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nojoy

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  1. Like
    nojoy reacted to sober4life in feeling ok is not enough   
    I've always felt like a piece is missing from the puzzle that is me.  At this point I feel like there is about one piece left and even that has been gnawed on and chewed up by a mouse.
  2. Like
    nojoy reacted to sober4life in Thoughts running thru my brain lately   
    I lose time all the time but the last thing I need is for the world to know I have what is probably blackouts on top of everything else.  I just see at as my mind has had enough that day and says I'm out of here.  I think maybe it is it's way of taking a break when I never voluntarily allow it to have one.
  3. Like
    nojoy reacted to Lorax in Thoughts running thru my brain lately   
    Your post reminds me of a quote I read:
    “Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
    I can definitely relate to this. 
    Hope things go better for you. 
  4. Like
    nojoy reacted to JD4010 in my own world   
    I hear ya about wanting someone to listen. Doesn't seem to happen much in "real life."
  5. Like
    nojoy reacted to JD4010 in my mind keeps looping past events   
    Sorry for the mind reruns. I get those too. A lot.
    Best wishes to you.
  6. Like
    nojoy reacted to JD4010 in Insanity   
    Much of what you wrote there rings true for me as well. 
    "The simplest chore" becomes a mind-breaking endeavor that I keep putting off for as long as possible.
  7. Like
    nojoy reacted to nojoy in another bday to be forgotten   
    Thank you for caring! 
    I'm ready to give up any day of celebration.  It is funny the only person who ever remembered my birthday was my very controlling mother. 
     Sometimes it is easier to hide the pain, then to deal with the negative remarks to get better.  
    One day life will be better for us.
  8. Like
    nojoy reacted to JD4010 in another bday to be forgotten   
    Yikes. Sorry I missed your birthday. I'd miss my own if my daughter didn't remind me. 
  9. Thanks
    nojoy got a reaction from Depressedgurl007 in Let it go   
    I could have written this 50 years ago. I learned at a very early age that we don't talk about what goes on behind the front door. That's private & no one's business.  Of course back then mental health issues were not discussed in public or even within the family. I was 7 or 8 when my dad had a 'nervous breakdown' & learned that it is not to be discussed.  
    It is hard to be positive when we find nothing positive in life. And other people can't see life through our eyes & have no clue why or how we can't feel what they do.
    Take care
  10. Like
    nojoy reacted to Depressedgurl007 in another bday to be forgotten   
    I care. I can’t be around much but I feel for you. Happy belated birthday 🙂 I don’t personally celebrate birthdays. It’s just a normal day to me..
    Keep trying n finding new ways to get to sleep ok. I’m sure there’s a way out there to help u. 
    And I understand about hiding the pain. People just don’t get it. It’s sad that we know our family just don’t care yet the desire to have them care for us is still there. 
    I hear u, I feel the pain. Hang in there. 
  11. Like
    nojoy reacted to iWantRope in and the holidays just keep getting worse as the day get closer   
    "I'm tired of people asking how are we doing Christmas"
    Just reply "We don't do that consumerism **** in my household, you capitalist!" 😆
  12. Like
    nojoy reacted to mmoose in being taken for granted   
    I cannot say I have a "savior complex".  But, I do understand that I have certain compulsions to helping certain types of people.  And then there is an "over developed sense of responsibility" in there also.  Sure, some friends or other people around me have figured some of that out and have abused it over the years.  But not as many as could have.  I also have learned to say "no" or "sorry, busy/can't" also.
     
    The older I get, the more I understand me.  I will "be me" and comfortable with it.  If someone needs some help and I can help, I try.  But, I have limits to saving others.  I've become comfortable with that. (Trying to not be judgy along the way)  But, it takes some life experience to learn this and then security to stick with it...right?
    I guess "knowing what someone wants" and "offering it to them without them asking" are two different things.  Playing dumb is an @$$hole move.  But, sometimes, I am just the @$$hole for that job.  Does not mean I won't do something...just that I will make someone say the words.  Heck Tyler Durden even did it!  (Hey, no mocking my role models!)
    Some folks rely on our offers.  But some folks will "do as they are told".  (That sounds worse than it is...)  Like, "ok, I will meet you at your place for the meeting" and then make them say something else.  Or "I understand you don't want exposure to other people and that you would not enjoy a holiday with my g-kids.  So maybe I'll see you on boxing day" (no, I'm not British, just think that everyone should be using that title for the 26th.  Start the trend!)
    Be the change you want to see.
    Happy Hols, stay safe.
  13. Like
    nojoy reacted to Bulgakov in life goes on part 2   
    Hi NJ,
    You mentioned "chair yoga."  It reminded me of a couple of Utubes I've watched lately.  The ones I've watched have been "selfies" but backed up a few feet from the subject.  There are a number of short vids that show the film maker, sitting in a high- backed chair.  Then they proceed to crawl/climb under the chair, over the back or side of the chair, then back into the seat, sitting up.  None of their body parts can touch the floor as they perform this feat.  They are something to see, and I think you could get a good workout trying them, if you are under thirty years of age, fit, and had some time to with no other use for. 
