this is my first post on here, I have only just joined.
You actually prompted me to sign up just so I could reply to you. I’ve always been a reader of the forums till now.
I’m glad to see you have had a couple of lovely replies already. I’ve struggled with depression since my teenage years which was a long time ago now and I am now a mum to two grown up children.
Sometimes and even at my age you just want your parents to get you, make you feel safe and to reassure you. I still look for that now and even though I know my parents love me they just don’t connect with that vulnerability in me.
I suppose I have only just learned to stop seeking their understanding and it may even be painful for them to see I have my issues. The energy I spent on them is better spent on me. I don’t mean to sound harsh on them, I love them dearly but I now just do normal stuff and have normal conversations with them rather than getting upset or too emotional when they are not understanding my mental health.
From being a parent my point of view is that I can find myself being disappointed in my children when they don’t do something to my standard and if I make them feel inadequate I feel guilty. It is not my intention, ever. I am realising that disappointments I have in them are actually disappointments I have in myself and by berating them I (wrongly) think I am protecting them from other people looking down on them in the future.
Anyway I just wanted to reach out to you, you seem to have some good self awareness at such a young age. You should be proud of that and who you are.