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Everything posted by celine___1

  1. Three days ago on social media, a boy sent me a friend request. Usually, I rarely accept strangers because I'm tired of online perverts. But this time, after checking his profile, I figured he was different and decent since he didn't seem to be a womanizer (didn't have many likes on pictures) + he had some pictures with quotes saying that ''Real love is not about money and luxurious cars but small gestures, care, and attention...'' That especially made me think he was a decent guy and not a womanizer messing up with lots of women and only caring about sex... I accepted his friend request and he immediately texted me. Our chat was normal, he even mentioned to me that he was looking for a decent woman. When I asked him what he meant, he replied that it was complicated - generally, he is looking for a real Woman. He complimented me on "looking cute" and asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said that I was single. Everything was fine and we even laughed at some jokes until he asked me to send him a picture ''from now''. This immediately gave me an unpleasant feeling since my profile doesn't look fake, nor do I use many filters in my photos. What is more, even a few days ago I uploaded a new profile picture! This made me wonder why he needed such a picture, considering the fact that after all, he didn't request ''a naked photo'' but just a picture from now. I asked him why he wanted it, asking him if he thought that I was a fake profile - he replied, "No, but I wanna enjoy you lovingly." Respectively, I told him that I don't send photos and I'm not such a person. At first, he understood and I was relieved that he wouldn't bother me with such requests again. After, he even said that he had a challenge for me - to go out on a date where he would start a conversation with me in several different ways. I told him that this was an interesting and unusual proposal, and we can do it someday. He agreed, saying ''Yes, we will have some fun.'' I was glad that things were moving in a positive direction, but not long after, he again asked me for ''only 1 photo.'' I already started feeling uncomfortable finding an excuse to refuse his stubborn request, as if this strange idea was mine and not his ... I jokingly refused and changed the subject. Deep inside, I was afraid that after my second refusal, he would give up and stop texting me. But I have principles and class not to do such things especially with a person who has just texted me. Plus, I thought that after he said that he was looking for a real Woman, he would appreciate me, seeing that I'm not cheap and don't send my photos like that. When he texted me again the next day, I was happy because I saw that that didn't repel him. I figured that he would finally respect my decision and stop with this photo, thanks to which we could have a more interesting conversation to get to know each other. We had a nice talk and suddenly, jokingly, he asked me for a picture AGAIN. He said that ''Every wall falls with a little perseverance.'' As a joke, I refused again. Then, we exchanged a few sentences and after that, he never texted me again ... The result - now, I hate myself internally .. I hate that I once decided to trust and give a chance to a stranger online and he turned out to be another idiot. I figured that he was a good and decent guy when I saw the quotes about true love that he had shared, as well as the fact that not many women liked his pictures. I feel pitiful and hate myself because I allowed myself to get used to him and like him only for the 2 days we texted each other. I started worrying if I said something wrong but after rereading our chat, I found out that everything was okay. I started thinking that I must have been ugly or that he didn't like me... I even asked my friends if I looked like my photos and they all confirmed. But if it that was the case, then we he send me the request, texted me, asked me out?! Now, as absurd as it sounds, I miss him and I want him to text me again since I thought he was a good and decent guy... and that type of guys don't dump you if you refuse to fulfill their weird desire to send them a picture, right? I'm extremely confused, even though I'm used to the BS from idiots, but this time I somehow thought it was different...I feel emptiness and I miss him because I feel like I lost something valuable, even though I realize it obviously wasn't. Please give me advice what you think about this case. In your opinion, what did he want and what were his intentions? Do you think he was really decent and good, given the quotes about the true love he shared?
  2. For as long as I can remember, I've been single, except for 1-2 relationships, in which I gave more than the other side... Until recently, I didn't pay much attention to this, because I always believed that I would find my soulmate. I look at the people around me and they all are in relationships except me. I'm very sad and afraid for myself since I feel that the loneliness and fear have shattered me. I'm afraid that I'm not the same calm and cheerful person anymore.. I attend sessions with a specialist, but it is crucial for me to hear your opinion on this issue and get advice from you, because I really need it... I've always used my social media accounts primarily for fun and to keep in touch with my friends. However, unfortunately, I began comparing myself to the people who have relationships and the amount of followers/friends they have. I tell myself, "How do you think you're going to find your Person when you don't have many friends on social media? If you have a lot of followers, only then, there is probably a chance for you to be noticed by someone." I can't express how extremely exhausting and destructive on my mental health this is. Even though I know people who have met on social networks and yet don't have many followers.... Also, I've never been a party person and I didn't like big companies. I have some good friends, but no companies. I don't have boy friends who could become anything more. I'm not a shy or socially anxious person, there are just people who like to be among many people, but there are also those who don't like and I'm from the second one. Therefore, I constantly torture my mind with questions like ''Should I change myself completely? Should I start forcing and pushing myself among companies with more people, even though it will make me feel uncomfortable and not good? Is that the only solution and key for finding My Person?'' When it comes to dancing or social hobbies, unfortunately, the things I like to do aren't social and at the moment, there is nothing new I would like to try. Should that terrify me? Does this really mean that I'm doomed to never meet my partner in life? I am afraid that I live my life wrongly, dooming myself to loneliness and unhappiness. But do I really have to change who I am? Isn't it important to stay true to who you are? Should I start forcing myself to get a lot of followers, push myself into companies, and go to activities that aren't interesting to me, just because those are the ways to find a boyfriend? I really feel awful and desperate, as if I am in a huge black hole, from which there is no escape and no light ...
