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About Steewallgee

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  1. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless with no light at the end of the tunnel, during the start of my recent journey out of this depressive pit i have come to realise that the mentality above isn't formed around logic, it is the mental issues forming that thought, not the rational brain. I've learnt sharing helps, I don't know your circumstances but if you would like to elaborate i'm sure we can offer some form of comfort or advice? take care.
  2. They are directing negativity at you to try deflect it from there own life. Ignore them and keep your head up!
  3. I guess i must make this clear, i am not dependant on alcohol beyond emotional dependencies, i have no craving for it. I am a week one day sober and plan this for the foreseeable future. I am doing well with these tablets and the above improvements. I feel the craving for carbs may actually be a result of the tablets but who knows. Drinking lots of coffee and it seems to replace the cravings. I hope everyone is well.
  4. Mulberry jam is a favourite of mine. I am sorry to hear you are being bullied online? May i ask what's happened? Nothing will elevate the mood like a succesful pass at a crush! Good luck and let us know how it goes.
  5. Not sure if its ok to update this like a blog or not or if anyone is reading but just to say this will be my first week sober and i am functioning great on mirtazapine though noticing a craving for carbs that i wouldn't usually get. I am so thankful for this forum and the ability to vent without being judged and would urge any lurkers to post! I'll update my experiences on mirtazapine weekly or as necessary if it will help people worried about starting to take them.
  6. Wow, thats quite interesting that you are a minister with depression, i would have thought that was an oxymoronic sentence but i guess that's me being small minded. iWhy are you depressed? Suffering from doubts or regrets? Genuienly curious as alot of posts I see on here and situation i have seen within the ecumenical circles have been almost cured by religion. I really hope it gets or has gotten better for you.
  7. I can relate to that sober4life, Its like we sacrifice the next days attempt of happiness for a hit of it whilst drinking. I had a bit of a relapse yesterday and ended up drinking alot but all thats left to do is try again. Woke up really suicidal this morning, for the first time in weeks. More motivation to stop drinking. Thankyou for your replies and experiences, yeah my experience so far is they are like sleeping pills, hopefully i start to feel some benefit soon.
  8. The lockdown made me drink more alcohol believe it or not, that in turn has led to more depression (in the long run). I didn't leave the house for 2 months. Other than to drink alcohol when the pubs where back open, i had no intention of it. I decided to start caring for my grandma who is suffering from a rapid dementia, i've begun to realise how important it is that not only do we distract ourselves, but also to do that by contributing positively and helping someone! Cant beat the feeling.
  9. Hi, this post is 12 years overdue... i want to share with you my story for possible advice/help and for you to share your experiences with mirtazapine or any other medication as this is a new world to me. I have suffered with moderate to severe depression since i was 13-ish, I am 25 now. The only happiness I have really had is the temporary joy one gets from say a movie or video game and the weekly routine of binge drinking, other than that its been perfected acting and silent suffering, For years i thought this was normal, when i realised it wasn't I became dependant on the alcohol to elevate these feelings. I have been reading alot into Buddhism and its teachings, not here to rant about that but it has caused me to take a look at myself and potential future and how my actions negatively effect not only myself but the people around me. I was a poisonous person filled with, what i felt at the time, warranted anger at society. Anger does not change a thing, warranted or not and i see that this anger was simply a distraction, a way for me to not blame myself for my own inadequacies.. I had quite a legal scare that can only be described as a wakeup call to really sort out my head and my actions so that i can finally live some sort of life and improve the life of the family around me and try give back positively to the world. I am worried that distancing myself from the close friends i have made may make me sink lower than i have become, can anyone relate? I contacted the doctor and have started a 15mg daily ( well night time ) dose of mirtazapine, this along with my new found love for meditation, sobriety, exercise and actively seeking for work i am ready to face the world and start a new life unlocking my full potential. What are your experiences with mirtazapine? What were your side effects like? The weight gain is a worry for me and i can't seem to find a clear explanation whether this is due to craving more food or the lowering of the metabolism.
  10. Not sure how to delete this, posted in introductions instead. Sorry admins
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