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Ra7eN

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  1. Hi guys You all have some amazing insite @Atra Mine (crying) i've narrowed down to not so much happy ending movies - but they are like "selfless" acts. thinks like a tough guy would never do in a million years, "bends the rules" so to speak, and other issues like this. Or a strong emotional event as such. Nothing else. Nothing random. It is hard to explain. I was diagnosed when I was 10 (abusive family, friends and even teachers - so as a child, in my mind. I had no one to go to), manic. As I got older, I did not want to be like that, so I took a look as what wa causing it, and made sure (almost)not to get into the situations. while it is more complex than that, it is the gist of it. These days it is almost impossible to swallow the lump I used to. I think you are right, it is looking for a crack. And the dam is starting to break. @JessiesMom Hey we are neighbors LOL (MN), I never used medication. I did back in the 90's - Lithium - hated it. And flat out stopped. I understood what the meds were trying to do, and over the years, I made an effort to "mimic" the effects. As time went by, it became second nature. The other issue I was told (I survived 3 serious suicides) and one doc was able to tell me that the other reason I suffer these issues, is my lack of eating (you guys prob know about starving yourself LOL, not a good idea). He informed me that it depleats mey brain of a chemical that perpetuates depression, so I am in a vicious circle, I am depressed so I don't eat, when I don't eat, I get depressed and so forth. So the second MAJOR self help , is I force myself to eat. Now I eat like people eat "comfort food". I am happy things worked for your father. People and friends haven't a clue that I suffer these symptom. They believe I live a happy life. @IcanDoThis I believe you may be correct. I noticed this crying issue over the last couple years. my (soon to be ex) wife suffers really bad mental issues - they flared up a few years ago due to many deaths in her family over the course of a short perioud. If she goes off her meds, she is increadibly violent. that was 8yrs ago. Now there is nothing. We are two people living in the same building, just in different rooms. So maybe deep inside, I miss those days. Days that will never return because of her illness. We cant be together - extremely toxic (police several times, and I recently had to put a restraining order on her, which has been modified a litle while ago to allow her to stay here - I just could not kick her on the street). so ya, those fabricated TV stories, the acting is so good (thanks to the casting), that I cry on those becaues of "...ya, I understand, and know how you feel" - Like @Atra, I am very empathetic person. So I become those people on TV, and even worse, in real life when someone does somthing out of character (i.e. a rude S.O.B.) , I can barely hold it in. Really sux, and it's embarrassing. Thanks guys.. it is nice to know that others can relate.
  2. Hi, thanks for the quick response. Like I mentioned, it is not random. it is specific. The most common one is the selfless. I know some people (like my wife who has many mental illnesses) will cry at random things. that is why I am puzzled but thanks again.. I'll keep stopping by. Maybe I can offer suggestions on the BP. One issue I realized that works, is just stay out of situations the cause it to flair up. While many may think that is common sense, but trust me. it is hard - example keep getting into bad relationships thanks again...
  3. I"ll try to keep this short. I am one of the few that have been able to keep my bi-polar in check. Of course, back in the day you were diagnosed as a "manic depressant" (times change right). In the last 10yrs I visited a counselor, just mostly to get a professional opinion on my condition. You see, I am able to go through life without the ups and downs and mood swings, I know BP cannot be cured, so I can only assume that I am able to control it - well these days, second nature. The counselor I had, said if I could bottle up that skill - I would be rich :-) OK I digress.. Now something I cannot control, that has been becoming and increasing big issue for my. Crying... But not randomly crying. I've narrowed it down to mostly selfless acts from people I see, either someone I hear about, to me, or even movies & TV (which I do not watch much). It is uncontrollable for the most part. It is very humiliating sometimes. In the past I would have a boss do something that is very nice - and/or selfless. I would say maybe a few years ago, it would be more like a gut feeling, like you feel it creep up, but I was able to force it back. However, these days - wow. Numb3rs, Pretender, Jag, and even the Guardian, the endings tear me up. I know why. I wanted showed a girl a poem I wrote many many years go - blam!! Full water works. I can't control it now. I do not know if the mentally abusive, destructive marriage is finally getting to me, and when I encounter something "nice" and heartfelt, I come apart. My personal opinion, that "love" like emotions from anywhere, get to me, as it is lacked on the home-front. But I am not a Dr, so cannot assess that. And it is hard to look macho when the boss (a mean one) is actually being nice for a change, and then you well up. arg! LoL Is this depression, or some repressed part of my BP? As a side note, is BP the name as MD(manic depressant)? The only other issue I have is ADD, however I think that is unrelated. I tried to keep this short.
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