    I'm glad to hear you are having some good days, and thanks for posting that.  I sometimes fall asleep while at my dining table , ha.  It's on a "slide out" platform in my small trailer, so it sits maybe a foot above the floor, and I'm afraid I'm going to wake up while hitting the floor some A.M.  I should set up my tripod, and create a selfie of me falling asleep, then waking up.  That one I could do.
    bulga
  14. Thanks
    nojoy reacted to quentin360 in life goes on   
    nojoy, I know very well what you're talking about. Along with my severe physical disabilities I have to deal with this damn severe depression, but by God life goes on whether I wanted to or not. I live alone and the loneliness kills me but I do volunteer at a local ministry and for the most part it helps me get out of myself but a lot of times wherever I am, there I am with my misery. I tried desperately to be an optimist but that's easier said than done. I do contemplate ending it all every single day but I don't and life goes on. I do hang on to the thought that things could get better right around the corner but that starting to seem ridiculous to me but I hang on. You to hang on my friend and possibly these may get better with you. As hard as it is try to be good to yourself as best you can
  15. Thanks
    nojoy got a reaction from ItsNeverEnough in Fear   
    Fear has to be depression and anxiety's cousin. Fear is a major trigger for me. I did lose everything in the 5 years. It's hard to get past  but with support from each other we can and will.
  16. Like
    nojoy got a reaction from 20YearsandCounting in Week of July 10th   
    I'm like JD. Most of my exercise is done at the preschool. I wore the pedometer one day and found I walked close to 10,300 steps. It has just been too hot and humid to walk outside, even at the beach in the mornings.
  17. Like
    nojoy reacted to Natasha1 in Week of July 10th   
    Im going on a 16 km hike tomorrow. 8 km climbing up foothill mountains! We got this!
  18. Like
    nojoy got a reaction from Depressedgurl007 in Week of July 10th   
    You just might be the motivation I need to get moving!
  19. Like
    nojoy got a reaction from JD4010 in Week of July 10th   
    You just might be the motivation I need to get moving!
  20. Like
    nojoy got a reaction from 20YearsandCounting in Week of July 10th   
    You just might be the motivation I need to get moving!
  21. Like
    nojoy got a reaction from 20YearsandCounting in Fear   
    Fear has to be depression and anxiety's cousin. Fear is a major trigger for me. I did lose everything in the 5 years. It's hard to get past  but with support from each other we can and will.
  22. Thanks
    nojoy got a reaction from Lindsay in Fear   
    Fear has to be depression and anxiety's cousin. Fear is a major trigger for me. I did lose everything in the 5 years. It's hard to get past  but with support from each other we can and will.
  23. Like
    nojoy reacted to Depressedgurl007 in Starting Over...   
    It’s a great to feat to even start! I bought a new pair of comfortable walking shoes a month ago and still have not used it. It took me years to even buy one! At least that stopped my brain from giving that excuse of having no proper shoes to stay in bed all day while reading all your achievements of walking on my phone. 
    I’m gonna copy your goal (copyright to you) and have a goal to get out and walk for 9 minutes every morning when I get up.
    We are gonna do this. 
  24. Like
    nojoy got a reaction from 20YearsandCounting in Starting Over...   
    I quit walking 2 years ago because of all those reasons. Too hot, too much sweat, too much swelling in knee, too many people in a gym too see my out of shape self.  Reading what everyone says about walking is poking me in the rear to get back to walking. Gonna try to go to the beach to walk when I get off work.  Like you said @20YearsandCounting _____ is better than nothing.
  25. Like
    nojoy got a reaction from Soarsie18 in Properly letting go   
    It is okay to focus on other things. You have options in life. You might  become a vet in the next few years or maybe you will find something else that interests you.
    Look how many times I switched majors in college, and I'm still trying to figure what it is that I want to do with the rest of my life. I have problems committing to anything for very long. In the last year, I have taken up crocheting (brought a lot of yarn!), recycling used items into jewelry, jewelry holders, children's toys (I still have a room full of boxes that I was going to use), join a gym or yoga class (I have the clothes for both). And I gave everything up because I compared my work and myself  to the beautiful work of others and decided I was not good enough or I lost interest. I've taken art classes, jewelry making, wreath making and I'm looking for the next class.  I'm still looking for something that I can feel good about and that interests me.
    Don't give up. Don't miss out on life. Live and enjoy everything you do. Explore what interests you. You may find you like painting or helping people or pet sitting or working in a store. Keep exploring. 
    I think everyone feels lost after high school. Fear of the unknown, made me go right from high school straight into college with no break  to figure out exactly what I wanted to do. Everytime I moved out of my parents house, fear made me return to what I knew. Fear kept me from committing to one person (until I married him to get way from my mother's emotional abuse and even then I don't think I really loved him).
    Look around the world, explore many paths, Work at different jobs to find something you like or just to have something to do and make some money. You are not lost. You are a at fork in the road and have to decide which direction to go. Enjoy the journey, don't worry about the big stuff,  it will still be there whenever you are ready to deal with it.
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