Tears_Always

I am sorry

one day at a time, perhaps go pick some dandelions for your bunnies they would love that and it counts as making the lawn look good. I miss my bunny, he was my reason to be.

Well going to add my two bits or so here 1) college \ university has very little to do with intelligence especially when it comes to getting in (it is all about memorization) If you are using that as your measure of intelligence don't 2) you may not have a degree but it seems to me that you do very well in the realm of metaphysics, it is an place that you touch on a lot in your posts perhaps if you want that degree that is a path worth looking at, but do not confine yourself to traditional brick schools, there is a world on line use it. I could go on about the number of jobs I have had or the fact that like you no one thinks anything is wrong when I am at work and not trapped in my own mind but you have heard it all before....

@barbh0420 hope it all worked out.

One thing I would suggest is that if you are truly trying to live second to second right now, then as soon as a negative thought come in shake it out. You have no need to keep those. I sometime physically shake my head, but have also been using a mantra, it is not much help for you because it deals with the guilt that I feel but what I say is "I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you" at least for me it deals with the apin and guilt in that second. Hugs

I am glad that you are seeing the doc, I hope that you can get some help. Please post it helps a lot.

Try and put myself back together....

I have yet to see you write badly, just remember no slang, no shortcuts, keep it to the point, and answer any questions asked the best you can.

If that is what is keeping you going then hang on tight. I know it is hard to see but you have taken steps in the right direction, a new therapist is a great one. Get through it second by second if that is what it take. Hugs

I see food and gain weight I am sure that I don't have to eat it to gain. I wish depression made me not want to eat, it is eating or sleeping that are my main wants.

Spent some of my lunch in the bathroom crying. Find myself thinking about going to sit outside without a jacket on (it is -48 out there) and that maybe I would just go to sleep and that would be it. I am tried of feeling I am never good enough, tried of not mattering to anyone, and I am tried of pretending to be "okay".

Really irritable today, but also swinging to wanting to break down and cry. Cried myself to sleep last night.

Very few females actually have ADHD so I would say that it is very unlikely.

Just goes to show how much he cared and understood people. That is quite something to have friend that looked out for you even after you are gone. hugs

Mark knew what was out there to help him, he just got stonewalled by a system that is there to look good and do nothing, and people who were only looking at the bottom line not the people. As long as people are seen as expenses in Healthcare and employment they will be under valued and abused.