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nojoy

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  1. Leaving town, going where no one can find me or knows me. Quitting smoking again. almost made it 2years, until the everything went bad 2 weeks ago. started up again to deal with the stress.
  2. I feel the same way about everything the therapist has suggested I try. I was asked how many sessions of neuro feedback I have and if I saw any improvement. 23 and I feel no difference except that I got a 20 minute nap and the therapist says this thing is working. When I sleep my brain does shut off but can't spend the rest of my life asleep. Wish I could!
  3. Stop telling me "'don't be so dramatic" "get over yourself" and the best one "if you would just get up and do something , you will feel better"
  4. I agree some of it is quack science, but at this point I'm willing to try something if there is a chance of feeling better about myself and life in general.
  5. I have been on/off prozac for years. Each time I thought I could live without medication but after 20 years, a good doctor (previous) and a good therapist I figured out I'm better on it. Unfortunately, the last doctor (not the one who helped me) I saw refused to refill it without expensive blood work that I could not afford and I went through withdrawal. New doctor started me back on 20 mg and hopefully with increase it when I see her in 2 weeks. The hardest part of going off and then back on is that it takes a while for it to build up in my system to be of any benefit to me.
  6. I haven't tried spoon bending. Tried looking it up on internet but kept getting links to the magic trick. Is it kinda like meditation where you focus on one thing (like your breathing) to bring mindfulness? My therapist is pleased with the results of the neuro feedback, but like you I don't know how it's supposed to be helping. I would be interested in how you progress with the spoon bending and how much it helps you.
  7. I had been doing the eye movement thing with the therapist. After several sessions, I got to the point where I would (inside my brain) roll my eyes and pretend that it was working and tell her what I thought she wanted to hear. I have been doing neuro feedback for about 20 weeks and either I fall asleep or my mind wanders,. I don't feel or see any different in my thoughts or depression. Anyone else experienced or are doing neuro feedback and what is/are your thoughts on it?
  8. nojoy

    I don't care

    Hi gracie234, I know what you are feeling. I feel empty, like there's nothing inside. I wish I had a magic wand. I would wave it and all of us who feel this way would be happy and full of peace and joy. I'm not gonna say all the bs that well-meaning family and friends have said to me. Just know that you are not alone. nojoy
  9. Hi Namrata, I have spent the last week like you. I found this place by accident and reading about others like me has helped me see that I am not alone. Find someone, a friend who understand, a therapist, your family doctor and if the first person you talk to doesn't seem right for you, keep searching. I .have been through several til I found someone I could open up to.
  10. Thank you everyone, I finally have insurance so I can find another doctor, hopefully this one will understand what depression is all about. It has been a nightmare. The previous doctor said it was unsafe to take a drug without the bloodwork. I have been on/off this for years and never had to have bloodwork. I don't know what would have been worse than the withdrawal symptoms I have/ am still going thru. After just reading other posts, I have hope. Thank you for your encouragement.
  11. Hi, I suffer from Chronic Depression. Been on/off meds and seen therapist for years. I was doing good for a while untll my doctor went to Hospital Admin and I got stuck with a new doctor who would not refill meds without expensive blood work which I could not afford and had no insurance. All the years that I have taken fluoxentine I have never had to have blood work. Long story made short, I have had withdrawal symptoms and everything in life has become dark. I do see a therapist who has helped tremendously, unfortunately she will be out of town til the end of the month. Because of the irritability and overwhelming sadness, my daughter who has always been supportive during my struggle with depression and was 1/2 semester from graduating with BS in Psychology left me a note and her housekey for me to find when I got home from work. The note said. she was tired of my drama and I needed to get over myself and oh she hopes we can be friends in the future. As I said, it has been dark and has becomes even darker. I was looking up ways to die when i found this website. Like I told my therapist, I won't hurt myself because it would be just one more thing I would fail at. Thank you for just listening (reading) without judgement.
  12. nojoy

    Neurofeedback?

    Hi, I'm new to Depression Forum and was looking around when I saw this topic. I have been doing neuro feedback about 20 weeks, just once a week. But what you all have describe is totally different from what I do. My therapist attaches 1 lead to my head either about 4 inches above left ear or on the center of the back of my head and then 1 behind each ear. For 30 minutes or so, I listen to one of Michael Seely's meditations about overcoming depression/anxiety and listen to repetitive tones that are supposed to reinforce the brain waves to change for the better. Is it working..according to the therapist the brain waves are changing for the better. Do I feel any difference...no. Most of the time my mind starts wondering back to the things that made the depression worse. to make matters worse, I' the type of person that will tell you that I'm fine while I could be bleeding out on the floor because I don't want to disappoint anyone. If possible could someone go into more detail about their experience with how their neuro feedback is done. Thank you
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