@tryin hi I am new here and s.one who has come here for support of my depression. i was just exploring this site and the forums and here i come to urs as well.
i get ur story and ur struggles mentally and emotionally. you are going through a rough time and rightfully so bcz of many reasons, covid and, others due to it. i am replying to this forum very late by the way some 15 days later but may be i can or may contribute if i may be right.
i think u need to be compassionate towards urself for going through this as this would have been the case for many relationships and the impact this hve had on people's mental well being plus the stress of covid esp as u are a clinician.
but i would say one else thing which is the point of view from ur boyfriend s.one who has been depressed that its very hard to maintain relationships when someone is in depression.
well to my surprise and may be urs as well he is in contact with friends but not the intimate relationship i mean with you but i see its a good thing bcz atleast he is being not socially withdrawn and i hope by this way will reach to you as well, but at the same time very heartbeaking as he is not in touch with you, may be i am biased say on his side bcz of the common thing between us, the depression. but i am open to it atleast and i think u need to be minded as well to all this scenerio .This time is really tough for us all, our relationships, our mental health, our physical health and so and so.
i advise u to be have and bear some compassion towards both of u , but esp you yourself, and then try to find a healthy perspective and may be encourage or atleast just ak him to see a mental health professional.