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About Jennifermk32

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  1. I did it! I went to the baptism shaking a little and got through it!!!!
  2. I talked with my parents tonight and we are taking 2 cars in case I need to come back my dad has volunteered to bring me home since my husband is the godfather. So we have a contingency plan if I decide to go. My husband is trying to get me to just take things day by day and moment to moment. If I feel good enough to try on Saturday then great, if not it will be ok. I can do this and keep fighting!
  3. I am definitely hard on myself! I have always been my worst critic. Guess that needs some work too!
  4. I know in my heart the best thing for me would be to stay home and continue trying to make progress one little chore at a time but I really want to be there. I know I am running out of time so my depression and anxiety are running wild. I am embarrassed that I cannot handle something that should be simple. I feel like I am a huge failure.
  5. Well I was finally feeling myself....at least for a few days. Now I am back to being scared and wanting to hide in bed. Part of me thinks it is because of the travel involved this Saturday for the baptism where I am a godparent. I just dont think I am ready for that since I am still struggling with my normal routine and daily life. It is completely breaking my heart that I know I am.not ready for that. I feel like I am going backwards again. What do I do?
  6. Hi everyone! I am hanging in there! Things were going much better for a week and today I hit a roadblock and have been sad, broken, and miserable. I just want my life back!
  7. I am in my second week on wellbutrin SR I feel like it makes me lightheaded, jerky/twitchy, and more anxious or nervous. I am not a fan of this feeling. I am scared to try and drive.
  8. Thanks everyone! It is so freaking hard. I have not had an episode like this ever. After several extremely stressful months ( my therapy dog died, husbands grandpa passed, dealing with a narcissistic sister in law, mom having a hip replacement, my brother's wife leaving him, mother in law diagnosed with cancer, financial issues) plus getting super sick on top of all that I literally just snapped. So at therapy yesterday we made a plan to take things slow integrating back into my normal life. Of course I am not patient! He also said I had to do no contact with my brother and sister in law. I had to block them on social media and my phone right there in the office. I know it's for the best but hard to accept. They really hurt me and my husband along with his whole family so I have to try this. Like I said things have been rough....when it rains it pours
  9. They are being very kind given the situation. They know I am struggling and working my way back to normal. I am not driving thank God! I somehow need to figure out how to get moving mow that my health is improving. It helps knowing I am not alone! ❤
  10. They are being very kind given the situation. They know I am struggling and working my way back to normal. I am not driving thank God! I somehow need to figure out how to get moving mow that my health is improving.
  11. You are absolutely right! The word I use most is frustrated. I am frustrated I cant just snap out of it or be my normal self. After being in bed over a month I am very weak and basically having a mental breakdown I guess I should not be so hard on myself. I have gotten out of bed, been showing, doing a little laundry, trying to eat better, and stay calm. I am supposed to go to a baptism 2hrs away next Saturday and I am the Godparent. It is stressing me out that I may not be ready in time. I did talk to the parents and they will have someone stand in if needed but that breaks my heart too.
  12. So I am starting to come out if a major depression episode and feel lost. I am not sure where to start to get my life back. I want to get back into my routine but I feel weak and heavy, scared, and unsure. Is this normal? I just want to be happy again!
  13. Thanks everyone! I have my husband and my parents are close by too. I also talked with my psychiatrist last night and he is seeing me tomorrow to come up with a plan. I keep thinking I have been sick for so long that something more is wrong...lung cancer etc. Eventhough I had a chest x ray and a CBC. My white blood cell count was a little high but I guess that is my body fighting the infection. I did start doing small things. I get exhausted because I am so weak but I have to keep fighting!
  14. So I have been sick for a month. It started as the flu with a horrible cough, then went into bronchitis, and now bronchial pneumonia. I have become SEVERELY depressed because I have been sick for so long. Illness is a huge trigger for me. I am scared to leave the bed now that I am starting to feel better. I dont leave the bedroom. How do I get past my fears and get moving? Am I being too hard on myself? I am so impatient to feel like me again. Help!
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