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Dioxeon

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Everything posted by Dioxeon

  1. Thank you for your kind replies. I do agree, of course. One shouldn't be judged simply by the country he is from. Though, it gets to me the more it happens. I am not ashamed of the place I was born, otherwise I just wouldn't tell anyone. Though, it happened again today. Someone blocked me immediately after I replied to the question "Where are you from?". It really does end up making me feel like some kind of monster.
  2. I wish I were born elsewhere. As soon as I mention the country I'm from, people's attitude towards me changes completely. I got over it the first few times it happened, but it gets draining when it's been happening consistently for all ~11 years I've been on the internet. I get approached by English (and sometimes French) learners relatively often for help. Though, as soon as they ask where I'm from, and I tell them, they seem to no longer want my assistance. Most people ghost me the moment I mention my nationality. I get discredited for my efforts, and am immediately assumed to be bad at what I do, and/or uneducated. Sometimes, I think I should just lie about it, or not mention it at all, but I feel like doing that would hurt my conscience. I try to be as honest and straightforward as I can. One guy (from the west) seemed really excited to find out I was from Asia, but the moment I mentioned where in Asia, he got really aggressive with me, and hasn't spoken to me since. I think he was hoping I'd be from Japan, Korea, or somewhere in east-Asia. I hate feeling like I disappointed someone. I know I can't change where I was born, and leaving this place is damn well near impossible. That being said, I do like to dream. Thanks for reading this far if you did. I hope you have a nice day/night. From Lebanon.
  3. We are in the same boat, comrade. Every day of this has been a challenge. I hope you can come out of this stronger. And Chumly, I am sorry you have to put up with your mother. We don't get to choose the family we're born with, but I firmly believe it's okay to cut those people out and replace them with the family that you *do* choose. Friends, partner, etc. Everyone has some sort of redeeming quality. It doesn't mean much. If your mom is causing you distress so often and refuses to actually change, you're allowed to walk away. It seems to me like you've given her many chances at redemption already. I know how exhausting constant arguments can be, especially with people who are impossibly sensitive and hate being wrong. Of course, it's your call. Good luck.
  4. Tired 1. of people online being scared of me just because of the country I'm from. 2. because a certain someone I'm stuck with in quarantine is thrilled that the covid-19 pandemic is happening, and was wishing that it would carry on so everyone would be on forced lockdown for longer. Of course, when I said that wasn't the kindest wish - she decided to tell me I was going through a "phase" where I like contradicting everything I'm told. Spoke to me like I was some sort of devious pre-teen. When she speaks her mind, she "has an opinion". No matter how absurd and easily disprovable. When I speak my mind, I'm being "delusional" or "rebellious". And I "just want to argue for the sake of arguing". I am so tired of living with her.
  5. Hey, mmd. I love to chat. If you need someone to talk to, hmu, man.
  6. I wouldn't mind joining one.
  7. Bodyweight training & abs. Maybe I'll go for some long walk back and forth in the hallway as well, lol.
  8. Hello, Kogent5. You are not alone. I am also isolating in a "toxic" household. To be more specific- there is one especially toxic person in my house that I am stuck with. I cannot give much detail, but it definitely feels restrictive. I'm coping by locking myself in a room and ignoring everyone. I'm always on the phone with a friend. Always "busy" doing something, perhaps working on a design project, learning a new line of code, reading something important, or revising my Japanese hiragana. I can only hope that this insanity ends soon, and you are set free from your abuser. Good luck, comrade.
  9. This is getting way out of hand. I still don't understand why it's toilet paper, of all things. There are so many alternatives for it. Do people not know how to use water, soap, towels, or whatever else?
  10. A friend of mine dislikes sticky/slimy textures on her hands as well. You can consider switching to hand wipes instead.
  11. Thank you, BeyondWeary. Thankfully this forum does a good job of reminding me I'm not alone.
  12. Hello, Epictetus. Do not worry about being late. I appreciate the response Thank you.
  13. This quote: "Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff." It worked to just have a "nothing really matters enough to bring up" type of attitude. Acknowledging the bad in your own head, but learning to disregard it, and see it as unimportant/futile. I'm a pessimist myself and am no longer as good at shrugging off negativity as I used to be. But, when I had that mentality, people questioned how I was always so "chill" about everything. How I could just sit back and laugh my problems off. How I never seemed upset or worked up about anything that happened.
  14. Hey there. It's great that your friend wants you to be a big part of her wedding like that. So, if you can manage, it might be a nice thing to do for her. I am sorry to hear things aren't going that well for you, however. I have two sisters, so I know how strict they can be about color-matching dresses at weddings. If the trip is too expensive for you, I think you should be excused - but if you go, I hope you have fun, at least. As for not having friends locally - I live in a small country of people whom I could not hope to get along with. I know the feeling. It's not pleasant, so, I am sorry. Things may seem pretty low now, and I cannot be present in your local area to give you someone to hang out with. However, if you ever need to talk, feel free to shoot me a message. I'll be happy to listen. Remember, things are ever changing. it may take time, but it won't be this way forever.
  15. Hi, Atra. I would love to belong to this found family. I am glad I found you too. It's good to be here.
  16. Thank you very much and thank you all for the warm welcome. I hope I can contribute positively with my stay.
  17. Hey, Pars. I hope you can find the help you are looking for. I, for one, would be happy to listen to you, if you ever needed to talk.
  18. Hey, I just joined this forum. I'm Mike (short for Michael), 21 years old, from Lebanon (the country). I was diagnosed with depression during my first year of high school, when my family deemed my behavior to have become dangerous enough to pay attention to. I was taken to a therapist, but eventually left - as he would spend most of our sessions texting his other patients on Whatsapp, rather than listening to me. He offered to send me to someone who could prescribe me Anti-depressants - but having seen what they'd done to my mother, I refused. My family didn't look for another therapist, as they were all very expensive, and they believed I could heal from depression, if I just tried. And so, I ended up having to deal with my issues on my own. There is little to no help provided for people who struggle with depression, anxiety, or the like, where I live. It was bound to happen. To my understanding, my depression was caused by a variety of things. One of the biggest ones being isolation. I grew up to have a drastically different mindset than most people in my country, which meant that I would never meet anyone I could (even remotely) get along with. I often struggle to communicate with others, even on a surface level, unless they live abroad (I find I get along best with Brits, and Canadians, among others). Unfortunately, people from other countries often don't want to have anything to do with me, because of my ethnicity - even online. So, I'm left with no one to interact with. As you can imagine, I haven't gotten better. So, I'm here, now. I am hoping I can be there for other people, if they need my help, or my support. Thank you for reading. I apologize for any mistakes.
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