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MargotMontage

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Everything posted by MargotMontage

  1. So, everyone, I want to be helpful on these forums. I really do. You're all amazingly strong people going through stuff you dont' deserve. Problem is, I'm often not here. I'm sick a lot, I had a breakdown again recently, and I just don't think I'm that supportive overall. I"m away for long periods of time. But I wanted to say keep fighting! Don't give up! And don't let anyone who doesn't 'get it' tell you what to do or how you should feel. Sorry I'm not the best help out there, but I want to say that you all deserve the best!
  2. Strange that a few people are saying that, because I, too, just had another breakdown. Maybe it's because we're all miserable about it, or coincidence, but I dunno anymore.
  3. Well, seems like she's an ok therapist then, even if she asked you why you were still coming.
  4. Wow, those are two huge slices of news. I'm incredibly sorry about your friend, but very happy for your other friend. Don't beat yourself up about feeling happy, though. Your best friend knows you care, and wouldn't want you not to celebrate the good news while you mourn the bad.
  5. Hi Irene Iesu! I wish I'd seen this post sooner, because I want to say YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR DOCTOR ASAP!!!!! This is a huge warning signal on this medication for a life threatening side effect that could develop if you don't discontinue soon. In fact, even if your doctor is in doubt that it's lamictal, I would strongly suggest switching to something else. I, too, developed a rash on Lamictal, and my doctor didn't want to believe me, but I had photographs of the rash and backup from family members who had seen it, so he was forced to work with me on that. The side effect in question is horrific, so please don't wait! If that's what is developing, you will not regret getting off the stuff.
  6. Could be angelic, I guess, or God. I'm not a theologian, but I have heard a minister say, in answer to the 'Is God male?' question, that God is both more male than we can understand, and more female than we can understand. (So I guess that would count for everything in between also? I dunno, I'm just mentioning it.) So it could have been God's presence. Whatever it was, I hope it visits you often.
  7. Yeah, I know what you mean. Depression makes it hard to control habits and impulses. I, too, love staying up late when I'm having certain mental issues, (and certain side effects!) but then my depression is way worse. (I also like video games, which does not help at all when I get like that. Nor does watching David Lynch stuff late at night and freaking myself out! But I digress.) I understand what you mean about how being a good person can stuff you up mentally sometimes. I wouldn't say I'm an amazingly good person AT ALL, but it means that your conscience is always buzzing in a way that not so good people don't have to deal with, and if you add social awkwardness into it, (which I do have,) it's many times worse, because you can get hung up on interactions that went badly, lost opportunities, etc. And guilt, too. Don't worry about not feeling capable. Just take one minute at a time.
  8. I think that's human nature. It's like the line in Alice in Wonderland: 'I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.' Hang in there! I know it sucks, but just try and follow your own advice, starting with small things, and see how far you can get this year. It'll make a difference, bit by bit!
  9. Hey there! Not sure if this is relevant to you, but could it be possible that the echoes of your thoughts might be a medication side effect? This happened to me once, and it's good to rule out possible causes. I hope you'll be ok. Remember you can come here if things are feeling too much.
  10. That's great! I'm glad you got to meet someone on the phone for the first time, and that you have parted with your ex on good terms. This is the best way to try and end a relationship, (even if the other person didn't deserve it, I might add, since it's more about your mental health than who did what to whom. And I'm not sure I got who and whom right there, so sorry if I didn't. I'm no expert, and I'll be honest about that here. 😂) Back to serious talk: I'm about to part with several members of my family to help my mental health, and I want it to be on good terms, too, even if we are technically 'estranged', from here on in.) I hope you'll do ok for now, and I'm glad you can always come back here, (like I do,) if you need a community. Those herbal brownies sound useful. I suspect they're not legal where I'm at right now, but since I'm moving, they may be there. Do you buy them, or make them up yourself?
  11. This is in no way your fault. When I was still able to work, I had that exact same problem, (except at a job I would otherwise have liked,) and I had to accept it wasn't me, and I had to just move through it as best I could. If they 'despise' you no matter what you do, it does at least mean that you can feel however you want and not care at all what they think, which can be very freeing.
  12. Welcome, Divinely Desolate! I'm Margot Montage. I'm really glad you've decided to join the forums! They're a great support group for people experiencing situations such as yours. I hope you get a lot of benefit from this community. I find that the more you interact, the more you get out of it, so I'd encourage you to try and post in a thread at least once a day if you're feeling up to it. That's how you get to recognize people and learn about one another, which leads to better support and empathy all round. I also hope that life becomes kinder to you soon, especially considering your breakup, and that you find the real life support you need!
  13. It's ok, I know what you mean. I guess that life can be like a David Lynch movie in that way: Do you laugh, or cry, or both? Is it weird, or normal, or can it be classified at all? Life is Strange. (Don't sue me, video game maker. I only referenced the title, didn't steal it! 😉) Anyhow, I hope you'll be ok.
  14. You're being a good friend, anxiousE. With these problems, that's all you can do. While you can point her in the right direction, she ultimately has to try and grapple with the symptoms herself. It doesn't hurt to have backup and support, (in fact, it's essential, and it's great that you're giving her what so many in her position don't have!) but you can't fix it. You can only help her with the process. You are DEFINITELY valuable in this situation! I know because all of us need a friend like you, but not everyone gets it. She's very lucky to have you, even if you don't always feel that way. But you do have to practice self care, and distance yourself if needed.
  15. I understand. There's no need to share anything you don't want to. Just knowing that others get it helps a lot. I do hope you can find appropriate help if you need it. It's important to remember that if you don't feel comfortable with the service you recieve, or have any problems with medications, you must stand firm in what you know is true about your situation, and don't let anybody push you around or make you feel small. The only acceptable help is when it actually HELPS you; not when people take your money for nothing. Remember that you're worth something, and keep trying!
  16. That really blows. I'm sorry. I understand what you mean. I generally shy away from romantic relationships for that sort of reason. I also hate ghosting. I feel like if people don't want to try and use messaging in a way that at least resembles conversation in polite society, they shouldn't message at all, and should make it clear that they can't be expected to answer messages beforehand. (I feel a bit differently on, for example, these forums, because the people here are all going through difficulty and pain, so it's reasonable if folk need time offline or don't answer at once. I don't think this counts with people on regular social media, though, if they have a real life relationship and they're not willing to be civil with the other person.) I feel like you might be better off without this person. Don't settle for someone who doesn't treat you like you deserve to be treated.
  17. Well, I'd be happy to take on the role of chef.
  18. Oh no, I'm so sorry! It's terrible news, but remember to take care of yourself while you look out for her. Hold out for the best outcome.
  19. Wow, that's wonderful news! I'm so happy for you! I really hope the job goes extremely well! What's the cat's name?
  20. I feel you. I get that about going outside. It's a great day, I love the outdoors, and yet ... I feel there's no point. It sucks big time.
  21. Interesting. I get that sometimes. Is it ok to ask what the med was?
  22. I know what you mean. I also found a job field to be unfulfilling after a lot of work, and haven't been able to switch gears due to my health deteriorating. I think the worst thing in the world is to fulfill your dream and realize it doesn't make things better. I think that's worse than not getting a chance to fulfill it, because you can still dream if you don't have it. But some people just feel more deeply than others; see more than others. Life's not the same for those people, even if they do find their dream. Perhaps you need a new dream. A better dream. Or maybe dreams are just dreams and can't be fulfilled on earth by those who feel too keenly. But I don't think hope is gone. Not yet. Still, I'm not in your shoes, so that's easy for me to say.
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