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Ra7eN's Achievements


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  1. I was just curious if they had a label for this type of "crying". I never feel depressed, but the crying part is puzzling. If it was just random, it would make sense, but it's triggered but one or two types of emotional stimuli.
  2. Hi. ya I used to be on lithium and a ocuple others in my younger days, but these days I know how to watch out for things that make it go bad, and to this day works well, just the crying part - hard to be macho with tears down your eyes LOL!!! Especially if your boss does something for you selflessly and it is NOT in his nature. So never used meds.
  3. I've heard of those, but those don't make me break down. It is always something to do with heroic, self sacrifice (Gladiator for example) other things meh... it has to be something of that nature always heroic, In real life, someone helping another just because - I mean big stuff, (not likehelping move, or not taking any gratuity, those are nice, but not a trigger... hard to explain, not every little thing.. no offense intended, it is specific. I could watch some good young kid sing.. but meh no big deal. even if they have some crazy story to go along with it, it is specific when I start to loose it. again extremely difficult to convey.. thanks for the answer. I think i will put a few up as they come along. While I know when it comes to movies, they are actors, but if they are good and the writer did it perfectly , it will trigger.
  4. I can relate to your life, only i have a (soon to be ex)wife. Same thing I work long hours make decent money, and it is all spend on her for her high-on-the-hog living. Not to mention she is addicted to adderal, I am sure you know how that story goes LOL. But being someone else will not change your current life - so to speak. You have to stay within reality, or you will loose your sanity. You can be anyone you want, you just make a decision to do so. Example these days, I live two lives, one with her (uhg) and one without her. when I work I am surrounded by people I like and have great time for the most part. The good thing is when I am home, I get lost in programing and gaming (I firmly believe that gaming is very medicinal*). While it is not an ideal life, it works. My wish is I am with someone else. Because I dont believe that misery with anyone else is as extreme as who I am with now. If you want to be someone else, hang around someone that is like who you want to be. Hopefully a role model. That is what I do daily, there is always something good in everyone I meet and i try to in corporate that into my life. From how someone says hello, to how to handle difficult topics. As far as looks, dont! to this day due to surgery I have a pooch. they cut my stomach muscle, so i always look like i have a beer gut. No way to get rid of it. More I eat the bigger it gets, instead I focus heavily on my personality. don't let culture dictate how you look, I don't and many other dont either. What is attractive to one, is offensive to another. Hone your personality and skill, and you will attract the person that is like you, instead of trying to carv yourself into maybe one or two people, and then later you find that someone that is like you WERE, and miss them. We all loose our looks as we get older, its what is inside that will carry you through old age and beyond with the one you love. Think about it. suicide is a bad road. Been there twice. The one thing I found out about it - is life goes on without you. The only person you hurt is yourself. Mcdonalds will still be open, the BP station down the road will still pump gas, your position work will be replaced - what will you have accomplished? Nothing. Be stronger than that. shoot some specifics.. I'll chime in if you want. I have a long road of wisdom and experience. Been there done that to coin a phrase. Stay true to yourself
  5. I'll do a short version. BRAZIL - anyone that has seen that movie will understand better. When I was younger I was diagnosed with "manic-depression" which I believe translates to bi-polar today. I pride myself on not having the symptoms. I've learned to control it w/o medication (not cure it). And people are either stunned or in total disbelief when I tell them I am bi-polar. These days I rarely have the moode swings, if ever, outside the normal up and downs people have. So what is my issue. Well, I noticed a pattern over the last few years, and it is becoming stronger and stronger. I have hard core crying episodes. BUT, and it is a BIG BUT. they are not random. Short triggers are selfless acts of people to others or extended to myself. I mean SERIOUSLY I even fought of a lumpy throat on Iron Man 3 at the end. gawd. But the more real, and sincere, the more difficult it is to fight off. I will not bore you guys with examples, But that should suffice for now. What is that? Why are they so strong, even music - the right song, will hit home as well. Thanks for checking this out.. I will provide more info/examples as needed
