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About beetjstag83

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  1. first of all i got vaccinated for covid no problems with the vaccine. right now, family problems have been piling up on me, my uncle has been diagnosed with leukemia, my dad has problems with his knee and his weight, i was at the doctors office last week, i saw the girl receptionist she was really cute and i can tell she liked me but i didnt ask her out because i was really embarrassed. i had to get blood test today and i was excited to meet her again and she wasnt there and i broke down into tears when i got home because everything was piling up on me and i hoping to have someone to talk to because of everything that's going on, not to mention telling my mom about what happened, she adds it on saying i shouldnt ask anyone out because i dont know her and yet how am i supposed to meet anyone at all? she says i have to meet them through friends and i have no friends and she's upset that me and my brother wont have grandkids like we are not going to have grandkids, if you keep us from meeting any girls at all. like what i want to say to her now is do you want to be on your death bed looking at me and brother unhappy with no loved ones by our sides? i wouldnt want that for my kids. it's crazy. i was thinking what did i ever do to deserve this type of torture? and i was so depressed after that, felt like i just want to end it but i talked to my dad, he will help out since he goes to the same doctor as me but still it's very painful for me right now.
  2. my dad has been coughing his lungs out for over a year, he wont call the specialist to get it checked out, my mom does nothing, she's enables him like it's nothing, my brother does the same and im the only one that's telling him to get it checked out and says he will but he wont do it and im worried because when my mom refused to get a test done on her stomach for years and then when she did, she almost had cancer. like it's the same thing with my dad, im scared that he's going to wait the last minute and something bad is going to happen, i just dont know what to do, it's driving me crazy.
  3. thank you, yes i agree, i just dont have a buddy system, it's just me trying to get through this.
  4. i know thank you , yes, can you friend me i need someone to keep in touch because my family gets irritated when i talk about my problems.
  5. im on vacation right now in ocean city new jersey for four days, i was hoping to go swimming and go on the beach everyday but the storm from the south has been giving us rain and cloudy for two days and i feel so depressed right now, that i keep thinking about sucide because i feel im never going to be happy, i always meant to be alone for the rest of my life like there's a devil after me. i was on the beach the one day and i saw girl that was alone and i wanted to help her but i froze and i didn't want to do it, it feels something is holding me back, after that i just felt like l lost my soul like my life is over, depressed and emotional. i dont want to do. i want to live and i want to be happy, but i keep getting beat down with fear and i dont know how to beat it, it feels like i'll never will.
  6. yeah i know, i just feel like i cant even function when im around girls.
  7. i feel like i have given up on girls because i cant talk to them, none of them will talk to me, i guess i need muscles to attract girls because i dont have any or i got to be nasty person which im not, i dont know what to do, i feel like my soul is gone, i feel like when im in the parking alot i just want someone to run me over and end my life because no one likes me.
  8. wouldnt she want to see my whole face to know what i look like?
  9. im really confused on how to approach this because if i meet someone at a store or a cashier, i dont want to get in trouble and that girl in trouble. like if i see some cute girl that's a cashier, do i just ask if she wants to get to know me with my mask on even though she doesnt know what i look like? i dont know how to do this, if anyone has tips, im open for that.
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