I’ve never been on this page. I stumbled across it not to long ago so I thought I would let loose a little.
I’ve been in love with a boy for 6 years of my life and we have been together for almost 4 of those years in total. Sadly on and off. I have lost everything and he is all I have but recently I feel as if my depression has gotten ahold of my head worse than what I believed was possible. It’s just constant negative thoughts. I feel like nobody wants me here like everybody wants me dead. My dad and I have a bad relationship, it’s constant arguing and it just gets to me. I don’t have a mom, and I don’t have friends to lean on or spend time with. Recently I have gotten sent to a alternate school that has barely anybody there. I won’t graduate on time I am supposed to in about a year. I’m so far behind I feel like a failure and it sucks. And to go back on topic of my relationship it’s not the brightest. We argue and hurt each other. I haven’t been happy for months no matter how hard I try. I barely get to see him but when I do it makes me feel amazing. He’s done things in the past that have affected me as a person. And my thought process but my head always says “he’s human. It’s normal.” But I can’t help but hurt.
I have very bad separation anxiety. And I overreact I feel like I’m always such a bad girlfriend. My trust issues are off the walls and I just don’t feel like I’m good enough. He says he loves me and this and that. But I just don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to do.
I’ve always had family issues. My brother past away in 2014 and he was my best friend. Now I’m just kind of alone besides having my boyfriend. But if I lose him what do I do. Where do I go. I don’t have a job because I hate people. I don’t get along with people maybe because I’m an ***. I’ve talked to therapist but it just doesn’t seem to work. I’m lost. I’m so lost and it hurts.