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About skigirl1689

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  1. I'm sorry to hear that. Major relapses are so very difficult. I've been on Zoloft for over 3 months now, upped after 3 weeks from 100mg to 150mg. I don't know if it's working as well as it should be. I am dealing with some major life issues. I am moderately physically disabled and I can't get answers as to who will take care of me when my parents are no longer able to. The state is not answering my inquiries. Worse is coming to the realization I'll never have a family life and I'll be alone for a lot of my life. I feel trapped in my body and like I have no control over my future. I know it's just the lot I've been given in this life, but it's very difficult for me to see much to my life after my parents are gone :(.
  2. I am doing ok. I had to go to a psychiatrist as it became really rough. He upped it to 150mg a month ago, and I do feel more calm, but I am still very depressed. I am terrified of my future as I am physically disabled, my parents are getting older, and I don't know who is going to care for me. There is a crisis in funding, housing, and staff for people like me. I went to college, but services focus on the intellectually disabled or the elderly, so I am fighting the feelings of wanting to die, etc. I wake up panicking about how I am going to survive relying on strangers. I hope your switch is goes as well as possible. Please don't take my experiences as how it will be for you as I have a lot of other issues in my life that I am contending with.
  3. I'm glad it is working for you! I am doing ok, I see a little improvement but cannot sleep through the night, so my doc told me to start taking it in the morning. I am praying it helps as I need some sleep and some relief.
  4. I've been on Lexapro 20mg for 9.5 years, and this past month has been hell. I dread every day, am super anxious, and it just feels like my first major depressive episode. I'm not sleeping well and don't feel hungry, having to force myself to eat. I've tried a lot of things to try to make it better, but I finally asked for a med change. Tonight I go straight to taking Zoloft 100mg. I am so terrified that it will make things worse. I just don't know if I am making the right decision. The thing is that I feel almost normal in the evenings, so I doubt myself so much. Anyone else go from Lexapro to Zoloft with success?
  5. Thank you. I keep doubting myself because I feel better most evenings, but then the cycle repeats itself. Then I also worry that changing meds will make it worse. But like my doctor says, it cannot go on like this. I was hoping it was a med interaction, but it doesn't seem to be improving as it should.
  6. I've been on Lexapro 20mg for almost 10 years, and the past month has been hell. It started with extreme anxiety, and now I am having borderline suicidal thoughts, not wanting to be here and struggling to get through each day. I've seen my doctor twice as I am so hesitant to change meds in fears it will make it worse. But I just emailed her and asked if she could call in a new med (she wants to try Zoloft). My question is, does this sound like a poop-out? I thought it was because of stopping birth control and some stress, but now it feels like my last severe depressive episode (my first).
  7. I've been on Lexapro for nearly 5 years, 20mg, and switched to the generic form in either February or March of this year. I did not notice any change with the switch to the generic and my depression/anxiety seems to be well controlled. However, for the past week I have had pretty bad insomnia, trouble falling asleep, only to wake up 3 hours later and then having major issues falling back to sleep. I try getting up and reading, progressive muscle relaxation, prayer...nothing is working. And it seems to get worse with each passing night. There's only been one day where I napped and it was maybe for an hour and in the past I could nap 2+ hours and still sleep at night. I did have a difficult week, with the 1 year anniversary of an uncle's death, my birthday which last year I spent at his wake, and two days later the 4 year anniversary of another uncle's death. They were both in their 50s and battled cancer so that makes it more difficult as it wasn't from natural aging. And then yesterday my cousin had a car flip in front of her business, totaling her car and pushing it into the highway, and the flipped car landed four feet from the building. She had just gotten to work and in the building when it happened. No one was hurt, thank God, but it was a stresser. I am wondering if the insomnia is linked to the Lexapro, but I don't know if it is. I've been taking it at night since the beginning so I have not switched the schedule. Any suggestions are very appreciated! P.S. I should point out that I have not noticed feeling any more stressed in the past week than normal. Also wondering if it could be linked to hormones.
  8. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  9. I will not have an aide in college, thank goodness! I only have one more month to put up with her, thank goodness and she doesn't do hardly anything for me at all, I could be totally independent if I wanted to be but because it's a union job, I can't just dismiss her on my own, unfortunately. I am probably going to report her to the administration after I graduate because I fear she will do this to another child after I leave who will be totally incapable of knowing that it's not their fault it is happening to them. I just hope I can put up with it until then. Sheepwoman, I did apply for services and I have orientation on Tuesday so I will find out what accommodations and services I will receive then.
