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soundwall

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About soundwall

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    Female

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  1. You're not alone. I'm 33 and 2 years ago I lost my job during a psychotic break when I deleted the websites I used to make money off of. I have a little bit of graphic design and marketing skill, but no degree and where I come from they won't take me without one. I tried out for so many jobs this year and got rejected for all of them. I am unemployed now for over 2 years living off of my family's income with no financial freedom at all. I don't know what I am supposed to do in this situation. I have no money to go to school and get a degree in something I could be doing but I don't even know what I would choose if I had the money. I'm not passionate about anything since I'm on medication and wish I could just retire but the prospect of retiring is gloomy for me as well because I barely have any work experience. I have nothing to fall back on to
  2. Hey how are you right now? I know delusions can be a handful, it's very hard to control yourself. Have you reached out for help irl? Anti-psychotics can help decrease the delusions but you have to have a prescription for them
  3. I've been on the lowest dose of antipsychotics (Haldol) for my borderline personality disorder. I think it takes away all my creativity and will, but since I had 2 psychotic episodes in the past 3 years I am afraid to get off it. Does anyone else have experience with antipsychotic medication side effects?
  4. Thank you for the welcome. I feel right now I feel low but not so low that I can't function. I still go to the grocery store and take baths, but I don't get out much (this was going on before the lockdown so it's not a big change). The most frustrating thing is that I have no job and no income so that adds to the anxiety of living day by day supported only by my sister atm.
  5. I feel completely restless as if I don't know what to do with myself. If anyone has a good list of distractions I could use, I would appreciate it so much.
  6. Thank you for the welcome both of you. I am feeling restless right now because I woke up at 3 AM instead of having a full night's sleep.
  7. I feel restless, the past couple of days I couldn't get enough sleep or I slept too much. The isolation isn't helping either. When I wake up I end up with having no idea what to do with myself. I just smoke and lie in bed most of the time on the laptop. I don't have a job either so it's also anxiety inducing just to lie around while my finances are crumbling away bit by bit. I just don't know what to do, nothing even brings me joy atm, no hobbies or anything. I'ts so frustrating.
  8. Hi I'm Soundwall F, 33 yo and I am suffering from depression, anxiety and borderline personality disorder (all diagnosed). I am having a hard time the past couple of weeks especially since I have no friends to speak to about my problems. I am reaching out here in hope of support. I feel the medical community has let me down and even though I am taking my medications regularly I don't see how they can help me overcome my current states of depression and anxiety.
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