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Ratvan last won the day on June 7 2019

Ratvan had the most liked content!


About Ratvan

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 11/28/1985

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Leeds, UK
  • Interests
    Football, Aquariums, Cats, Dogs, Aikido, Muay Thai, Boxing, Downhill BMX, Protesting, volunteering, mentoring

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  1. Been taking it easy while still working, it has given me the time to think and reflect on things which is nice. I am still worried a lot about how angry I get in arguments. I know that everybody argues but these rows are getting crazy now. Honestly I say some truly horrific and hurtful things and all I can think is that i have turned into my father or step dad and I really hate that. They are both men that I wouldn't wish children to be around, to see myself turning into them is horrible
  2. Yeah 6-8 weeks, at least I'm working from home so I won't miss out on pay. I managed to get my shoulder back in myself. But might require surgery on it later depends on how the rotator cuff heals. The morphine allergy was the scariest. In seconds my vision tunnelled and my ears went muffled. My heart rate jumped from 52BPM to nearly 100 and yeah got a free adrenaline shot so that was fun
  3. I fell down the stairs, broke my collarbone and dislocated my shoulder. Good news was I was only at the hospital for an hour and a half. Including X rays and an allergic reaction to morphine
  4. Trying to listen to a Rancid Album - All the Moon stompers Actually listening to jackhammer outside my window
  5. Hi Paige, welcome aboard. Hope things start to pick up for you soon
  6. Random girl in the bar last night was flirting with me, haven't had that attention in a long while
  7. I'm with you, I think it is part of the reason why i am so angry, well that and its not a good time of the year for me. I am lucky i still have my Mrs, I really want to make this a good time of the year for her, but at the moment I just can't do that I feel like i am nothing more than a weight around these people's necks at the moment I'm going to get our Tree in from outside today and might decorate it and try and get into the swing of things, even if I have to fake happiness for a few more days 100%, the only good thing is the sales, can get all my birthdays and Christmas shopping done in the Boxing Day Sales
  8. Feeling like I should leave this country now
  9. Made it down safely and glad I didnt give up yesterday. Had a great day on a couple of beaches in my hometown with my brother and his dog. Very tired now and found some cool sharks teeth and fossilised Urchins
  10. It's a hard day today (2 years since my Grandad Passed) I just cant seem to focus, I'm not down (i dont think) I just cannot summon the energy to do anything at work other than be here and the simplest tasks. Got to go to my brother's house tonight which is nice apart from the 6 hour drive...
  11. angry and explosive, like my fuse is the tiniest stub at the minute
  12. Glad to hear it, I am sore as anything this morning and feeling extremely run down. I feel this way everytime I get my bloods and marrow tested
  13. It's coming up to the 2nd anniversaries of my cluster and I find it so strange that I feel like my entire life has been exactly like this and all I've ever known is this strange hollowness that just sits in the middle of me and yet it's so very heavy for something so empty. And yet the pain feels like it happened today 🤷‍♂️
  14. I've been talking to the Mrs about something like this, i'm planning on a bit of travel next year (for 6 months or so) and would love to meet some people off here, more to put a face to the name than anything else. I have a few friends on other forums that i'd love to visit. Also thinking about doing something like this for the elderly in my community, not MMA obviously, maybe something tamer like Thai Chi
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