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BrainRot

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Everything posted by BrainRot

  1. Am I being impatient by thinking that this stuff should be working by now? I’m realizing that I still spend most of my time depressed with thoughts of suicide. Is it possible that this particular medication just doesn’t work for me? I feel like it’s making me worse. Is that even possible? How long does this take?
  2. Day 45 With all of the negativity in the news lately I'm trying to stay positive. It's been a little difficult. Feeling better today and yesterday.
  3. Day 42 Unfortunately I spent most of yesterday looking at pictures of people that have hanged themselves. I started a strict diet yesterday because I feel that a lot of my depression stems from being overweight and having a negative self image. I'm a bit of a loner and being forced to stay at home with my wife, mother in law, and kid are taking their toll.
  4. Day 40. Nothing but dark thoughts this morning since I woke up. Can't stop thinking of different methods and acting out.
  5. Day 39 I walked 4 miles this morning and I'm feeling pretty good today so far. Anxiety is nearly non-existent when talking to people. As far as anxiety goes this medication works very well for me. Hopefully my baseline increases for depression.
  6. Thank you for your post JessieJake(GutRot)! I just now had a feeling of contentment. I noticed that the weather outside very much plays a roll in how I feel. If it's a dark grey day I'm more likely to be depressed. When the sun comes out from behind the clouds I suddenly feel like everything is going to be okay. I live near Seattle so the depressing weather just isn't good for me. I know what you mean about that pang in the stomach. I do feel that with Prozac my anxiety has gone down tremendously. The few times that I went out shopping I didn't have a sense of panic or anger in the store like I usually do. When I talk to others I feel just a little more free to speak my mind. Today is day 38.
  7. Day 35 - Dosage increase Yesterday after writing my post to the forums here I decided to also write to my Dr. Since I am still on a low dose they decided to up my dosage to 30mg. I'll keep updating here with my progress.
  8. Day 34 I didn't realize it has been a week since I've written on here. I feel spacier than usual. More forgetful. I have been experiencing some trouble going back to sleep after waking up around 1 or 3 am. That's the time of the day that my mind wants to contemplate life and scare myself about existence. I'm still depressed half the time. I still have thoughts of ending things. Half the time I feel like screaming. I feel like I'm crawling in my own skin. I will wait 4 more weeks then decide what to do.
  9. Day 27 Been dealing with a lot of depression still and anxiety seems elevated most of the day. It doesn't help that my wife and my daughter are both home for the next month due to coronavirus. Just having them around is making me more irritable than usual. I've been eating more than usual the past month and have gained about 5lbs.
  10. Thank you twotone. Today is a much easier day. I'm not sure what happened. I will try breathing exercises.
  11. Day 24 I've spent the last three days in a deep depression. Thoughts of suicide occupied my mind all day yesterday. I am finding my family to be very irritating and can't stand to be around them. I just need some quiet time by myself but won't get any since the schools are shut down now.
  12. My depression is back for now. Been crying and feeling sorry for myself again.
  13. Last night I was super irritable. This morning I am fine. My left inner thigh (next to my knee) has been twitching all last night and today.
  14. Day 19. I'm still getting a body high from this stuff. Makes me feel good most of the time. Over the weekend I felt amazing. Even yesterday something bad happened and I still felt good. Last night however I was very irritable. Mostly just wanted to be left alone. I feel that I may have a food allergy or intolerance that I need to address. Going to do an elimination diet soon to see what it is.
  15. Day 16. Yesterday was a good day. Today, so far so good. It really helps that it’s the weekend and I don’t have to work and stress out.
  16. Day 14. Still no change to my sex drive which I really need to start going down if I'm going to get better. A lot of stress going on lately.
  17. Thanks twotone. I reached out to my doctor online yesterday and told them about the lingering depression and anxienty. I suggested that I increase my dosage from 10 to 20. They agreed. So starting today I am on 20mg. I expect the brain fog and the typical symptoms again but I'll give it at least a month before I really decide if I want to keep going.
  18. Day 12. Suicidal thoughts are back. I was hoping that my sex drive would also go down but it's still as strong as ever.
  19. Today I feel trapped in my own skin. A bit of rage, a bit of irritability, a bit of anxiety, a bit of depression. Wondering if I should ask my doctor for a standard dose of 20mg like everyone else gets or if I should wait it out. Day 11.
  20. Today is day 10. The euphoria seems to be low grade now and rare. I've only cried twice this past week and thoughts of suicide went from every day to just twice in 10 days. Much improvement. -=Anxiety up. Depression down.=- I'm assuming my anxiety will eventually come back down given that it hasn't even been two weeks yet. I find myself saying words wrong or saying the wrong word that I meant to say. Seems to be a common side effect.
  21. Day 5. I've noticed a few times that I've felt euphoric but it only lasts for 15 minutes or so then it goes away. Does this medication work in waves like that or can I later expect a more consistent feeling as it builds up in my system? No changes to my sex drive yet.
  22. I think the reason she started me so low was because I had an allergic reaction about 20 years ago to Wellbutrin (Bupropion) with just one pill (itchy hands and leg paralysis) and Prozac is in the same family. I am currently on day 4. I am nervous about side effects (like everyone else) and just looking for a place to go and converse about my experience so I'm glad I found this website. I've been depressed since I was 12 and can't imagine life being any better but I just can't give up.
  23. I saw a doctor for the first time in 19 years. I was so depressed and checked out that I answered honestly to the questionaire about self harm that the was given to me before seeing the doctor. Big mistake. My doctor called crisis planning. I spent most of the time on the phone answering suicide questions and scheduling a meeting with a counselor. I know she was doing her job but I felt betrayed. Anyway, the doctor put me on 10mg prozac. Today is day 3. I'm really hoping this helps but I'm assuming it won't. My depression is worse than anyone I know and 10mg probably won't even make a dent. Time will tell.
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