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jesscat

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  1. jesscat

    New and Lonely

    Hi, I'm new to this forum. SO let me know if this is not the right place for this type of post. I just started going to therapy in november and Ive recently gone on medication for depression. I'm not sure my therapist is right for me, I seem to just kind of talk a lot but i'm not sure I'm talking about the right things, or I can't think of the right questions or I don't know. My big problem is I'm lonely. I'm new to an area and I've traveled for the last few years since leaving college and so a lot of the friends i've made have been made within small lengths of time and they are all long distance. my friends that i'm very close with are mostly far away and very busy and don't really check in with me a lot. I've always felt like i have trouble connecting with other people and as a result i'm almost always lonely. I feel wrong a lot, like what i'm doing is wrong, how i'm feeling, how i do the things i do. I'm always the weird one or the expendable friend in situations. i see friends who find it easy to talk to people and easy to make friends and i wonder how they do that. I wake up every day not wanting to continue going forward in life. I already feel a lot like i'm not going forward. it seems like no one really wants to be around me and i don't know what to do to fix it. I want a community of people to call family more than anything and i don't really have it and it doesn't seem like its going to materialize any time soon. and in the meantime i'm just stuck feeling lonely and like i'm a failure. I wake up majority of my days feeling like I'd rather not be here any more, and the feeling sticks around all day. I have a really hard time feeling joy or looking forward to anything. I really don't want to feel this way anymore. I just don't know how to stop.
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