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About Depressedgurl007

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  1. Can people just stop pretending to be happy or positive. Fake it till u make it doesn’t work. Unless they are not faking it. Sigh. Why do I still try. I’m tired of trying. Tired of pretending.
  2. Sometimes I feel it’s just how our brains are? Certain lack of chemicals / hormones / small damaged parts of our brains we don’t know about. Makes it hard for us to find meaning / gratitude in anything no matter how hard we try. But for u, the key word is u did try. And that’s all u can do. Don’t be disappointed with yourself for failing, cos u made lots of effort to try, so give yourself credit for that. whats there to do after we have tried n we still fail? If there is a way out, I would go for it. But I’m forever worried what will happen to my daughter if I go. But I mentioned before, it’s hard for me to say “I’m sorry for your loss”. I feel if someone does manage to go, oh how lucky they are! And for those still stuck here? What else can we do but hold on to each other’s hand for help just so that we can drag our feet through this life.
  3. Just wanna say your post is beautiful. I guess we tend to live for the one or two good people we were with in our lives. As empty as life is, as dissatisfied as we feel, we still gotto try to find meaning in a meaningless world.
  4. I’m becoming more and more sensitive the more I try to get back into society. Everything is so painful to experience. Wondering if I should just go back into my cave where I know I’m a nobody and no one needs to tell me how lousy I am. I hate being human 😞
  5. I feel both of you. I pity those who enjoy life. For what? For an invisible meaning you create yourself in an inherently meaningless and random world. i too wish I have the guts. I envy those who can leave. I can’t stand being here and yet here I am. Why is it so difficult.
  6. How do I become brave enough to leave this world? I actually feel a bit triggered when people say “I’m sorry for your loss.” Because I want to be able to leave this world too. I’m not sorry, but I wish I’m them and I wish I can escape from reality forever. How lucky they are to be gone. I hate myself so much.
  7. I hate how I am so angry n irritated I have nowhere to express it. I don’t know what to do. I wish I can just disappear from this earth. I hate myself, totally hopeless and useless and I don’t even have a purpose on this damned planet why do I even bother to get up and struggle every single day. I totally hate myself and I can’t even k ill myself. Why bother why try I’m sick n tired of everything.
  8. Woke up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep when I saw a certain message. Sigh.
  9. Depressedgurl007

    Hade a nice day

    I love the beach this is beautiful.
  10. Horrible. Hate myself. Same old things happening over and over again. No way out.
  11. It’s been like this for many years I guess I just needed a place to vent. He can’t stand my attitude and anger management issues and depression and he said to give him a week to decide. I still love him n I’m trying so hard to just take one step forward every single day, but if I’m only making him worse then there’s nothing I can do. Only time will tell. Thanks for asking it means a lot to me.
  12. again we are talking about separation. AGAIN. if the courts are open now i would go there and submit the separation papers now.
  13. still awful. horrible. terrible. really how am i supposed to get out of this hole? i can't take it anymore.
  14. Depressedgurl007

    13 reasons

    I took a short break from df in March and I came back but I still feel horrible. I don't know what I'm supposed to do when everything I do is still wrong. When her face still frustrates and irritates me but I try my best not to move a single muscle when I feel horrible cos every action I make will be wrong. "13 Reasons Why...to Live." by Ana Nogales, Ph.D. 1. Life is an invitation to learn. We can learn something from every moment, good or bad. 2. Life is not static; it's in constant movement, much like the waves of the ocean. Each wave that comes brings with it new experiences, and each one is different. Just as the bad waves can sometimes show no mercy, the good ones come along and refresh us. Nothing lasts forever. 3. Life is a gift; some people depart too soon and don’t have the fortune to know life. Those who have it should enjoy it. 4. Our lives are not only our own. They also belong to those who surround us. We should take care of ourselves because we are important to others—even though we sometimes forget it. 5. Each new day is a new experience. If we don't live it, we won't know what we’re missing. 6. We are the designers of our life. It is our challenge to find beauty, even—and especially—when the opposite occurs. Finding beauty in the world is possible and brings countless rewards. 7. We all live through experiences that leave scars. However, there is always someone to give us a hand during those difficult times. The important thing is to accept that help. 8. Making an effort to deal with problems can make us aware of how strong we really are. Life's challenges don't exist only to upset us—they exist so that we understand ourselves better and get to know who we really are. 9. To live is to discover something about ourselves of which we were not aware. 10. To live is to look at ourselves in the mirror and discover a message of love in our own eyes. 11. To live is to allow ourselves to fall in love—with someone, with something, or with life itself. 12. Viewing death as a source of meaning can be comforting for many—but rather than using this as an argument in favor of suicide, it's critical to leverage such a perspective in order to make the most of life while it lasts. 13. Death is waiting for each of us anyway; why call on it before our time? Is this helpful? Do I feel better after reading this? I want to say yes, but I'm only at 50%, and it's still going down. Can I not try? No. Can I give up? No. Do I have a choice? No.
  15. I've been crying on and off and 3 hours later I still feel horrible. Why am I alive. Why do I try. Cos I got no choice. Life is unfair is a fact. Getting hit at the most unexpected turn and knowing there's nothing I can do to stop the pain cos it'll always be there.
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