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About ItsNeverEnough

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  1. ItsNeverEnough


    I missed this! Hope you are feeling even better than before. I'm having pretty bad aniexty today. Almost tempted to try anything to stop it, so alcohol comes to mind. Not an addict but I'm trying to avoid it. So the fight continues. Just started another medication. Couldn't get fast enough, who knows how long it will take, days, weeks, months, who knows. Feeling really bitter towards people. I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots and I'm snapping. Don't want to jeopardize anything, but anger provides some relief albeit temporary. I go from stable to unstable too quickly it feels. Praying for some help.
  2. ItsNeverEnough

    Anyone else here use a CPAP?

    I use a CPAP machine. When I had to get a new mask I had to pay $100 out-of-pocket (I believe that to be the retail price, so no coverage). There seems to be so many restrictions on what and how often they will cover medical supplies. That being said, I haven't had any issues getting the supplies. I am using a company called Medigy and using Res-med products. So far my costs with this thing has been around $700 out of pocket, when I pay close to twice that in month for insurance.
  3. ItsNeverEnough

    Music the Greatest mental healer ever

    Music has always helped me when I'm down, or needed motivation. Another really odd thing is that, listening to depressing music while depressed actually makes me feel better. I am metal/post hardcore/rock type music listener, but I have all types of music from country to rap. I usually can't focus on something while I'm listening to music as it grabs my full attention, but lately as I'm having more focusing issues, I suddenly have this super-power. Recently, I've done something I thought I'd honestly never do, and that is listen to worship music while I work. It seems to lift my mood without my full concentration.
  4. ItsNeverEnough


    I'm sorry you are going through this and so many hardships. I wish I could give some solid advice. I would like to say try to meet more people, but I'm actually the worst at it. I know the reason I have no friends is my own fault. I don't water the flowers, as the Sims would say. Have you tried dating websites? Just curious. Putting yourself out there is a great way to reach people. If you don't find anything, you could look it as if you are no worse off, but if you do "catch" anyone it is because they are interested in you. Have you looked into moving in with a room mate? Before I started college I was really reckless, but I was able to find a roommate having no job and no money, after meeting them I explained that I moving to the area for school and will have a job to pay any rent or back-pay rent. Short story: It didn't work out and I was almost homeless, but I have to say it was one of the best things I ever did as I escaped a toxic environment. Tbh, I would have rather been homeless, but I would have always found another way, because when you are faced with something like that it can motivate you do what it takes (or make you hit rock bottom, not sure if you should listen to me lol). Anyway, it changed my perspective. I would not worry about your teeth in regards of what another would think. We tend to take the problems with our appearance and magnify them. My advice there would be to try visualize throwing those thoughts into the trash can every time they pop-up (I'm serious). Besides, you are already taking steps there. Good for you! Lastly, I suggest you think of one thing that you can do now make the biggest positive impact on your life. It may not fix all your issues, but by doing it, it will make everything that much easier. I hope it gets better, and I'm here if you want to talk to someone.
  5. ItsNeverEnough

    New Problems

    Was the CPAP ineffective for you? I am still struggling with mine. Sometimes I take off and have no recollection of it, but usually it is from me waking up to tend to my 1 year old who has bad nights frequently. I'm zombified. and forget to put it back on. Started with the full face mask but no matter what I could not get it comfortable and had too many leaks during the night. I switched to one that covers my nose and it works much better as far comfort and leaks, but I smell everything. I can smell any mild "unscented" soap I use to clean the machine seemingly no matter how much I rinse it - or maybe I'm smelling the hard water I use to clean it (of course distilled in the tank). Then there is the need to clean the thing everyday, I haven't worked it into habit yet, so it still feels like a chore. If I all goes perfectly, then I can feel the difference. Without I have headaches and dry throat.
  6. I've done some searching on the forum and see a lot of posts with some crazy side-effects. From nausea and vomiting, weight loss, brain fog, etc. Has anyone taken or is taking this and not had any serious side effects?
  7. ItsNeverEnough


