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Lucas Allan

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About Lucas Allan

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  1. Hello, I'm posting this new topic as a continuation of something I wrote on the introductions topic, and this is like a question to some of you who might want to answer. I understand that one of the most common feelings one gets when depressed and anxious is the apparent inability to change things, to feel impotent. I've been to a good number of therapists, but it never stick, and that's because I don't feel that reaching the root cause of my feelings, knowing why I feel the way I feel, helps me feel different. So I want to know from your, if there's even a way to explain this, what process did happen for you when you realized why you felt how you felt that made you feel differently. I faced many, many traumas and flaws about myself, and came to realize them, and that they're mostly the reason why I feel this way, but realizing this didn't change anything like people, and therapists, usually say will happen when you achieve these realizations. I mostly know now why I'm insecure, anxious, depressed and such, but knowing why didn't help... So that's why I wanna hear from someone that it dit. Thanks in advance for reading all this.
  2. Hey, highanxiety Cool nickname. High anxiety landed me here too. This is actually my first answer on a subtopic. I highly relate to your post, and it seems a lot of people here also do. I read the pinned post that says about how we shouldn't look for a resolution because there's no way, no magical solution to fix the chemical imbalance going on our brains right now, and that it's a process that takes time. This above, however, just sucks, because we're anxious, of course. We don't want to wait until the imbalance resolve itself. We want this hell gone right now. How do this relates to your post? Well, because, at least for me, I want this indifference to life, this lack of enjoyment for just about anything to pass right away. The more time it passes, the more I feel that nothing's ever going to satisfy, interest, entertain me ever again. I used to like playing games, watching some tv shows, using the computer... These days, I just can't seem to focus on any of these hobbies for more than 5 minutes before my mind starts wondering around the same thoughts as ever, wondering how and when this is going away, worrying I'm not going to have interest in anything anymore... I push people away because of being too tired to explain this all everytime someone asks how I am, and then I crave social interaction, but the people I know that would answer me wouldn't want to know about what I want to talk about, and I don't know how I would be able keep a casual conversation about trivial things, so I just don't try... Well, seems like you found a good therapist so I'm not sure how useful this comment may be, it can even be a prejudice, but, well, maybe relating could also help Hope you're having better days, and the we all might have some, someday
  3. Hello Atra, Thanks for your warm welcome, and more significantly, your advices on how to act from here own in the forums. I'm sorry about not posting a couple days after the first post... I'm still not used to externalise. Not even sure what I should externalise (even if I wrote a lot on the previous post). Today was pure hell, worst than usual even. It's a thousand degrees here where I live. The sheer heat makes things even worst, couldn't do anything even if I had the will to move, which I don't. It's like living in a Vegas desert. Thanks for everything guys.
  4. Hi sober4life, I'm glad that I'm not the only on going through this for years, I actually didn't think I was but I don't personally know anyone who does, but at the same time I'm very sorry in knowing you and other people are going through it. It's hell. At this point, I'm wishing I didn't care to fit in, as social craving is at it's highest right now for me, but I also fear what'll happen if I stop caring. Will I just accept isolation? And then what, would I then enjoy hobbies more and being by myself? Is that even healthy?... Well, honestly, just enjoying anything right now would be nice. Hope you're finding enjoyable things on your side. Thanks for your welcome 🙂
  5. Hi JessiesMom I actually think a lot of people these days are out of synchronicity with each other, and what they usually do when they're concerned is to give advice based in their own experience, which although well-intentioned, usually fails to work, as each person have things works best for them. This makes me question the very nature of advising. Of course, it's out of anyone's capacity to give advice out of their personal experience, but one should not assume that all depression is the same and is resolved the same, but I guess that's just a testament of how depression is seen. Real concern and awareness of depression should lead to advises about getting therapy, medication, and understanding such as "I understand that I can't know what you're going through, even if I went through something similar, but I'm sure you have your reasonings, and although now you might not want to see other points of view, they might help eventually, so just now that now I'm here, not judging." I think that covers a lot of bases. Also, this was probably already discussed in plenty, but I wanted to give my 2 cents on this take
  6. Epictetus, Thank you very much, you're too kind. Hope you're having a great night
  7. Hi guys, Thanks for having me in. So, to start, I see that most people here are from the US. I'm actually not, so, I would like to know if that's ok. I mean, it probably is, but maybe it's frown upon, I don't know... Well, I got here like a lot of you did, by googling it. I'm actually surprised at myself for not thinking of this earlier, "online group for chatting directly with other people suffering from depression and anxiety". It's brilliant, as one of the most recurrent feelings is loneliness and isolation. So, my case: right now, I'm here, depressed and anxioust now, after recently getting out of a relationship, but I don't want to make my case about this. The story: Some time around adolescence, I started to dislike everything most people liked. It annoyed me that people linked my likings to what most people my age also liked. It's even one of the reasons I'm speaking english right now, so I could talk about my things in a way most people around me wouldn't understand. The peak of arrogance. So, my teenage years passed, and left me with likings no one else had, having nothing in common with anyone. The craving for social interactions came, but I was now suffering from the consequences of alienating people earlier on. Eventually, anxiety hit. Being alone just thinking about the world for too long made me create scenarios and anticipate things 24/7. Then the physical symptoms came, tingling, numbness, tightness on the chest, left arm pain: not a heart, but a panic attack, on to full blown panic disorder, which lasts to this very night. Years on and off all anxiety medications described on your boards, therapies and such. I tend to argue my points until there is no arguments left with anybody till they lose patience, and to me, now, that doesn't seem wrong, as I just arrive at conclusions that there seems to be no way out. Even with therapists. Final conclusions tend to be "you're just being too negative, cramping all the exists / there can't be no alternatives, you're just too low down". I don't want to be an arrogant pain in the a*s, but I would like real alternatives, arguments, ones I can put to practice. I would really love to, and I even ask to, if someone's interested to go about these arguments I'm talking about, with patience and willingness to try to reach a rational conclusion on some things. Like, how should you feel different about an emotion even when you get to the root cause of it? How knowing the root cause changes the physical feeling of being anxious about something, those uncontrollable thoughts that keep popping into your head, the urge to stand up and pace... And other questions like that. Things like "pray" or "try some exercises", they... Well, most of you have been there/are there right now, getting these kinds of "advices" and knowing they can't help. Thanks for paying attention to these rants. I'm 25 btw, although it may seem I'm 80 in this post
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