  6. Hi guys You all have some amazing insite @Atra Mine (crying) i've narrowed down to not so much happy ending movies - but they are like "selfless" acts. thinks like a tough guy would never do in a million years, "bends the rules" so to speak, and other issues like this. Or a strong emotional event as such. Nothing else. Nothing random. It is hard to explain. I was diagnosed when I was 10 (abusive family, friends and even teachers - so as a child, in my mind. I had no one to go to), manic. As I got older, I did not want to be like that, so I took a look as what wa causing it, and made sure (almost)not to get into the situations. while it is more complex than that, it is the gist of it. These days it is almost impossible to swallow the lump I used to. I think you are right, it is looking for a crack. And the dam is starting to break. @JessiesMom Hey we are neighbors LOL (MN), I never used medication. I did back in the 90's - Lithium - hated it. And flat out stopped. I understood what the meds were trying to do, and over the years, I made an effort to "mimic" the effects. As time went by, it became second nature. The other issue I was told (I survived 3 serious suicides) and one doc was able to tell me that the other reason I suffer these issues, is my lack of eating (you guys prob know about starving yourself LOL, not a good idea). He informed me that it depleats mey brain of a chemical that perpetuates depression, so I am in a vicious circle, I am depressed so I don't eat, when I don't eat, I get depressed and so forth. So the second MAJOR self help , is I force myself to eat. Now I eat like people eat "comfort food". I am happy things worked for your father. People and friends haven't a clue that I suffer these symptom. They believe I live a happy life. @IcanDoThis I believe you may be correct. I noticed this crying issue over the last couple years. my (soon to be ex) wife suffers really bad mental issues - they flared up a few years ago due to many deaths in her family over the course of a short perioud. If she goes off her meds, she is increadibly violent. that was 8yrs ago. Now there is nothing. We are two people living in the same building, just in different rooms. So maybe deep inside, I miss those days. Days that will never return because of her illness. We cant be together - extremely toxic (police several times, and I recently had to put a restraining order on her, which has been modified a litle while ago to allow her to stay here - I just could not kick her on the street). so ya, those fabricated TV stories, the acting is so good (thanks to the casting), that I cry on those becaues of "...ya, I understand, and know how you feel" - Like @Atra, I am very empathetic person. So I become those people on TV, and even worse, in real life when someone does somthing out of character (i.e. a rude S.O.B.) , I can barely hold it in. Really sux, and it's embarrassing. Thanks guys.. it is nice to know that others can relate.
  7. Hi, thanks for the quick response. Like I mentioned, it is not random. it is specific. The most common one is the selfless. I know some people (like my wife who has many mental illnesses) will cry at random things. that is why I am puzzled but thanks again.. I'll keep stopping by. Maybe I can offer suggestions on the BP. One issue I realized that works, is just stay out of situations the cause it to flair up. While many may think that is common sense, but trust me. it is hard - example keep getting into bad relationships thanks again...
  8. I"ll try to keep this short. I am one of the few that have been able to keep my bi-polar in check. Of course, back in the day you were diagnosed as a "manic depressant" (times change right). In the last 10yrs I visited a counselor, just mostly to get a professional opinion on my condition. You see, I am able to go through life without the ups and downs and mood swings, I know BP cannot be cured, so I can only assume that I am able to control it - well these days, second nature. The counselor I had, said if I could bottle up that skill - I would be rich :-) OK I digress.. Now something I cannot control, that has been becoming and increasing big issue for my. Crying... But not randomly crying. I've narrowed it down to mostly selfless acts from people I see, either someone I hear about, to me, or even movies & TV (which I do not watch much). It is uncontrollable for the most part. It is very humiliating sometimes. In the past I would have a boss do something that is very nice - and/or selfless. I would say maybe a few years ago, it would be more like a gut feeling, like you feel it creep up, but I was able to force it back. However, these days - wow. Numb3rs, Pretender, Jag, and even the Guardian, the endings tear me up. I know why. I wanted showed a girl a poem I wrote many many years go - blam!! Full water works. I can't control it now. I do not know if the mentally abusive, destructive marriage is finally getting to me, and when I encounter something "nice" and heartfelt, I come apart. My personal opinion, that "love" like emotions from anywhere, get to me, as it is lacked on the home-front. But I am not a Dr, so cannot assess that. And it is hard to look macho when the boss (a mean one) is actually being nice for a change, and then you well up. arg! LoL Is this depression, or some repressed part of my BP? As a side note, is BP the name as MD(manic depressant)? The only other issue I have is ADD, however I think that is unrelated. I tried to keep this short.
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