Tears_Always

Still wasn't feeling great this morning so didn't go to work. Wish I could crawl in to bed and never get out, or better yet never wake again. (I would never be so lucky.) Will go to work tomorrow but not really sure what the point is...

If you don't post it here where can you?

I never understand that, I don't drink coffee but I do color (sometimes) much more useful item either way.

Didn't go in to work today headache was too close to migraine territory to risk it. Instead took a bunch of painkillers and slept til noon. Took more meds and had a nap mid-afternoon. More painkillers before bed and hopefully it will go away in the night.

Still have a headache it is a low ache with pills, so maybe it won't move over to migraine. Feeling sad, Lonely and sorry for myself. Going to cry myself to sleep and then face another day and repeat the cycle.

Monday is done didn't do much of what I should have at work. Had a headache all day pills don't seem to be touching it worried it will develop into a migraine.

Sitting here Wishing that virtual hugs had substance I miss physical affection so much.

I hear you for me everyday is alone and lonely, I often feel that I am existing on some other plane than everyone else. It does not seem to matter what I do I am unable to connect with anyone else. when people talk about friends here I feel jealous that they have such things and I do not.

My worry there is that the body would remain and at some point the mind/ soul or whatever would come back for a visit and be trapped or that you cannot truly move on even if it is to nothingness until the body goes.

I see two splats on the road or the tracks.

Another week gone they just seem to blend and flow from one to the next. There are days of numbness and days of pain and every day ends the same with me crying myself to sleep.

@Soarsie18 sorry to tell you vet school will have exams too. But enjoy your break and time off.

Was hoping it would be a good day today, not so much... the Director at work who has been working with me to further my career and actually cared about his people was fired yesterday. None of us saw it coming especially him. This is the 2nd Director I have seen fired in 2 years from the organization that I knew personally. With him gone my chances of moving forward now have gone fairly close to zero. Does anyone know how to go about finding a new job these days? I am not likely to lose my job for another year or so as we are merging into the organization that keeps firing people, but I don't see them having a lot of use for me. Why is it always just one more thing?

me too, I think you need to speak to doc again

Empty might be the best word or maybe neutral, before my life fell apart in January I was thinking that I deserved more than moments of fleeting happiness that I only got from him. Since then I think I have come to understand that if I am lucky I will have moments of happiness, but mostly that I should just be content when I am not crying and in the depth of despair. I have also come to accept that my shoulder will never completely heal right and that I am going to have some pain in it for the rest of my life. If I didn't wake in the morning maybe then I would be okay.