it. Almost like something was pushing me towards this point, maybe I needed it? I feel cruel for even feeling this way, but my major problem is I STILL feel this nagging bad feeling in my gut. It feels similar to anxiety/panic but it doesn't set me off like a trigger, instead it lingers for a while and constantly comes and goes. I can't get rid of this feeling and I think I have something seriously wrong with my mentally. It's to the point where I can't stand the thought of any relationship, or people for that matter, and I'd do anything in my power to be alone. Relationships bore me, as does life itself. It's quite dull and I have no path I'm following, I have no idea what to do with myself or what's going on mentally. Considering seeing a doctor, but that would take a stupid amount of time to hit the correct diagnosis. I also get extreme depression some days where I just cry and feel hopeless about everything. I push everyone away because I just don't have the capacity to accept people into my life anymore, and I'm 27 years old. Anyone have any idea what could be causing this re-occuring feeling to haunt me? I'd like opinions. Thank you.
  2. Hello, My name is Caity, I'm 27 years old and I've been suffering with depression/anxiety since 2012. Most of my issues stem from parental neglect as a child, and emotional pain. It has prevented me from getting any source of employment, as I'm too terrified to work anywhere with other people, and I failed college in 2015. I don't know what else to do with myself or my life, seems no amount of words will help me anymore and I've tried resorting to faith but even that is leaving me abandoned. Everyone around me knows how bad my depression is, yet none of them have even attempted to see through the help I have asked for in the past. A lot of my problems stem from my evil mother who is extremely toxic and I get angry any time she's around me. She's selfish and if I have to live with her any longer I'll probably go insane, or attack her for the mental and emotional abuse. I have no idea if I'll ever get the help I need, and my life is just passing me by. I use to have ambitions for a family and other stuff, but I no longer want anything. My motivation is dead, and I don't enjoy life anymore. I stopped enjoying it years ago when I knew I couldn't get any further. I don't know what else to do, I feel like my time is almost up, so who knows if I'll ever recover. Anyway nice to meet you all.
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