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Haunted Rain

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  1. Yeah, not true. Look around, 90% of the couples i see are made up of, at best, average looking people, and still a Lot of what, to me, are unattractive people. Shoot, i don't consider myself much to look at but i've dated... even some women way out of my league haha. The people who are so focused on looks are not the kind of people you want to be with anyways. The people worth being with appreciate you, not your looks. And those people absolutely do exist.
  2. While misguided it usually seems to come from a sincere place of wanting to do things right. I've learned that many times people that get super awkward or uncomfortable about health issues simply don't know what to say or do, but want to do things right. But, really, most people don't get a lot of chances to learn how to deal with such things. Add that people vary, some people with health issues may want to avoid talking about it while others don't mind discussing it freely. So it leaves a pretty vast opening that people have to guess their way through. When people act super awkward with me, about anything, i downplay their awkwardness, especially when they get apologetic. I don't spend a lot of time trying to make them feel better. The more you downplay it and move on, the quicker they learn. And i usually tell them straight out how i feel about whatever the subject is, how comfortable i am discussing it, etc... So usually most of the awkwardness goes away after the first time.
  3. Sorry to hear that Wax. Two such radical opposites has to create a set of problems all their own, on top of what you're already dealing with. But we're all doing our best, yourself included, to deal with the problems we face. That's all we can expect of ourselves and we can't let others expectations interfere with that. Don't let those not living with it inside to dictate things for you. Keep pushing on and you'll grow and get stronger.
  4. We think the grass is always greener on the other side. It's often just a 'farty dirty patch'. Sometimes we want the best of both worlds, and if we don't commit ourselves fully to one we just get torn apart and lose all of it. Likely one of these apply. If there are things you can do, still within his boundaries, why not take it upon yourself to go with it. It could help lessen your feelings and respark his. Seems worth a try.
  5. I get this. I've done ok making friends, but keeping friends? Though i do go through phases where making friends even seems impossible. As i take a look at myself 20+ years ago, how i thought, felt, what i believed, how i responded, etc... i was not really giving people as much goodness to hold on to as i believed. At the time i don't think i had it to give, but not because i was such a bad person. More that i was hurting too much. So being around me wasn't always pleasant. And i loved to make people laugh but that still wasn't enough. So what i learned is that who we think we're being is often not a clear picture of what we present to others. I had to hear a lot of hard truths from others, for years, before i learned to alter how i dealt with people. Especially as someone with depression or similar issues. Socializing can often be so complicated. We often want to feel 'normal' and that includes having 'normal' friendships, but we also find it hard to be as easy going. Our minds tend to run on deeper and darker things. Lots of introspective thinking. The kinds of stuff that doesn't mesh well with 'normal' friendships often. So having conversations where we're complaining, or letting others complain, doesn't allow for a more casual tone, thus making things always more deep, emotional, personal and possibly painful. So this notion gets applied to us. And it's difficult to be anything else. Spending less time 'being there' or 'needing to get' and letting things be more casual and fun can help prevent us from being perceived as always serious and our only worth is when those things arise in others. It's not easy to do, but it's necessary. And it's worth it because it helps solid friendships develop more naturally.
  6. I, too, have depression (with anxiety) and physical health issues. I have had a little trouble with what you're saying. Mostly, though, i speak pretty openly and early about it. If a person feels awkward but sticks around, that's ok. I don't mind guiding them to feel comfortable about it or around me. If they respond really negatively, i kick them to the curb glad i found out what they're really like early on. It seems trying to hide things often makes things weirder when it does finally come out. Some people won't care, others will. Find out early and the ones that care, you're better off without them. If it's a problem with people not so easily gotten rid of, perhaps change the way You talk about it. Sometimes we can be the reason people are uncomfortable. The way we talk about things may make people feel awkward. So being more reserved may ease things. And those that can handle it are the ones you're more open with.
  7. As others have said, these thoughts alone are not wrong. It's pretty deep stuff and things people have long asked (and mostly don't have answers to). But if they are obsessive then that is a problem. Any thought, good or bad, that becomes obsessive reflects a problem. OCD was also a thought i considered. I would not attempt to take action on anything until you can get an official diagnosis, though. No one here can give you any sort of accurate diagnosis and therefore not wisely or knowledgeably advise you on what to do. Merely guide you to possibilities to have looked into under the right conditions by the right people.
  8. Have you considered using less of an 'all or nothing' thinking and instead learning to be wise and discerning in who you give so much to? Don't give more than you're willing to give without expecting something in return until one proves themselves to be able to reciprocate. But always try to give a little more than you get, because if we all held back to make it even, then we would have none of the giving people, such as yourself, to offer anything of value and the entire world would become entirely cold and closed off. And when you meet those people that do the same it's never an issue of how much you give to them. You can give extra of yourself without giving away all of yourself. Compassion without wisdom sets you up to be ran dry.
  9. Sounds to me like you saw a consistent view among everyone and offered an option. Nothing major there. Nothing on the surface, at least. Only you can know your true motives and see for yourself, but nothing really stands out to me as being bad. Now had you pushed to have your way, that would have been a problem. In a group like that with a predetermined sequence pushing to skip things would likely have some negative overtones, but as it stands the way you shared it, you're fine. I do have a history of manipulation, and sometimes i do the same thing you're doing, checking myself and my motives. It's a good thing to do, but not get hung up on if you can't really see anything.
  10. Psycroptic - Cold Apparently I've had this album a while and never paid attention to it. Mistaaaaaaake.
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