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Blog Comments posted by Tears_Always

  1. @Soarsie18 I know that for me it will be a very long time if ever that my life has more than little snatchs of joy. The loss of my Wicket broke a major part of me. He was my shield against the world, my comfort, and my child the hole that he has left is deep and wide, but my mask is coming back in place and I will pretend.

  2. @Soarsie18

    Hun you already hit the nail on the head depression is an illness, it is not something you choose.

    I become depressed in my 20s and didn't get any help until I over 25. Then for the next 9 years I was okay. In 2009 my father passed from cancer less than 6 months from diagnosis. And so started my slow downward spiral. 2012  October my boss whom I was quite close to got sick for 3 months he tried to find out what it was, finally found out it was advanced pneumonia and he died in hospital. It was also at this time (end of November) that my Wicket came into my life to bring some comfort, but the emotions  were down again and medications were adjusted. December 2012 my Grandmother passes. Wicket starts his role as my emotional stabilizer. 2016 lose my Owen to thyroid cancer and pull closer to Wicket. End of 2016 Wicket starts having medical issues. By September 2018 Wicket and I are totally bonded and caring for each other. January 25, 2019 my world falls apart when Wicket dies. From January 25th onward deep depression returns and my life has become meaningless. The one being that was holding me together is gone. April 2019 my mask is mostly back in place and people think I am fine, even though everyday I am dying and crying inside.  

    The point I am trying to make here is you can't choose when depression happens and you don't always know when it is building or what or who is heling to keep it at bay, you can only keep moving forward.

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