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About Tears_Always

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    Senior Member
  • Birthday August 3

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    not sure I have any

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  1. I am guessing they are a typical counselor and it is all your fault and whatever else... sorry that is happening, nothing you can do about them but please just keep letting your kids know you would like to be a part of their life, even if you can't be.
  2. Go back to bed, the heck with the week, it is time for you to rest.
  3. Well I am going to bed, not that it matters I will lay there for a bit and finally cry myself to sleep, wake-up tried slog through another day and do it all over again and again....
  4. Hugs Mark, I so wish that we could offer more than words.
  5. @RiverLight it is time for you to go to the CEO, be honest with yourself you have said many times that it is your direct boss that is the problem and that the job isn't worth keeping with him in charge. DO something about it, you have done a lot of great work recently so let it out. Get a meeting with CEO and use an approach like you are concerned that credit is not being given were it is due and that because of this the wrong people may be given assignments or asked to assist in things they know nothing about, if you know of anyone else this is happening to bring it up as well. To me it sounds like either he goes or you do so what's it going to be? Good Luck.
  6. So found out tonight that I was ghosted by yet another person who I thought was a friend. I must be such an awful person that I cannot even keep online friends. I just wish that someone would tell me what it is that is so wrong with me that no one wants me around. I really have to stop trying I am so stupid. I just can't get it through my head that people are only interested in me when I can do something for them, and as soon as I start to believe in them and myself I am alone again. The world is such an awful place with me in it why do I have to be here. Everyday is just more pain. What is so wrong with me why am I so broken.
  7. Tried haven't slept well since January and it is catching up with me big time. My eyes hurt from the tears I always have in them. Lonely and lone because I always am. I want to know why I wake-up everyday. I read though everyone's posts and in my mind I say so much, but I just don't have the energy to actually write, so I add that to what I feel bad about.
  8. I am so sorry yet happy Mark (crying as I type, the fact that you are giving up Spot makes this so real for me). I am so glad that people are interesting in taking him. He is a wonderful kitty and your photos have captured him so well. I hope that you either gave it all to the clinic manager and told him were he belongs or hung up on him, or either way just didn't let him get to you. I am guessing you were polite and listened to his lies. Sending you hugs Mark.
  9. I stopped stopping in there cause I could never find anyone there 😞
  10. Nope no one does, least of all you, you played by the rules that were given to you and they bit you, they seem to do that. You had a life, a family (yes fur kids count, and they turn out better than most kids these days), and a home. You got sick, you could not get the help that was needed and like so many others lost everything. no I guess no one will there are many of us that would like to but none are physically close enough. No we do not understand we are not you and can only guess and read what you have said, but we care - I just wish that was enough. Sorry just can't see how you failed... by catching a disease you didn't know was out there? By living longer than they thought you would? By sharing your life at least here and making such a big difference in our lives? People here have said you have saved their lives that seems like a big achievement to me (this is not a place were people are likely to lie about that). I cannot see how you need redemption - you have simply lived your life and tried to help others, I have never seen anything that says you have tried to hurt or harm others. I have said this before but maybe if you hear it again it might stay for a minute - your honesty and truths here have made many of us look on our own lives and evaluate just were we are. You have fought and then fought some more (your body and sole is tried, and for this I cry). You were a trail blazer when it could have easily meant death to you - you are brave and have been mentally so strong. I understand that you are tried, hurt, and full of despair - I can't change this (no matter how much I wish I could). I have advice I would like to share and I am keeping my mouth shut. All I can finish with is that while I may not totally get how you feel - I do have a bit of a clue of how tried you are - because I feel exhausted and I have not faced half of what you have, so I can only assume the weight there is close to unbearable. I do not want to see you enter into the never ending sleep, but I can understand why you feel the call so strongly and why it has such great allure. Hugs Mark.
  11. If you really believe that he is keeping the kids from you can you not go to court? I am sorry you have to deal with this.
  12. @MarkintheDark like everyone else I wish I had the words to make it better and I wish the world cared. You have questioned many times if the move was worth it, perhaps it is time to say forget it. You have your plan and know that you have a few days instead of trying to go on as normal is it time for you to enjoy your last little bit? I am not offering advice but something for you to consider. You already know I think the world will be dimmer without you and that even though we cannot be there in person you mean a lot to so many of us. It is time for you to do for yourself and hopefully find all that you seek.
  13. hugs, I can't understand and I won't pretend to, but I do hurt very much for your situation.
  14. Had a migraine all weekend and woke up this morning with swollen glands on the back of my neck and really tried. Didn't get much done at work, even fell asleep at one point not good, skipped my lunch walk for a nap. Didn't catch-up with any online friends tonight so a bit sad and lonely.
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