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About Bree1234

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  • Birthday 09/02/1997

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    Music, singing, acting, reading, writing, nature photography, modeling.

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  1. This is awesome news! Prozac didn't work for me so I am glad someone is getting the benefits from it good to hear.
  2. The late evenings and night tend to be the worst for me. I also get anxiety when trying to get to sleep, like I will have flash backs of things that haunt me. I am glad the medication I am on has a sedative effect lol
  3. Thank you - Its nice too meet you I plan on sticking around. You all seem like such lovely people. It's nice too see.
  4. I was okay yesterday, thank you -had a bit of a down moment but it has passed. Lately I have been sleeping too much. Some days I just want to sleep and not get up. But today is a new day so we shall see what it brings
  5. Thank you for the welcome Seems like a helpful community.
  6. Thank you so much x Yeah I talk to a counselor and also a psychiatrist Just needed to find the right one. Sending hugs back, again thank you heaps !
  7. Bree1234

    What am I to do?

    Hey there. I am so sorry that you feel this way. I always feel that everyone is distrusting and eventually going to hurt or leave me. I constantly question my sanity and weather or not I am a good person. You are not alone and I can assure you that you are not devil himself. Most people who haven't had or experienced mental issues will never have any idea just how hard it is to wake up of a morning. If you can even think of one reason to do that, please cling to it. I am so sorry that I cannot give you better advice. Just know that we are all here for you.
  8. Oooh, I love Folk music. I am a big indie music fan. I just love the way good music makes you feel. Gives you tingles and you feel it in your soul and bones. Like it almost resonates through you. I don't know lol I am a big weirdo haha
  9. Hey its nice to meet you, thank you so much for the advice When I talk to people I tend not to make any eye contact lol it makes me panic if I look into their eyes for too long. My hubby and I try to get out but having a grumpy teething bub has been hard. She usually sleeps on us during the day and only sleeps in her bassinet of a night. We have tried to train her to sleep alone during the day but it hasn't worked. We are also too anxious to let someone baby sit her, we are not comfortable with someone doing that. But we do go out and do grocery shopping with her and go to appointments. So a bpd episode is basically a borderline personality disorder episode when I have anger outbursts crying, feeling insecure and suicidal and my brain tends to "switch" I basically change personalities and hate my husband and become suspicious of him. The guilt that comes after said episode is the hardest because I love my husband but my brain tells me otherwise. It's a complicated disorder. Us borderlines tend to have black and white thinking and we have trouble regulating emotions. Trust me I don't wish to rely heavily on my husband. Sometimes I even beg him not to help but because he's a loving person he gives his support fully to me. He's the kind of person that puts others before himself - I love that about him, even though he needs to think of himself more. Because I am so sick, he has no choice but to look after us. That's why I try to hard to be there when I can. Thank you! I appreciate that there are people here helping others, I also love helping people. Especially when I can relate to their hardships.
  10. Hey there guys my name is Bree, I am 21 and currently happily married and have a 7 month old daughter. I suffer from Anxiety, Depression, PTSD and Borderline personality disorder. I recently have been really suicidal and my husband is worried about me. I have started a new medication and got off another one so we aren't sure if the suicidal thoughts are from that. I just want to say hello to all other sufferers and want you to know you are not alone. There are people who care out there. I don't really have any friends. My husband is my main support person and only support person as I don't speak to my family members. Because of my social anxiety and BPD, I don't work and my husband is my full time carer which I am so grateful for! We look after our bub at home and try to get through day to day life. Life is great when I am not depressed or anxious or suffering from a bpd episode. Those are the darkest times when I have to remember not to give up. Having good times and bad then good is hard because you have hope, faith and happiness then it gets taken away over and over and over again.
  11. 3rd day on Cymbalta and I have also been getting headaches, they tend to go away on their own. Also feeling very tired, but I am also on 50mgs of Seraquel.
  12. Borderline Personality Disorder as well as anxiety and depression have taken over my life. I am 21 married with a 7 month old. It is often very chaotic in my household the other half of the time it is so blissful and you can feel the deep chemistry between my husband and I. We believe in soul mates (judge is you will , lol) We love our daughter to death. That is the hardest thing for me - the guilt of having this disorder and showing my family "the other side" of me. I am always ashamed of my actions. Two years ago after a failed suicide attempt I was diagnosed with bpd. I had trouble understanding exactly what it was so I did some research. I still don't understand some parts of it but I seem to understand much better now. I have a majority of the symtoms, they have worsened over two years I would say. I had a few signs as a child and teen but not enough to fit the full criteria until now. Let me tell you it has been a hard road, only now I am getting the proper help. I have been put on Seraquel and Cymbolta, the cymbotla is more for anxiety and depression and the Seraquel is more for the bpd symptoms. My marriage to my husband is often described as unique and beautiful, we share and profound bound to each other that is unlike anything I have ever experienced. When I have my episodes it is hard on both of us. I have rage issues and I say and do hurtful things. Somehow he is still here. I am so grateful for his love and protection of me. Relationships with borderline can be very difficult and draining but not impossible. If you have the love and support you need you will get through it. I often have unresolved feelings towards my family who I no longer speak to or interact with. My family were very abusive and not supportive of me. My older brother used to beat me every time I said something wrong. I am afraid of turning into him because when my husband says something I take it personally or misconstrue it and just snap...the shame and guilt afterwards is unbearable. I just feel so damn trapped. Getting help takes so long and I can't afford to do any more damage. Ever since I have been diagnosed it all makes sense, my inappropriate anger towards small things, certain behaviours and insecurities that I have. I am on my second day of cymbotla so I am hoping that will help with the anxiety and depression so I can focus on working on the bpd alone. Not sure if cymbolta helps with bpd but Seraquel does so we have increased my dose from 25 to 50mgs then maybe up to 100mgs and see how that goes in conjuntion with DBT.
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