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Depressedgurl007

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  1. I wish I can cope with stress better. I’m out of cash again. How am I gonna survive the next two weeks. Hospital bills a bit high this month and insurance money wont be coming anytime soon
  2. Kinda overwhelmed again. One thing after another and no time to rest. Feel frozen and don’t want to face the world, I’m too tired of everything, just want everything to end
  3. I’m sorry for all u went through in the past Ur really blessed to find an angel. Love is interesting, it changes someone and not everyone can receive it and nobody really understands it. U have a wonderful wife, keeping things in won’t help u, but I’m also sure u will slowly learn what to say to her and when to say it. Believe in her, and believe in yourself. Hope your therapist helps u.
  4. And u did that because u want to. U did not force yourself to do it because others tell u to. That’s what I was trying to say If we really want to get out of depression for ourselves, we will find a way no matter how many times we fall. It’s definitely not easy, and that’s why I gave up many times, cos on very bad days, I just can’t be positive. And that’s ok and it’s not my fault. Thanks for sharing!
  5. U will figure it out, u will find it somewhere. Even if u can’t find hope right now, we will be here for u until u do.
  6. I’d rather not do it, but well I live with a mother in law and a husband, so social expectations are drowning me Learning to live with it. Don’t do it if u don’t have to!
  7. My goals are simple but I still struggle with them: Get out of bed Eat breakfast Sweep the house (4x a week) Mop the house (once a week) Write my reflection and review diary Manage my time better Get through the day
  8. Depressedgurl007

    Getting there

    I am a beautiful disaster, and I accept myself as such. Someone mentioned that if we are negative, we should not force ourselves to be positive, n just accept it because when we stay negative long enough, one day naturally we want to be positive in our own way, and we will find that way ourselves. If we keep forcing ourselves to be positive, hating and comparing ourselves on why others have it easier than us to be happy, we will feel more upset on why we can’t be positive. So we don’t have to do anything unless we want to. I am feeling this way cos I want to and I’ll only get up when I can. Never force ourselves. Another thing I’ve learnt is to not deny ourselves of feeling sad or disappointed or angry or frustrated or exasperated or afraid, it’s only natural to have all these feelings. We are allowed to feel angry or afraid. Things happen and people hurt us. Things happen out of our control. Trudge through those feelings and some day, one day, whichever day that is, we will get through them, even if we currently feel like we can’t. I realise I’ve learned a lot about patience. And only experience could have gotten me here. Is the world a better place? No and never will it be. I’ve just grown a bit more and learned what to do when things happen to me. Do things still happen to me? Yes they do and that’s why I’m still here on this forum cos I can’t go through this alone.
  9. I’ve also been trying to diet but living with another person in the house (my husband) who keeps buying junk food is not helping me either. Then he says I should learn to control myself. Right.
  10. One of those nights when I can’t sleep, it’s way past my bedtime, and I have to wake up earlier for work tomorrow, and I don’t know how to sort out the feelings inside me…and also because I had no motivation to do my work today and caffeine was my only motivation today and this is the result I am so dead tomorrow…thank u, my mind, for worrying so much…sigh…
  11. Depressedgurl007

    Random Thoughts

    Anything on my mind. Sigh. Should I just type out all my negative thoughts. Should I type out about my day. Hate towards myself. Cos I hate my mother in law even though she is not all bad and she does have some good qualities but our relationship is just not there and our personalities crash. But she does take care of my daughter, who I think loves her more than me. I’m still not sure what I’m doing with my life. I still have strong cravings for coffee, which I’ve been trying to cut down since I dunno when. I hate my husband’s cigarette smell and yet he is still smoking right now. I’m sleepy but I need to sweep the house. Still wishing the same old things like giving up and dying, knowing I can’t do either one. And in the end I just have to let myself be sad, then get up and go, cos that’s life. Ugh and don’t even get me started about work. Sigh.
  12. My heart is so heavy. Dragging my feet. Same old, nothing new. Tolerating everything. Enduring everything. Keeping everything inside. What else can I say except repeat myself. Knowing why I’m alive, knowing why I do what I do, but it’s still hard. Every minute, every second, with a heavy heart.
  13. Its the time of the month when I shout and scream at everyone and my husband still doesn’t understand that I’m a woman with hormones different from him. I hate this time of the month. But like @Nightjar said, I will persevere. Until the day I can’t persevere anymore.
  14. Sense of humour…good one…I tend to laugh too when I’m feeling exasperated or frustrated…then the people around me will think I’m weird or have no feelings and avoid me or reprimand me for laughing when I really just feel like dying…
  15. Today is a public holiday here and my mother in law’s house is having visitors and I’m holed up in “my” room cos I don’t want to socialise with them at all. Thus feeling like everyone hates me. Well. I guess that’s better than having to entertain people who I don’t know how to talk to and staring into space while they talk. Sigh.
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