Jump to content

FerryJerry

Junior Member
  • Content Count

    35
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About FerryJerry

  • Rank
    Newbie

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. I keep feeling ill and exhausted and people keep treating me badly and I just don’t want to be in this world anymore, I am struggling to get help Today I went for a walk and got back and was so exhausted, my partner was fed up so was I because the cat did a poop on the carpet again and I refused to help because A: I was in so much agony with my joints that getting up and down was agony and B: I told her if she wants to keep that cat that keeps messing the carpet she’s gonna take care of it. I ended up going to sleep with no dinner because of it, half the time I can’t sleep and end up only getting to sleep after I take drugs and pass out, but that’s my life, I’m not coping any other way i think this is a good as my life is going to get and I just waiting for something in my body to give up so I can leave this messed up world, I don’t believe I was ever meant to be here, I was an accident and I stumbled through life barely making it through. I’m fed up of fighting and all the battles I have ongoing i look across the sea and I see an Island and I wish I could flee there and live on the Island to live out the remainder of my days away from everything Maybe one day I will find my way out people keep saying aww those cats look so happy and I just think I am glad they are happy but I’m never happy and I’ve been searching for happiness since I was a teenager many years ago, all I found was violence, abuse and people screwing me over and every day I am in agony with my joints and I keep having many issues with my stomach and I think to myself when’s it gonna end in order to get better I need exercise but exercise causes me to hurt and feel exhausted for days after, I don’t want to try the experimental operation where they saw my bones in half and recast them as there is no guarantees it will make any improvements according to the doctors, I needed help for my knees when I was a child and no one got me any medical Help so they became twisted and now they hurt me so bad
  2. I didn’t sleep last night so I woke up and had a tummy upset then I got a text message to say look on Facebook and that’s is how I found out dad is engaged to his new girlfriend he has known for less than a year he asked me for mums ring but I said no I am super super pist off, I expect that everyone else got phone calls me just a text to say look ok Facebook Mall I know is that I’ve just a really bad panic attack because of it and feel low
  3. This week has been dire and its left me feeling so darn low My dad texted me and he gave my mum's things when she died years ago and in my text my dad asked for the ring back and it was not even a nice way he did it he said Hey Son know your grandmas vases they are worth £1400 he said that they need repairing and he would swap them for the ring, no reasons or explanations just straight out hey how are you want to swap for your grandmas vases that were my mum's it hurt me to be honest, mum loved her rings she loved her things and all he did when she died was sell everything off and give it away and I am just really really upset and offended, these rings meant a lot to me and they were my grandmas. Today someone nasty got my face book account banned by claiming that my profile is fake when its not and I had two years of game saves and data on that account which also upset me a great deal and I lost my therapist so I got no one to talk to and my new therapy is months away but the nhs cant be trusted to be fully open with as they record everything you say like data miners and store it forever Iv'e had enough of life and being alive and the thought of what happens after I die scares me because I don't believe I am a good person my thoughts tell me that all the time and that I am just fooling everyone. I keep coming across some right nasty abusive people and I just don't want to know people anymore, these cats of mine never treat me like dirt, maybe they some times scratch and bite and trash the house but its not done out of malice and what you see if what you get, that is why I love animals better than I do people because they are not two faced or evil they are pure. I would like to take off across the countryside in to the wilderness and never look back, never go back I can only imagine that my father wants this ring because he is broke like I am broke and he wants an engagement ring for his new girlfriend but in stead of telling me he keeps it from me and I am hurt, I know he has no sentimental value the ring means nothing to him because like all mum's stuff and our stuff growing up he just sold it off or gave it away, he did not even say "Look Son mum's ring means a lot to me, I want to have it because its dear to me" non of that just here's some vases they are worth money look, you can sell em and I will swap the ring for them. When I declined he was like "OK I understand, I will give the vases to your cousins so we can keep them in the family" and he knew very well that those vases mean naff all to him because he tried to sell them for the last year or so and he can't he was told that they need to be restored and being restored costs money and he doesn't have money, neither do I, everything that comes in goes on food and bills and even then isn't enough for a basic life style. I don't care if dad does anything because I won't swap the ring, he cant do anything worse to me then the loss of my kin and mum because I am dead inside and badly broken so much that the thought of my own demise doesn't worry me anymore because if I die then I don't have to suffer anymore. I got dead lines and chores I got to do but I am struggling because I feel in a really bad place right now. I talked to my friends and relatives on facebook and asked no one to tell my dad what I said and some one has gone to dad and told him because he was like "morning I hope you feel better today" I never told I wasn't OK, I only said online" you see my problem here? Deep down I don't feel like my dad gives a dam about me because he keeps saying he will help or do things and then he lets me down time and time again and never does what he says he will do but when he wants something, its a different story and I am just really hurt.
