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nojoy

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Everything posted by nojoy

  1. cherryapple2020, Happy Belated Birthday!!!
  2. I think I would rather have my therapist or psych doctor say those words than a family member. When I hear family say something like those words. I feel that I'm being patted on the head while the family member rolls his/her eyes. At least when a trained person says something like that, I feel that they have an understanding/knowledge of how difficult life is for me.
  3. Doing okay. Got nothing on the list done on this gloomy overcast day. I didn't beat myself up over it. but spent the day trying out crochet baby booties patterns.
  4. It is hard for others to understand what depression/anxiety is like for those who live every day with these disorders. At times, we don't like/love ourselves. Some of us don't understand why we are depressed/anxious, so we can't explain the feelings we have. I grew up with a father who was depressed, but my mother would never say the word depression. She always said he had a chemical imbalance & became very upset (& verbally abusive) with me when I tried to explain that a chemical imbalance was part of what depression is. I had a person say to me that she didn't know what to say to my older brother (her father-in-law) or me. My answer was we don't need you to tell us what is wrong with us. We already know what's wrong. Some days we just need a hug or a call just to let us know you care. So my new friend, Welcome to the forums and I care about you & understand what you are feeling. Please feel free to express yourself here. We are a non-judgment place with a lot of caring people.
  5. Today I am okay. Even though the sky is grey & dreary.
  6. cloudy, lots of gray clouds with a chance of rain. I just wish it would rain. Days like today make me lazy & then I get more depressed.
  7. - for eczema and only need a script for steroid cream and 1. you leave with a script for water pill because your blood pressure is 158/80 and 2. the rash on the back of your arm isn't eczema but shingles, so pill you have to take for shingles is the size of a horse pill and 3. you need an EKG, just to rule out a heart problem and 4. your cholesterol is 248 but you can't take statin meds so try taking Metamucil because other patients have lower the cholesterol using this. I did a zoom meeting with the psych doctor yesterday & we decide to taper off the bupropion & stopped the clonidine. In 24 hours, I went from taking 4 drugs to taking 5 drugs plus using a steroid cream every day, oh and taking metamucil too. I'm too old to be taking this many drugs. If I wasn't already depressed & anxious, I would be after this doctor's visit.
  8. You described how I often feel. And it is difficult to explain the feelings of depression to people who don't understand. I had not thought of what would happen if I could not get my meds. I'm going to check into what could be done about that.
  9. Thanks Sober. I try to do things on my own and will not ask for help. I can be stubborn & will only accept help when it is forced on me.
  10. For once I'm looking forward to tomorrow & I'm excited. For a reason most people would consider stupid. Finally, The hot water heater is getting installed. The electrician showed up & moved the power box, the plumber will be here in the morning. So no more heating water to bathe or wash dishes. And even though my older brother & I rarely see each other, he is helping me pay the bill. Plus I got a rebate check from the health insurance so there will be heating oil this winter.
  11. Hello! About 6 years ago, I was trying to quit smoking & my then- medical doctor suggested bupropion 50mg. At the time I was also on fluoxetine 50 mg. I didn't experience the high from the bupropion at that time. I had to switch doctors b/c of insurance. And new doctor raised the bupropion to 100 mg. That is when I begin to have the symptoms you wrote of. The new doctor wanted me to take the genetic testing of mental health drugs. It showed I could take most of the drugs except bupropion in high dosage. For me, the high dosage was any above 50 mg. Because the new doctor & I disagreed on a lot of things, I left. I got real lucky I found a doctor in my area that specializes in psych drugs & we found a combo of drugs that work very well for me. We did have to lower the dosage of the sertraline from 100mg to 75 mg b/c I started feeling numb. At this time I take bupropion 50mg in the morning & sertraline 75mg & clonidine 0.5 mg at bedtime which is working to keep my depression & anxiety under control. Hope this helps
  12. Do I get dressed & do some of the stuff on my list or do what i did the past 2 days - nothing?
  13. It seems that the cycles of depression is beginning to switch from okay to I'm hanging on by my fingertips. I will only ever be okay in life, never good or great. I accept that. But recognizing what is triggering the mood cycle is causing some of my problems. I'm just to darn sensitive to the behavior of other people & how it affects me -hence the drop in the mood.
  14. It is very helpful & freeing to write here. Like Svenetc said here you can be free of the mask. And I'll add that here are others who understand & are non-judgmental.
  15. for a change I am feeling pretty good considering that the plumber couldn't install the water heater because the electrical connection needs to be move. the electrician can't come until next monday & oh yeah the water pipes in the wall are beginning to rust out. It's just another day in the paradise I occupy.
  16. I know how you feel. I have been diagnosed with arthritis but over the years the type of arthritis changed depending on what symptoms I had that day. Even a rheumatologist could never decide which type I had. So he called it atypical, asymptotic rheumatoid arthritis because he couldn't figure out what I had. It is true that once you've injured a joint you will develop arthritis in later years. I brought one of those battery powered screwdrivers & I have no problem using it. I've been going around the house & yard to find things that I can now use it for, instead of waiting for my nephew or son in law to come over.
  17. i do use the blog to record my thoughts & feelings. It is a safe place that I can vent & express the negative thoughts in my head that no one in my family can have access to. In the past I've used a spiral notebook but my daughter needed paper & tore it out of that notebook. And that taught me that writing in a notebook was not a safe place where I could feel free to express myself. Unless it is negative thoughts, I have difficulty putting words on paper. There is this disconnect between what's in my head & my hand. I can create wonderful stories in my brain but the words never make it to paper.
  18. kinda upset. my daughter called & said that my granddaughter's school was in lockdown. There had been a shooting at another high school across town. What upset me was the news anchor made this comment "This is a STEM school. This are smart kids." I came so close to calling the tv station because of this comment. What does being smart have to do with mental health. As I told my daughter, this kid probably showed signs/symptoms of a mental breakdown & no one paid any attention to him/her. The signs are there, but they are ignored by the people around the person. Not only was this incident upsetting to me, but my daughter told me that last week, there was a practice lockdown & my granddaughter's teacher had to google what to do!!
  19. More family drama led to this conversation. My niece by marriage called last night & during the discussion about the family drama I said that my brother (her father-in-law) really needs to sit down with a professional. I reminded her of the year that I nearly gave up on life. That's when she said she didn't know what to say to my brother or me about depression. I just told her what not to say ("get over it, it's all in your head, get up and do something, stop feeling sorry for yourself & other negative things). I told her that if she could find something positive or constructive to say, a hug will say alot. And sometimes that all we need. I wish I had the ability to write a book about what to say to a person who suffers from depression/anxiety. I'm sure there are books out there but I haven't found one yet.
  20. More family drama led to this conversation. My niece by marriage called last night & during the discussion about the family drama I said that my brother (her father-in-law) really needs to sit down with a professional. I reminded her of the year that I nearly gave up on life. That's when she said she didn't know what to say to my brother or me about depression. I just told her what not to say ("get over it, it's all in your head, get up and do something, stop feeling sorry for yourself & other negative things). I told her that if she could find something positive or constructive to say, a hug will say alot. And sometimes that all we need. I wish I had the ability to write a book about what to say to a person who suffers from depression/anxiety. I'm sure there are books out there but I haven't found one yet.
  21. How I can get rid of the family ... legally or at least not get caught
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