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Posts posted by DragonBallZ1995

  1. On 2/19/2020 at 8:03 PM, sober4life said:

    I remember the times when I was happier.  I was happier because I had a more naive attitude about life.  I believed there was some good in the world.  I don't believe that anymore and even if there is good in the world evil is in full control so I lose.

    same here

  2. once i went to a holy place in india as im indian the name of the place is shirdi
    in that lodging room i was talking to my par people in other parents so loud that people in room in front of me could hear these things

    so i got depressed and im in delusion

  3. im in delusions right noe please help i feel almost dead
    its also like my tounge or someting else creating delusions and confusion for others and its really bad please help i mean i also depression patient who suffers from delusions
    which also means jupiter and mercury are fighting in astrology
  4. doctor said that i have depression doctor didnt diagnoesd me but he gave me prescribed pills of depression i was once diagnosed 6 years ago but reports show that im ok

    i dont see this symptoms from youtube, google or facebook sowhat kind of depression is this

    following are things i face or see:

    this disease made around 13 delusions and i fell halucinated when this disease all this used to happen when this is in bad mode this i used to face earlier and maybe now a days too

    this disease is controlling me by how i think feel and act

    i think my mom and dad have plotted aginst me so that i will be damaged by this disease and i think they plotted me for this day since im 2 year old kid

    and i think so much i cant think about other important things in my life and i plan to protect myself from it

    sometimes when i explain about delusions are explained so badly so people wont understand them

    i cant block my enemies from facebook but instead have a good chat with them irl

    i do stupid things like i install unknown games and i waste my time in playing that i also tried to be a pro gamer but i failed

    i wave finger in air to form a cube and i do it like i have tourrete syndrome

    i also dont bath daily and i eat at night and i sleep at morning 4 am

    i also make very wierd smiling face sometimes

    i also see changing my usernames in various social accounts for no reason

    im also bored of doing various things in life like drawing, sketching, painting,playing indoors or outddor games, meeting new friends, having a job, getting into relationships, etc. and much more

  5. my friends, my office coleagues ask this question that do i have a girlfriend, i mean its really hard to get a girlfriend because every girl i ask to be with her she says she have boyfriend and then there are also types of girls who have boyfriends and they flirt with me and i don't be with those kind of girls because i might face breakup 

    those days when i was working  as data entry operator i had a girl as a friend and it was awkward to ask her phone number because i ask she will think that i want to sleep with her as she as she is hooker. and when i asked her name i couldnt hear it properly so i cant find her on social media

    when i was 9yrs old i used to go to my tution class and ther i met a preety girl she was my first crush but i never talked to her neither looked at her i once wrote her name on mountain with a chalk or something while the my other friends who were 20 years old writing thier girlfriend or crush names on the same mountian.

    i had 2 girls as crush in my days of school. at that time i was 12 years old, i tried to be with first one by following her from school to her home and her home comes in direct path way before my home comes but is far from my home and she knewed that, even my friends used to know that and her cousin brother too, i used to love her, we never used to talk  not even a word just understanding by looking at each other , after a year her cousin brother told me that she dates and sleeps with other guys( indian cops dont arrest people for underage people doing all those things because cops in india arrests people on bigger crimes like theft, M*****, bribery, theft .etc), so i shattered, i cried and i stopped loving her, i said in my heart that she will be happy where she is .

    i proposed another girl at that time i was 13 years old which is 2nd girl but the girl i proposed beat up with her pencil box and the same girl tried to say yes in mimic after 1 week but i replied in anger to her because at the same time my enemies in my school were arguing with me so she stopped looking to me and i was still loving her btw we never talked normally same like the 1st crush i had and i came to know that she also slept with a guy who is her friend and is midget 

    then a 3rd girl came in my life and at that time i was 15 years old and she used to like me but i dint talk to her because i am tired of making more flirting with girls

    then in collage some girls tried to talk to me but never talk to them much because i thought that i will talk to them after i pass collage which is standard 11th and standard 12th  but then i lost contact with them

    no that 2nd girl from my school never replied to me or talked to me on facebook and one day she blocked me on facebook now the 1st girl i said about heron my facebook that tell this girl to talk to me we had a conversation for first time and few years later we met on footpath and we had a chat and the next day she sent me a heart on facebook chat i sent her too but on same day she messaged me that go die somewhere to me for some reason i dont remeber 

    i tried to flirt with some of girls and they were from my school on facebook but they didnt reply

    thats all the reason why i am single till this day

  6. When my depression started, it was also the time i searched for a astrology website when i was surfing the internet. it included numerology, which is part of astrology and it tells us about how all planets rules a number and according to that how that affect my life, and all that astrology also was included in my depression series. everyday i used to see same kind of changes in how the world indirectly looked at me, and all this happened from 2013 to 2016 and it only happens form november to march included in those years

    later i thought that if i learn whole astrology they wont affect me, but later unknowingly to myself made my life exactly my astrology shown my life's aspects and the worst thing is  i see mood swings everyday or sometimes i experience noises or simple thing affecting me really badly which actually happens when my depression is triggered in bad mode

    i am also tired of being oversensitive and overthinking person

    even worst part is i cant end my life i tried suciding many times but i failed and now suciding is hopeless

    this depression wants to put me in worst condition of my life i cant say its hard to mention cause it controls my mind or feelings in a sarcastic way

    i also want to say sorry for my english if its bad with comas and

    im really a depression patient i wrote it cos everyone might doubt me that im not in depression beacuse of the earlier sentence

  7. Telling sentimental things to my dad talking bad or making joke on salman Khan or giving a 2 bad interview saying bad about facebook triggers my disease also arguing lot of people on facebook triggers my ocd or depression

    It just feels too bad

  8. Again worst part of my disease started it's been 6 time over 5 years I've suffered a lot this is 7 th time

    Plus I'm feeling anxiety and depression

    I'm also feeling some kind of physical problem after that day of blood. Check up and it feels so bad my mom and dad didn't took me to hospital that day

    Why should I write every thing in exact words or say it exact words isn't there any understanding?

    I'm also tired of writing so that it solves my problem and this is awkward

    I also feel like my disease restarted

  9. When I was playing NFS mw 2012 I liked the game and soon after few days my mom said that "you should stop Playing that game" I didnt listen to her but i think somehow I lost interest in that game same with my favourite music favourite art etc 

    I feel like others hack into my brain or I am manipulated even if my sun sign is leo

    Im half frustrated because of this

    I m also frustrated because of other people which are my mom dad my friends my social media people

    I'm even more frustrated because I also told to my mom and dad about depression forms and they maybe create problem for me unknowingly and they don't admit it

    I feel stupid because even after I'm aged 24 I shouldn't tell them like kids do tell Thier parents

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