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About ed1

  • Birthday May 29

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    Helena, Montana
  • Interests
    Movies, books, music (rap, rock, pop, classical, jazz...), writing, hiking and backpacking, travelling

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  1. Ever since I can remember, I've tried therapists after therapists. I wasn't a particularly challenged child and didn't require actual help if it wasn't for my older sister. First of all, in a typical childish fashion , I wanted to do everything my sister (older by 3 and a half-years) did, including seeing a therapist. Little did I know, she suffered (and still does, albeit she is doing much better now) from major anxiety issues. Her anxiety affected her behaviour towards me and others, but also the attention she received from my parents, especially my mom, who for obvious reasons spent more time with her then me, the youngest child. But the main reasons I went to see so many therapists was because at the age of 7, I got diagnosed as 'gifted'. Trapping me inside a category, I couldn't escape and had to act the part. All the psychologists I saw thought me a happy and bright child, if only a bit sad at times, a sadness that could be due to my sister's unfair treatment towards me. As years continued, I continued seeing therapists, trying to pin down reasons on the constant sadness and anguish I'd feel. It's been a year since I've seen somebody. I don't want to hear the same BS again and again. I've realised I'm the problem. I have my 'down' periods, occurring usually during the summer because of the loss of routine caused by the end of the school year, but I've been feeling very down for the past couple of days. Sluggish, tired, irritable, loss of appetite, you name it. I know how to deal but it's been a long time since I've felt so bad and hopeless. To end this, I'd like to say therapy did wonders for a number of people who had much 'worse' cases than me. I'm not trying to say therapy doesn't work, I'm just saying that for some reason, I've always been resistant to it. As of right now, I feel hopeless but posting does make me feel a little bit better. Good luck everybody for everything you have or are going through.
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