  10. I have cerebral palsy and I have to have an aide at school for help with physical tasks. I had a severe depressive episode in the fall and ended up in the hospital for 2 nights because I was having suicidal thoughts. I had a lot of issues thinking that I was somehow ticking my aide off because she would barely talk to me and would snap at me if I asked her for help. Thankfully through hours of therapy I realized that it was not my fault. Here's where I'm having a problem, my aide is super moody and totally unpredictable. Last week she snapped at me because I couldn't get my pencil out of my ringed notebook and she had to spend 10 seconds getting it out. She repeatedly questions me about what some of my mom's comments to her are supposed to mean, like I'm supposed to be able to vouch for her and then gets ticked at me for the rest of the day if I explain for my mom and defend her. She criticizes my dad too and she said that my sister is sneaking around with her boyfriend because my dad is too strict. My parents have given my sisters and I almost everything we want and they have been giving my sister a ton of freedom. One day I was telling my best friend that I needed to go clothes shopping, which means driving two hours to get to the good stores (where I live, there is very little in terms of good quality clothing). My mom just recovered from knee surgery and she's not up to going. So my aide butted into the conversation and said why doesn't my sister take me and I said my dad wouldn't let her drive in a big city alone when she got her license less than a year ago. That's when my aide made the comment that my sister is sneaking around because of my dad's strictness. I did mention that my dad does give my sister restrictions as to dating but it's just curfews and stuff like that, nothing excessive. Yesterday she was kinda accusatory of my mom taking me to my college orientation, like my mom was doing something wrong in taking the day to take me. What the heck?!?! I can't get to orientation on my own since I cannot drive and I'm meeting with my advisor to discuss my accomodations and everything else related my disability that will be relevant to my education. I think my aide is angry because my mom works with her friend and the friend thinks my mom shouldn't be taking any more time off because she had to take 7 weeks off because she hurt her knee. Gosh, I think no one should be criticizing what my mom does for her child, especially when her child has special needs. I am so stressed out because I never know what is going to set her off next. My parents just tell me I only have two months left to deal with her so just ignore her but my mom did say it needs to stop after what happened yesterday. I'm getting headaches and tension in my neck on a daily basis and feel like I'm right on the edge of a relapse with my depression. I can't go to the administration and tell them because if she found out it would be a living nightmare dealing with her reaction and they wouldn't believe me anyway because she acts so nice around everyone else. I know she probably has stress in her life too, but is it acceptable the way she treats me? I want to tell my provider who handles my IEP which states my accommodations and services I receive because of my disability, but I don't think there are any safeguards to protect me as a student, because I know how it works in the public school systems, the employees are always protected by the union and it's never about what is best for the student. Yet, when she's in a good mood that maybe I just overreacted to the bad stuff. But I know that the good moods do not excuse the bad stuff she's doing. Everyone thinks everything is wonderful because my aide acts so perfect around everyone else and it would be my word against mine. Any advice??? Today she said just 5 words to me in the first two hours I at school. I feel like she's mad at me for something or hates working with me. Thankfully I only have 21 full days before I graduate but how do you handle being with someone like her each day without becoming more depressed???? Right now I'm doing ok but I fear this will push me over the edge to a relapse or worse. Becca
  11. When I first started on Lexapro, the anxiety was horrid. I think after I upped my dose from 10 to 20 mg the anxiety finally subsided. I also found that taking it at night helped as I noticed that I was much more anxious when I took it in the mornings.
  12. I've been seeing a therapist for my depression since the beginning of November 2007. I have seen her 8 times, I started going weekly and now I go once a month. I'm doing really well but I'm not sure if I'm ready to end my sessions. I am doing well on my own between sessions but worry about not having that time to talk about my issues. Has anyone ended therapy after having good results and how did you decide when was the right time to stop going to therapy???? Becca
  13. Thanks everyone for all of the support. I'm glad I was able to give some of you some hope. Becca
  14. Hey everyone, I posted a few times in December and January having issues with Lexapro. It took about 7 weeks on 10mg and then my doctor upped it to 20mg and after about a week at the 20 mg I felt 100% better. Don't get me wrong, I still am working through some issues like feeling guilty and responsible for things even when I know I didn't do anything wrong. I'm finally enjoying my life again and feeling the best I have in months. I know it's rough waiting eight weeks and changing dosages but I hope my story encourages you to hang on and if it doesn't get better after 8 weeks, try a different med because they can truly help you to fight the depression. Becca
  15. I've been feeling much more like myself except for some morning anxiety which is really hard sometimes. I'm glad I stuck with the Lexapro 20 mg but now am having indigestion a lot and it's very painful. I'm not sure if it's from taking the pill or not. I hope not because I don't want to have to quit taking the Lexapro when I just started feeling better. Still working very hard to change my illogical negative thought patterns. It can get so exhausting. Gucci Son, hang in there, it took me like 4 weeks to respond to the 10 mg and a week and a half to respond to the 20 mg but I'm happy I hung on. If anyone has had indigestion issues while on Lexapro, please let me know.
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