  4. I still have my kitten, I was mislead by the cat people they placed a private advert as a private person and they claimed the cats were in reading and that it was just one kitten then one kitten became one kitten and a mother cat and they said that they where bribing them from Reading to Glasgow and have me an address in Glasgow on the day I got a strange message to say on a flight and that the cats hated being in pet carriers and to wish them luck, then I got a strange message to say that they where in a taxi and 14 hours passed, midnight came and then there was a knock on the door and they had brought the cats here and the first thing they did was run under the bed scared the cats and they stayed there for over a week and I had to put the cat litter by the bed and the food and drink etc when I looked on the pet pack it said that they had a flight from Dubai to Heathrow airport and listed the names and addresses of the people responsible I am angry and hurt, I didn’t sleep last night for crying and panic attack’s and I am going to sue them because they can’t get away with it or they will keep doing it We got in this situation because A) I went to people I thought I could trust for cats, B)my fiancé wanted a third cat and she’s hardly wanted to know it, I am the one babysitting it all the time and it’s bonded to me and I love it but I didn’t think it was a good idea in the first place but I am looking after kitten and focusing on her now. She’s cute and shows a lot of love and affection and is a happy little baby. those cat people have gotten to me so much that I got a book on magic to use on those horrible people in case all else fails. Maybe others can forgive but I can’t forgive everyone, some people hurt me so deeply that I can never forgive or forget i don’t see how they should be bringing feral cats in to the UK i am glad we have kitten she’s cuddled up on my lap and is fast sleep and looks like she’s smiling
  5. Those people who sold me the cats harassed me and harassed me and threatened me and blackmailed me until I gave in and gave them the cats back, they refused to give me my money back, so I didn’t give in, I called the cat protection league and gave them away, the cats attacked our new kitten and they attacked me as they were feral ( a few weeks back I posted because one sent me to hospital) not only did I have to catch them on my own and got badly hurt again I had to watch as they were crying and being carried away I am destroyed and I had to speak to cat protection agency while receiving a flood of abuse from the ex owners and threats and the house got trashed why trying to catch the cats and I cried my eyes out and It hurts me we had the cats for 10 weeks, they were sold to us as tame for £200 each IE £400 and it’s not the money it’s the fact that those cats were happy here but we couldn’t get them to the vet (they wouldn’t go in a pet pack) and we were told that if we didn’t take them they would get the police and the rspca I am conflicted inside and torn apart and deeply hurt and angry and I am going after them in court for breach of contract, misrepresentation and copyright theft as they stole my photos and plastered them all over the internet to advertise their other cats I've had enough of people I have had enough of taking things laying down I am going to bury them in legal proceedings then name and shame them all those cats wanted was to be safe, they didn’t need the vets over a healed cat scratch from where they were play fighting and I feel this rage inside that won’t go away I need your support more then ever as I am broken in to pieces and torn apart and can’t stop crying
  6. I spent ages yesterday doing the chores and then cat sitting and every waking hour I have to cat sit to keep the new kitten safe from the other cats at they hiss and growl at her and at night we have to separate them I said to my partner I didn’t think getting another cat was a good idea, but it so happens I have really taken to the new kitten and love her dearly but what’s difficult is the fact that the older cat won’t even go near her so they won’t eat or drink or use the litter tray in the living room despite the door being closed and no kitten in that room, now good old honey dearest wants to put a litter tray, food and water in the bedroom and obviously the cats come first but it’s gonna smell bad after they poop I am finding it all exhausting and stressful, I crashed out at 11 last night and only just woke up then smashed my head on the door on the way to the bathroom, when I enter the bathroom the cats always are very vocal and try to get under the door as they want to get in to the bathroom for some reason. Last night I kept having nightmares too
  7. I do want to complain but I've got the cat booked in to the vet to check our the scars she has a they where on her when she arrived here. They look like cat scratches but just to be safe I am going to get them looked at Then I will go after the cat people in terms of the ombudsman I hardly slept last night because of the stress but I am sat here and the kittens fast asleep on my lap she's tired herself out from playing all morning If the vet says that the scars were causes by the previous owners then I will take the report to the RSPCA too the cat people lied to me and said the cats were in the UK when they were in Dubai and I think they bulk fly them here and then sell them for several hundred each and I don't believe they are registered looking at it now and I don't think they are paying tax either but I got their uk address now and might issue legal proceedings out of principle