    Seeing the same advertisement is really just a problem with the system. I've been lucky I suppose, I see ads following the category of my interests, but I rarely ever find any ad interesting. Even as a kid and teen, the catchy jingles would stick with me but I never had a commercial lead me to buy something. Advertisements are a pure annoyance, and it gets worse and worse each year. YouTube as you mentioned, has ads before and after a video, several times in between a video, and now even multiple ads in succession, have you seen that? Ugh. I frequently cast videos from the YouTube android app, and recently the Skip Ad button appears to be glitchy and nonfunctional, and I really believe it's intentional. Facebook places ads in the middle of videos, I just stop watching. I use UBlock Origin with Chrome on my desktop to block ads. On Android I use Brave web-browser has ad-blocker built-in. I go back and forth with Friendly, but I'm currently using it now instead of the Facebook app. I paid the $1 for the Ad-Blocker there. I'll likely look into the 3rd-party Reddit (talk about repetitive ads) and YouTube apps to rid Ads from those. I understand this is how these sites get their revenue but its just too much for me lately. *insert Toy Story meme* Ads... Ads everywhere.
  8. ItsNeverEnough

    Honesty a sign of weakness?

    Honesty is not a weakness, it's a strength. It can be hard to be honest because of the destruction that can be caused. When you are being called to give your honesty, you should try your best to provide it where/to whom it is appropriate.
  9. ItsNeverEnough

    Living without Sex

    I've heard both a man and a woman explicitly tell me they could not have an intimate relationship without sex in casual discussion. I think for a lot of people it is essential. I am very back and forth on this, some periods of my life I've felt like I could live without it. It was too much of an emotional and mental effort (<-- pretty embarrassing thing to say). The bottom-line for me is: If my anti-depressant was preventing me from having sex, I'm more than likely to quit the anti-depressant than sex. I think sexual drive can be one of the most powerful movers in the brain (while it lasts ) and that sorta shows even when physical desire is lost.
  10. ItsNeverEnough


    Hi Epictetus, thanks for reaching out. I am doing better today than I was few days ago. Mainly due to what I believe was the discontinued use of a new medication I was prescribed which was causing me anxiety. Something that was suppose to supplement my current medication was actually heightening the problems to where I was before I took any meds at all. Consequently, it may have caused me to be more outspoken or social, and so I'm hoping that is something I can keep. I feel like I am almost back to my normal self and I am holding to a good outlook for the new year. Odd years have always treated me better, so I hope that stays true.
  11. ItsNeverEnough

    New Problems

    The isuses I explained here are more than enough for me. My hope was that maybe it was just one condition that resulted in everything else and maybe I'm just getting the symptoms treated. Didn't expect a diagnosis or anything. Putting them out there felt like just maybe some else could have similar problems and found something that worked for more than one illness.
  12. ItsNeverEnough

    Weighted Blankets?

    I just watched video from SciShow on YouTube about this yesterday. Though not well researched there are some studies that show its effectiveness in different areas. I personally like the feeling of weight over me, it is comforting, so I can see how it would work but I have not yet tried one of these blankets or sleeping with weight applied.
  13. ItsNeverEnough


    Thank you everyone for the kind welcome! I am so glad I found this forum. BeyondWeary, that is exactly what it means! It seems like I'm never content with my life. Its so hard to just enjoy what you have and relax, even when you know you should. It's never enough for me.
  14. ItsNeverEnough

    New Problems

    Thank you. Yes, I have had my blood tested related to thyroid around the time I got the anti-depressant, and it came back normal. But that is interesting because my mother had Thyroid disease and I did have a slightly enlarged thyroid in 2012 that went unexplained (it went away on the next doctor's visit, and tests back then also came back normal). I am definitely going to try the alarm thing tonight. If that worked it would be great! Yea, it seems school wasn't for me either, at least in the beginning. When I actually became interested in the school work in my early teens and really tried, I still found it hard to focus. I ended up getting a G.E.D. In college it was different for me, I guess because I had more freedom. It was tough but my perfectionist nature at that time wanted to do the best I could cause I needed to better my life.
  15. ItsNeverEnough

    New Problems

    Bupropion (Wellbutrin) is the new med, Sertraline (Zoloft) is the anti-depressant I've been on. After being on the new medication I've noticed an increased food cravings and libido. Hyperactive is the perfect term for me then. Helps to know some here faces similar/same problems, comforting and tad scary.