  3. Yes, I guess it's what HE wants for me after all and I must put Him first, but one of the main reasons to have this dream is exactly to go to church where i think people praise God more and be with Him more... and he doesn't let this happen even if it's more for Him than for me? Plus, if it was meant for me to have something better than my life in America, why does my life keep getting worse and worse here? And only bad things happen to me here? I don't understand it and this keeps eating me from inside and torturing me
  4. Hello. I am a Christian in her 20's who desperately needs your help and spiritual guidance because from my family, only I am the believer and I absolutely have no other friends or close people who are believers, which makes it impossible for me to seek any similar help (and I started therapy because I couldn't bare the pain any longer). Since I remember myself, I had a dream to live in the States and it wasn't the typical stupid American dream. I just always felt that I would be completely happy there - I loved almost everything there, especially the fact that I can share my faith properly. In my country, believers are not so many and they aren't Protestant - we go to church alone and etc. I had the chance to go there for Work and Travel and I loved it even more. However, lately, my only one dream to live there was completely shattered. No matter how much I tried all these years, there are so many reasons and personal obstacles in my life, making it completely impossible to realize. And I wanted to be legal, which is even more impossible since I can't achieve none of the things to be legal there. I can't describe how difficult, devastating, and exhausting this is for me to the point that I stopped having meaning in life... Since I am a believer, it makes it even more harder as I keep asking God why did he let this happen when so many even non-believers successfully live my dream without even dreaming, working hard, and praying for it? It feels so unfair and painful since I've never made anything so bad or horrific in my life that would make God punish me or something like this. What is more - every time, when there was an opportunity for me and people around me to cheat or lie for something, I have ALWAYS chosen the right and truthful path, no matter what... and it makes me feel even more angrier, alone, and devastated.. I keep reading and listening that that God knows your true desires and when you work hard and pray for them, He will let them happen. And no matter how much I tried, my dream was shattered and made impossible. While I know many people that didn't even care about that and they successfully live my dream.... Why? It just doesn't make any sense to me... Also, I thought that maybe God has a better plan for me here in my country. However, nothing in my life is good here, not to mention to get better with all my endless problems.. My parents don't care about me, my friends are not there for me when I've always been there for them, despite all my hard work, I am treated badly in my work and it's an emotional abuse. And on the top of that - I am experiencing this hell all alone... For me, every day is an emotional torture, trying to understand why did God allow my only dream to be shattered and as a result, to be extremely unhappy and devastated? Please, I really need your piece of wisdom and advice since it hurts so bad.
  5. Hello. I am a 26-year-old girl who feels completely alone, devastated, exhausted, and unwilling to fight anymore. Please, don't judge or insult me as this is the last thing I need since I try my best fight and heal my invisible wounds. I am a believer who lives neither in America, nor in England, nor in a country where there are Protestant churches. It's no secret where I live, but I just prefer not to go into such details. However, thanks to the Internet, I started following profiles of Christians and even Mormons on social media - people who inspire me with wisdom and their life. Unfortunately, due to many reasons and obstacles in my life, I will never be able to live abroad and experience such type of life. And this weighs on me too. However, the reason I turned to you for valuable advice, even though I go to therapy, is because I always believed that you are a great source of support, lack of judgment, and a shoulder to lean on. I know that no one has a perfect life and everyone has problems. But I feel like my problems are endless and I will never be truly happy. I had many problems with my appearance, health, and life in the past that I managed to overcome by myself. BUT my biggest problem that terrifies me is that I am 26 years old and I will never find the right person and true love. Boys always preferred someone else instead of me and they almost never been interested in me, although my friends say that I have a great character and I am beautiful. All my friends already have long and happy relationships, and so far, I've only had one. While looking in the profiles of Christians in social media, I often see how they define themselves ''blessed and happy people without big problems, to whom God often sends miracles'' They find the love of their lives in a unique way in their early 20s. They build big and happy religious families, which we often see in beautiful photo sessions. They have many amazing and loyal friends. And although I know comparison is bad, I can't help but take a look at my life. I am 26 years old and so far, I have only had one relationship. There is no prospect of meeting the right person anymore, because the places where people meet their loved ones, are impossible for me. I graduated from college, there are no men in my work, and I have 2 girlfriends who also don't go out in big companies. I don't think I've done anything so bad in my life, nor am I a bad person, and I really don't know why nothing good happens in my life. I also pray to meet the love of my life, to have a strong and happy family, but unlike believers in social media, miracles don't happen to me. On the contrary - I'm alone and I don't think I ever have a chance to meet the right person. My parents are not interested in me, my dreams are shattered ... All these years, I struggled with my problems and unhappiness all by myself, but now it really becomes too difficult and I can't stand it, I don't find meaning in life.... I even start thinking that I'm cursed or born to be alone and unhappy, while so many people around the world, especially my age ALREADY have wonderful families and a happy life full of miracles. Please, from the bottom of my heart, I go to therapy, but I would love for you to give me a piece of advice or just an opinion, because I really feel shattered, exhausted and I can't anymore ...
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