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About Twinkle319

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  1. I dont know your story or where this came from - it just came up on my screen. 100% with you - I will never be able to accept it either
  2. I sort of relate to what you're saying. I've just registered here as well so finding my feet too, but I connected with some of your story so I decided to reply. Its horrible to pour your heart out and no one replies. Just echoes the lonliness even more. My life was fantastic until 9 months ago when someone done something to destroy me and carried on with the line of devastation. IT caused my depression and anxiety and put me in a dark place which I had never seen the likes of. Its these last 9 months that make me connect with your story. I had a business and was developing my skill set in an area I was passionate about. It now means nothing anymore. I enjoyed an active life, festivals, days out, holidays. It now means nothing anymore. I used to enjoy music and watching tv. It now means nothing anymore. In fact life means nothing anymore, although strictly speaking thats not true. It all reminds me of what I did have, what I should have. I've cancelled all my social media accounts as I cant bear to see other people living their life. I dont go out cos I cant bear to see other people living their life. I hate the sunny days - I should be living my life but thats gone. I can hear children playing in their gardens and dogs barking and each little noise is another stab at the life I dont have. LIke you I sit in my bed all day frustrated that I'm losing all this precious time that I should be 'living' but keeping the curtains closed and wishing the time would hurry up and go so that I can do what I have to do before I can die. This one person could change all of this, but I doubt that will happen. This game is destroy or be destroyed and I know how it ends. But yes, its all such a waste. I've lost 9 months, I've lost the rest of my life. For you, you have a family and people who at least try to talk to you even if you find that difficult. I can't advise you how to deal with that but know they care and maybe just one day a week make an effort to have one conversation. I have no one - literally no one. I haven't seen or spoken to another human being for 10 days now, and the last interaction was with a complete stranger when I had to speak to someone about filling in forms. When I die I wont be found, I wont be missed. I guess when I the rent hasn't been paid for a couple of months the bailiffs might find me on eviction day but thats about it. Even just one person who cares is a whole lot so try not to run away from that too far. The voice of experience here - nothing else matters.
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