  8. I have endured two days of abuse from the cat adoption people you see I agree that I would keep them updated as part of the adoption agreement and we got a new kitten from elsewhere and the new cats kept hissing and growling so I asked them for advice and they flipped out and said that the cats we adopted are not good with other cats they got more and more nasty and then demanded we give the cats back, when I refused they abused us of animal abuse and threatened to call the RSPCA, and then they started to make fun of our small house and called me names a switch flipped in my head and I just got mad and told them to F off basically things are going to get nasty and I can do nasty but my main concern is for the cats all I did was ask these people for advice and then they went off their rails and they won’t tell me who the manager of the org is and they won’t tell me their UK registered business address. So we might get the rspca or even the police visit if we refuse them entry and I’ve had enough I’ve done nothing, I am enraged for being falsely accused of animal abuse when I love animals more than people and I look after them batter than I do myself. I never have and never would harm a animal because if the cat people I lost sleep, got so stressed that I have severe headaches, panic attacks and can’t sleep and on top of that cats to look after. Come Tuesday I will send them a legal letter to the address on the cat passports and I am going to sue them for libel, harassment and personal injury as their cat attacked me and put me in hospital last month since the cat seems to be feral I will get them under contract law I just don’t need all of this bs or stress in my life and the rspca known for taking away innocent pets and then putting them to sleep I will defend my cats until I take my last breathe
  9. I can’t cope with other people and I can’t cope with my own emotions and my ptsd is ruining everything i am bitter angry and twisted and hate myself and it’s impacting my relationship I can’t cope anymore, the cats are driving me mad and I am sitting here angry really livid they keep trashing the house, they are wild and out of control tonight they tried to trash my stuff by chewing and scratching it, it was safe in a wood bowl and they climbed up and knocked it over and proceeded to chew and scratch my stuff and I asked my partner for help, because everything was falling down and she wouldn’t so I grabbed the pot of cream and threw it on the floor and it hit her tablet and smashed it I wasn’t even aiming for anything i gave her my tablet and tried to set it up, it’s identical but that’s not good enough I've had a bad few weeks and I’ve not slept because of the upset of others mistreating me, it’s like my father he keeps promising to come over and then never does he is too busy running off with his girlfriend and I just don’t want to know anymore i don’t want to be alive anymore because of this growing rage inside, I don’t think I will ever find any peace and I bet you when I die I go somewhere where my soul is tormented forever i don’t have any control over my life and I would like it to be over, I don’t want to be around people anymore I shouldn’t be upset and angry and bitter I can’t handle my feelings, I never used to be this weak and pathetic
  10. She’s defiantly fired, she tried to change my mind but I said sorry no, I requested that she delete all communications she has from me. its difficult but I have principles and I stick to them. I am struggling a lot and getting support isn’t easy but one day I will find some peace I just got to figure out what I want to do with my life and try to make it happen, I see stores of people who live on a bus in the middle of the woods and I wish I could do that, just get away from everybody and everything and live in peace just switch off and look up at the stars at night, away from all of the things that grind me down, from being harassed to the responsibilities that go with day to day life, as children we never knew what lies ahead and what adulthood brings. Those days and the days before school were the happiest days of my life and now I struggle to find any happiness and I am just exhausted. the fees in most counties be it Europe, America the fees for therapy are high and if you got a low income you struggle its like my last bill was several hundred and that’s put me in hardship, it’s going to take me two or three months to recover from that last fee, but what really gets to me is that other people made me this sick and I can’t function very well and it’s me to has to pay to get treatment for things others did to me and I tried to sue them but my lawyer messed it up and now I’ve got to sue my lawyer and I don’t know if I will ever get anywhere. easter this year was waiting until today and raiding the discount section to get Easter treats. I know there are others worse off and I should be great full for what I have. Life doesn’t seem fair. It’s like I took our stray cats in and feed and look after them well and they are happy but the second I go to eat they try to get in my food and keep pestering me for my food even though it’s not good for them because cats can’t have dairy and onions, chilli, garlic and that’s the stuff I eat, it’s not that they are hungry or need food but it gets me down too and as soon as I’ve eaten it I can guarantee they go away and don’t want to know.
