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About nojoy

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  • Birthday March 9

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  1. Hi. Sorry it took so long to respond. I got the call that the dental surgery that was scheduled for March was finally going to happen and rushed to get things like food in the house. Doing better and things are looking good. I think that my changes in how I see my life has a lot to do with finally finding the right therapist and doctor to prescribe the right combo of medicines. Rather than just listening to me talk, this therapist actually showed me ways to change my thinking. Some of the things I do to help myself: I think the thing that helps the most is acknowledging that I control how I react to things and I am not responsible for other's behavior. I still have negative/hurtful/mean thoughts, but I have learned to acknowledge those thoughts and tell myself that its over and done with. Sometimes I have to tell myself "Stop. Not going there." out loud for the message to reach the brain. And for those times that the negatives overwhelm, I write them down. I can't always read what wrote but it is a way to deal with them in a constructive manner. I do guided meditations. I really like Michael Sealey's guided meditations. I have ones for overcoming depression and anxiety, getting restful sleep, to quit smoking, to stop procrastination. There are many guided meditations to choose from. I do yoga, but it has been difficult during the confinement of the pandemic. I do better when I have a in person teacher than a video. I also have been working in the yard, getting the needed vitamins from the sun. It is the first time that I have actually spent 2 - 3 hours a day pulling ivy, raking up 3 years of fallen leaves. Because I do better with lists, I make a list of things I want to do during the week. If I get everything done, great. But if I don't, it goes on next week's list. I don't beat myself up over not getting something done. I know that I will be on medications for depression/anxiety for the rest of my life. I know that there may be days I don't want to get out of bed and that's okay. I give myself permission to take care of myself (because there is no one else to take care of me like I want to be cared for) and to say no to others and to things I don't want to do. I can't control others but I can control how I respond and that was a major step for me to take. I hope this helps others. I'm still on the road away from that deep. dark hole of depression/anxiety. And it is hard but the first step is the hardest, so take baby steps if you need to.
  2. It has been a while since I was here. Since mid-April, I have changed my thinking from hopeless to maybe there is hope for me. I have energy and interest in doing things and actually accomplishing some goals. I haven't forgot all of you and the support you have given me. The meds and therapy have improved my quality of life. Finally the dentist office is open and the surgery I need will be done next week. The therapist said the those of us who have avoided interacting with others, going out only when necessary will have a much easier time when the restrictions of COVID 19 are lifted than the "normal" people. They are going to go wild while we will still take things slow. Be well and even if I not here, you are all in my thoughts.
  3. I have been watching 👀 to see who is hoarding TP 🚽. Planning a midnite raid on those hoarding. If you want to join the raid, meet at the large tree 🌳 in the middle of the town square. And extra points for finding those hoarding hand sanitizer 🖐️. Take no prisoners 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 and only 🚽TP.
  4. my cats are sisters named Siam and Thai. Came with the names as they are part Siamese. At times I call them "the adult lady" (Siam) and "the teenager" (Thai) because of the way they act. Siam is very mellow and Thai behaves like a teenager doing everything she's not supposed to do. Thai is looking at me and I can tell she's sending a message to the Catnip dealer.😺
  5. My therapist emailed me last week about doing this. Sent a link to "GoToMeeting" app. Couldn't download it because my computer security (I know it has a name but I can't think of it.) kept telling me that it was not safe to download this app. So we ended up talking by phone. I was more comfortable talking on the phone than on the by computer and webcam. Think I'm going to tell her the same thing for the next session.😏 Like you I hate pictures of me and the last good one I had was when I was about 4 years old.
  6. the telemedicine session with the therapist did not go as she hoped. the "GoToMeeting" app would not download. ended up using the telephone, which was much better for me. I hope that everyone is doing okay during this terrible trying time.
  7. I am feeling nothing again emotionally. Physically, I pulled muscles in my lower and upper back, do something outside, get some sun, it will help, raking and bagging leaves. managed to fill to bags. The therapist sent email saying we can have a session online … oh goodie the techno-challenged depressed/ highly anxious person will gain a new experience. Everyone have a good week!
  8. Hello and welcome to the forums, Jay. We all have stories similar to yours and can understand how and what you feel. Through our posts, we help one another. Please join us in sharing more of your story and reading others' posts.
  9. nojoy


    I agree 100 percent!
  10. I was doing so much better. And then life screwed me. In one week, my life became a living lleh. The dental surgery was cancelled, public library closed, yoga studio closed, couldn't get cigarettes because 3 stores near me sold out and were not sure when they would get them, restaurants I usually go to are only doing take out. Saw therapist before life shut down, she was happy with the progress I was making by going places, making eye contact, having conversations (short ones) with people. I was starting to feel good about myself. Now I just don't care about anything. And more than likely my therapy appt for next week will be cancelled. I always thought of myself as ugly, now with broken and missing teeth I'm even uglier. And to top off everything, my brother's second wife was on life support for the last 2 weeks and he and her daughters made the decision to remove all life support today and she passed away. His first wife was diagnose with stage 4 Lung cancer 5 years ago. He was finally told that Mary the second wife had swine flu and were still waiting for covid 19 results. That's not everything, I asked daughter #1 to texted her sister about mary. Daughter #1 calls me, crying and carrying on. I'm not in the mood to deal with this and I told her just call me back when I can understand what she is saying. and she hung up on me. So once again, Mom is the -itch who does give a nmad about nobody but herself.
  11. Hello and Welcome. I totally understand about creating your own world. That's what I do. In my world if I don't like what you say to me I will knock you off and out of my world. I have been doing this for most of my life.
  12. Happy Birthday!!! At least the people you invite to your birthday will show up.
  13. :birthday:

    From  one March 9th birthday girl  to another!!

    1. sober4life


      Thank you happy birthday to you too!:icon12:

  14. I'm ok. I spent 30 minutes with the therapist talking about this. I said I wasn't happy nor was I sad; I'm just here in the middle. Her reply was "That's called being ok.That's good. That's where we want you to be." 30 minutes later I still don't know what the heck 'ok' is. and 15 minutes of us discussing that this is a new feeling for me and I should embrace it. So if anyone knows what the feeling "ok" is defined as, please let me kno
  15. I have to thank all of you. It has been out by the therapist that everything I say has the word but then something negative. Neither she nor I ever thought of changing the negative to a positive statement. Thanks again and I am going to do this and share it with the therapist. Glad I sign on today since I have been feeling down more this week.
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