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About Nekoz

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  1. I think you should open yourself to the possibility that you two can never be together (at least not as lovers). I know it's hard to think of losing someone you loved so deeply. But, it's something we must face living in this world. And, i've already said this so many times on here. Love is tricky, love is a hardship, love is caring, love is bittersweet. Love is a everyday struggle for so many. Love is the most beautiful, heartbreaking, thing anyone can ever go through. Let me ask you this, are you willing to die for her, are you willing to put yourself through hell for this person? Are you willing to give up everything for her? Are you willing to do all this and so much more even if she never loves you back? To me love is willing to do anything for the other person just to make them smile through there pain. Love is giving the other your heart and letting them have the power to shatter into a million pieces. This may seem like a lot and it is but, when your in love, all of this seems almost, in a way, irrelevant. Love isn't a feeling, it's a way of life. It is life. This is just my opinion from what I experienced. And who knows, if you don't feel this way about her, maybe you eventually will. If you do feel this way, then i'd say your definitely in love with her. Of course, as I said, this is all my opinion and what I think. I may be completely off and this is nothing what love is really like. So don't take any of this seriously. I hope that you can work things out and make the right choices whatever they might be.
  2. Sometimes, life can really suck. Life was not meant to be easy and it never will be. You can make it almost anything you want it to be and it's different for everyone. However, i've found that it has three common truths for everyone, love, hope, pain. Pain of loss and sorrow, long held guilt and regrets. But, don't get worked up, instead, hope and expect a better future. Love life for all it is and all it can be.
  3. Same, I can feel like there's just no one that understands me. And gaming communities can be rough, I usually go lone wolf as long as possible and try to find a friendly clan or group that's active and high lvl.
  4. Don't give up hope on finding someone. You've just run into the wrong girls, they can be tricky and hard to understand. Don't worry about it though, the right one will show up someday. Just wait it out and keep searching. She's out there probably looking for you, the one she doesn't know she needs yet. It's hard to accept but it is true, trust me, you'll find her one day.
  5. Love is a tricky thing and in various forms, we all go through heartbreak because of love. For one, I can understand both sides. She may not want to have children because of your ages. And you have made it clear that you really want children and your wife used to want children. And no, I don't think your being selfish. Quite a bit of us want children and it's natural to want one or take one in. It's as one might say, part of human nature. What I would do is just approach this in a different way. Just simply ask what she's feeling not directly about children, just over all and about life. I may be wrong, about all of this, but it sounds like she's going through something or maybe went through something that solidified her resolve against not having children. If your love for her was true and hers is, you two will come back together. I can understand being scared of being in the same room with her and I think this action alone shows your love for her. To be scared of losing something we love is a fear we all struggle with time to time. You do have to take action though, no matter how scary or hard it might be. Take the first step and connect with her, make things right with her. Then you can play with the idea of children. If she doesn't respond back and let you in, it's her loss. (sorry if any of this might have offended you in anyway.)
  6. I don't have a spouse and i'm probably not qualified to help but, i'll try (and i'm sorry if any of this might offend you). Love goes two ways and i'm sure you understand that by now, trust and honesty is another important key. So just be honest with her, tell her you know this is hard and that everything seems hopeless. Tell her that no matter what you love her and won't stop. Let her know that what you say is true, show her that you won't leave her alone in this fight. Love her with all your heart and do everything you can to help her. If you do all this you've done all you can. After this it's her turn and she has to do her part. I agree with what foreigner has mentioned above. It may be hard, but you may have to accept that you need to move on. However, I would give her a little bit more time to absorb and think over this before mention such things as divorce. Love is powerful and can fix and mend many things. But, it can also be used to destroy. This is what it means to love someone and give them your heart. To give them everything, to give them power, power to destroy each other and power to experience the most precious feeling. Love is truly special, a feeling we all yearn for yet can hate at the same time.
  7. It may feel like your wasting away and I think all of us have not wanted to do something we probably should. And we can't help it, it's a part of who we are and we can't change that. However we can work to better ourselves and others and in the process we help ourselves. It's a little bit of good a little bit at a time. To me this worth my life.
  8. As to this question, yes, I have met both in person. I was introduced to them online though.
  9. About a year ago, I joined a game community. On there I met a girl, my age (we actually have the same exact birthdate), super cute, caring, loving, and she just felt so different from every else. As if everyone was dead and she was the only one alive. Now up till then, I was severely depressed with life and just really didn't care about much. However, when I met her, everything changed (if I was dead, then she made me feel alive). At first we were just friends and we got along really well. But, the longer we were friends the closer and more intimate we got. I don't remember how exactly it happened but we just ended up dating. There were problems early on and we weren't super serious. Later, we ended up having a break-up, it was partially both of us that caused it. After this, (happened in about a time period of 2 1/2 months) things returned to normal and I was dating a couple random girls to see if I liked them. (between the time that she was gone to the point she came back was approximately 3 months) She, showed up again in my life though and we had a very short period together about 2 weeks, but we grew really close in that time frame. She left, disappeared, just one simple answer as to why's she gone and sometimes we'd talk every now and then. And then... she disappeared... again. I was hurting really bad. About 3 1/2 months later, I run into her in the most unexpected place. I contacted her, wanted to know how she's doin' and so forth. We talked extremely briefly and then we didn't talk with each other till' a week later... She contacted me, she asked if she could ask me a personal question (I said yes and she seemed serious and gloomy, unlike herself). Her exact words were, "what would you do, if you had a short amount of time left." She apparently has a condition called Friedrich's Ataxia, to sum it up, she was going to die. After that, as much as possible, everyday we talked together. We didn't want to have a relationship not in this state and it just didn't seem right at all. However, it did up serious, and I can say that 100%, I was truly in love with this girl (it was the same for her). There was a surgery she could take that would save her life (or possibly end it in the process). She took it and came out alive. She was precious to me and we freely loved. She disappeared though and left me heartbroken. Now, let me explain that this girl I love also had a very close friend (she was part of the reason for our first break up). I turned to her during most of this time for support because we dearly missed her (and the girl that kept disappearing didn't do it on purpose, she had to leave every single time). Me and her (the one that was always there, were going to call girl 2 and the one who had FA were going to call girl 1) we grew close and developed sort of a relationship ourselves. When Girl 1 went missing this time I was completely shattered and girl 2 was devastated. We grew close or closer over this time period (bout' 3 weeks). And ultimately I ended up falling in love with Girl 2 also (she loved me back). Later when Girl 1 came back she was heartbroken herself that is was Girl 2 (she preferred anyone but Girl 2 for me). I decided to love them both, but Girl 1 left quickly promising she would be back, and has told me multiple times to forget her and move on to Girl 2 and love her completely. I refused, however as you can guess, girl 1 is gone again and I don't know what to do. I'm desperate, but I just can't do anything without breaking one of they're hearts and mine. I love them both, more than anything, i'd give up everything and anything for them. I notice that this is long and i'm sorry that it is (this is the short version...). I thank you for taking your time to read this in it's entirety and it's probably not well written (wrote this at 4:00AM and just finishing at 4:57). Once again i'm very sorry and I appreciate all of you for just reading this. Thank you, you have no idea how much it means to me to just get this out there.
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