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Everything posted by Shijima

  1. Very true I don't think of the future only the present moment. I feel a lot of pain all the time and feel no peace in real life or dreams since I re live my past a lot. Or just people situations in general and I cry bad with some or too scared to move. I live with it nothing no one can really do to help me. I made peace with it though. Guys today I never met a good one before. Be nice to meet respectfull, kind gentlemen like guy. I rather have a nice guy than a bad boy type girls fall for more these days.
  2. Sunny and hot, I hope fall comes soon.
  3. I'm grateful for my mother and sister I'm grateful for movies and books that made me happy lately I'm grateful for something unknown with me right now helping me
  4. The Shack This movie has opened my eyes and my heart about the whole God thing. I'm still on my spiritual journey to find out what I believe in but it made cry throughout the whole movie. If I end up just being spiritual then it will be that. All I know is I'm not alone and etc.
  5. I got Covid last year on Thanksgiving from my mother due to her co worker not caring for the rules they had last year and coming in sick. She claimed to just then got tested to see if she had it and came in anyway waiting for the results if she had Cvid or not. My mother got it and two others at her job because of her. Then my whole family and myself got it from her. So we all had it already and all my family got there shots due to their work they'd have too. I don't work and still need to get them.
  6. I feel very content, calm, optimistic, productive, and great for a couple days now. My heart feels lighter and not hurting much. So even if it doesn't last I got some peace for a while from the first time in years.
  7. I'm not fully healed really or at true peace yet. I hope the feeling will last though I still have an extremely long journey to heal and get 100% well. My heart is still very much broken, cracked and brused.Though I feel it beating more and not hurting much these past few days. I help people and don't really get much in return either. Right now my heart is feeling nice though it won't last since I'm never happy happy that long like a lot smiling or laughing either..Movies help me to feel happy though other than that my family no one has seen my true smile or heard my laugh.
  8. I'm a loner or an introvert myself and do feel a lot of pain. Though not because of being alone just what people done to me for a long time online and real life as well. However these past few days something changed in me and I don't feel pain anymore in my heart. I do hope it lasts. I'll still have bad days like anyone would though I'm learning slowly to let people in possibly. I have no social life just my family and help team. Not sad nor depreate for friendship or meeting someone romanticly possibly. If it happenes, it happens and if not oh well. I hope things gets better with you and your family situation. I know from my grandma she always puts others first and so do I. I know that's bad but I'm very caring if someone gets to know me more in depth. I'm working on putting me first now.
  9. @Leonhart Hello and welcome to Depression Fourms~! I hope you enjoy your stay here and find it helpful to you as well. Please take care and see you around.
  10. Thank you your very kind I appreciate it You're welcome.
  11. I know the feeling of being really sad I feel it all the time plus my pain 24/7 Somehow I manage it by proving all who hurt me wrong and fighting and not letting them win. Its tough and I've been called strong a lot though still I can't see it fully if I am strong. Whatever your feeling will pass don't let the sadness win think about things or people who make you happy. Be glad your alive and not dreading it. We all go through hardships some more than others and severe. Just breath ok? Try and smile things will get better for you. If it takes time yes it sucks waiting but it WILL happen for you.
  12. Thinking about what it be like to have a boyfriend to experience love and to truly understand it. Alas tis only a dream of mine. *reads romance YA books*
  13. I'm feeling content, motivated, productive, happy, and smiling a lot more today~ ( which is super rare for me to smiley) I also had pleasant dreams again as well, making my mood awesome feeling.
  14. Life is Strange game walk-through by IHasCupquake on YouTube ~ ❤
  15. *sigh* Yet another heat wave this week. Sunny and hot~
  16. I made Sloppy Joe for lunch so I'm eating that~
  17. Yeah I was very sad after that. You're welcome and also get what you mean.
  18. Well you're in charge of your own life and what you do. If its hard for you then tell them that if its a true friend they understand or family even. Howevers birthday it is. Or go for a little bit then leave and if you want to try and go for the whole time just deep breath, think of stuff that makes you happy or go outside if its nice out to breath in fresh air since it's good for all of us then re enter the parity. Not sure what else to say, apologies. Last birthday party I ever is when I turned 13. Invited 6 girls from my school not one showed up all gave lame excuses that they couldn't come like REAL lame. I cried my eyes out the rest of the day.Next day I went to school they were like: "omg no one came?" in there preppy fake voices that I was not good enough so played this huge joke on me. After that years passed I never had one again sadly.
  19. I woke up feeling, confident, content, optimistic and lastly motivated. *starts reading my book while next to my cat* ❤ [ I'm very sorry to see some of you are struggling, I hope things get better for you all soon. *sending good vibes to everyone* ]
  20. I still feel very good accomplished a lot with my sister cleaning and being productive as well spending time her today. So feeling content, happy, optimistic and at peace inner and outter.
  21. I helped a few people but still no one to really in depth to talk too. Oh well we shall see what happens. *gose back to reading my books*
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