  11. I’ve not felt well for a few days now and I fired my therapist because she has been awful lately, she let other people read my messages and then she ignores me so I’ve fired her and also considering reporting her for beaching confidentiality. If I do then it could ruin her career because if patients can’t have confidentiality then it’s a big thing. so yeah no therapist, no money for a new therapist as old one reduced their rates and just not feeling well. I tried to play games but it won’t connect today for some reason, maybe the server is busy i needed more sleep but the cats wanted to sleep on the bed and decided to lay on my legs and they are heavy so I didn’t get back to sleep my dad hardly wants to talk since he got his new girlfriend and I just feel isolated, I tried working on my website for a while, I get traffic and people appreciate the tutorials I make but I write articles on privacy to help others as your average user doesn’t know much about online privacy, most people a quick search reveals a lot about them but if my name goes in to whitepages or people searches nothing ever comes up because I am good with privacy and also there are a lot of bullies out there online and trolls and social media has become like the Wild West where anything seems to go these days, so I write articles.
  12. At 1am last night I get a series of strange emails and text messages from my old therapist claiming to be from her room mate and it said that she went missing and that she was worried and had contacted the police so I contacted the police too, I contacted her work place and then I just didn’t sleep because I care about her as I do with all people I know. i stayed awake until 9am called her work place and they didn’t seem to know anything and then about an hour ago I get a message to say that she’s ok and just got lost. Apparently she didn’t take her phone with her and bag or anything. im glad she’s ok but her phone is her phone she uses for work and therapy. Her friend contacted me by email, text and WhatsApp and I image she holds a lot of people’s confidential and personal information on that phone as that is where we would talk about issues and It really concerns me that other people could read her stuff and use her phone, the friend obviously read her emails etc to get my contact information to contact me in the middle of the night and that worried me and as you can imagine when you have a therapist you have an understanding that what you say is confidential and given that we still talk from time to time about issues I don’t know what to do. i consider her a friend so I don’t want to report my concerns to anybody but at the same time I don’t know what to do in terms of talking to her about this but I am no longer sure if I want to continue talking when I can’t trust confidentiality. I am not sure if I still want her to process my information if anyone can go through her phone like that. what should I do and am I being unreasonable ? Jerry
  13. At 1am last night I get a series of strange emails and text messages from my old therapist claiming to be from her room mate and it said that she went missing and that she was worried and had contacted the police so I contacted the police too, I contacted her work place and then I just didn’t sleep because I care about her as I do with all people I know. i stayed awake until 9am called her work place and they didn’t seem to know anything and then about an hour ago I get a message to say that she’s ok and just got lost. Apparently she didn’t take her phone with her and bag or anything. im glad she’s ok but her phone is her phone she uses for work and therapy. Her friend contacted me by email, text and WhatsApp and I image she holds a lot of people’s confidential and personal information on that phone as that is where we would talk about issues and It really concerns me that other people could read her stuff and use her phone, the friend obviously read her emails etc to get my contact information to contact me in the middle of the night and that worried me and as you can imagine when you have a therapist you have an understanding that what you say is confidential and given that we still talk from time to time about issues I don’t know what to do. i consider her a friend so I don’t want to report my concerns to anybody but at the same time I don’t know what to do in terms of talking to her about this but I am no longer sure if I want to continue talking when I can’t trust confidentiality. I am not sure if I still want her to process my information if anyone can go through her phone like that. what should I do and am I being unreasonable ? Jerry
  14. It was very unfair and I am Injustice the worst part is I tracked the records down the school records and basically the school tried to cover up when my dad threatened to go after them for bullying that took place, my records went missing and in place was a libel letter which was just down right nasty and abusive and accused me and my parents of all sorts of things and he fast claimed that they got social services to visit us, My dad he says that never happened and it was a cover up by the school, I am going to request my personal files from social services and I bet there are not any because my parents are good parents. i am just disgusted when I read that file and it’s left me in a totally wreck and I am having to fight to get my records put right but this having an impact on me, I keep hearing my heart pounding loudly every time I get upset the truth is I was sexually abused as a child, bullied at school and then took out of school and left with no prospects and actions of vile people like the school and this psych they don’t realise what damage and harm they are doing
  15. I agree with you 100% and that is a good point I will put that in my complaint, thank you
×
×
  • Create New...