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About steelrage

  • Birthday 06/27/1983

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  1. I swapped from Pristiq to Effexor XR. Didn't feel any withdrawals, but I went frrom Pristiq to 75mg of Effexor XR. What i noticed is that on Effexor, my anxiety attacks were much less, but depression was more noticeable. I gave that feedback to my psychiatrist, and they increased my dosage to 150mg. Been on that for about a week, and it seems to be working well for me, for now.
  2. Hey everyone, thanks for your response and words. Its been almost 2 weeks since I switched to Effexor XR, what I have noticed is that I tend to have lesser panic attacks, but on the other hand, I've been feelinga little more depressed lately. I often feel as if I have a gaping holeopening up near my solar plexus. Am not sure if my dosage is too low or what. Pros : lesser panic attacks, cons : Back to feeling sad and depressed.Arghh
  3. I used to have 2 dogs.. now i have a cat. Effexor XR seems to be doing a good job for now, but i'm experiencing a really low mood today after about a week on it.
  4. Sounds very similar to my experiences. Okay, I must admit, last August after the scare of being admitted to a hospital, the first thing I did was purchase a fitness tracker which tracks my heartrate. It is right now my crutch. I wouldn't leave home without it in fear that something would happen. Its like a double edge sword, I take solace in knowing where I am and yet knowing where I am scares the bejeezus out of me. I really need to look into meditation or something along that likes.
  5. My hospital just ran out of Pristiq and they have given me effexor instead. I have an appointment in the middle of this month with the psychiatrist. Will consult with him as well. apart from that I really need to find an affordable psychologist where i'm at. being broke sucks.
  6. Hi there, I've been on Pristiq for about 6 months or so, whilst it does help with the depression. I've been having constant panic attacks lately. I commute on a motorcycle to and from work. I currently work freelance in theatre, as I don't really dare to take up full time employment as my heart races every now and then. These past 2 days, I was commuting to the theatre and whilst riding I noticed that my heart rate would suddenly go form 90 to 120 - 130 and i feel an on set of an anxiety attack. I would then search for a clinic to feel 'safe' and stop there whilst i recuperate. Today, I suppose I got so freaked out I actually walked in to the clinic and saw a doctor who checked me and told me that my heart rate was fine and my blood pressure was actually 'perfect' Would anyone know how to deal with this attacks. I really need to stop feeling this way. I want to live a life.
  7. Completely stopped Escitalopram and started on Pristiq... feels great.. no withdrawals from lexapro yet.. but i do have curbed appetite at the moment.
  8. Today I switched Hospitals and my psychiatrist, I spoke to him about my previous doctor recommended that I'd be on Pristiq since I couldn't take 20mg of Lexapro. Now, I've read some people saying that during switching of drugs, I should be weaned of Lexapro then introducing Pristiq, but my doctor did not tell me this. So is it okay to switch straight away? The good thing that came out of this is that, since I visited a Military Hospital, my medications is at a super low price or sometimes even free.
  9. I'm really praying that my hospital manages to schedule me with a psychologist soon. I can't afford private psychologists cause they cost just too damn expensive. It's been hard. I find that I feel lonely a lot more these days, upping my dosage to 20mg made me feel really uncomfortable, almost as if i was extra energetic so I spoke to my psychiatrist and told her I would rather remain on 15mg for the time being, until I can afford to switch to Pristiq. I vocalise random thoughts alot more these days, sometimes just blurting out "I don't know" randomly to myself, or maybe just break into weird ass noises in the middle of the night. I sure as hell hope that this is brought on by stress / depression and not that I'm losing my mind.
  10. No worries mate! I think its something a lot of us tend to forget
  11. It appears sometimes when I'm really down I do a lot of self reflection. And sometimes just sometimes I put my thoughts of discoveries to pen and paper (or in this case on the keyboard and screen.) Written back in June 2018 _________________________________________________ Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Perhaps because I suddenly have a lot of time alone, or maybe I’ve just beginning to ask myself what do I really want? I still don’t really have the answer to that, I’m not even sure if everyone or anyone knows what they want but, at least now I’m not letting people dictate or or expect people to give me an idea so I can hit the ground running. This is my journey and mine alone. Mistakes were made, and they were mine. Sure deep inside, I’ve had certain factors that drove me to do certain things or make choices. I think today, I’ve narrowed it down to this.... to finding home. These four letters, might just a place of dwelling to most. A place to go back to after their day, a destination to rest. But I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I had one. I’ve always felt out off place, even in the house I grew up in. Somehow, I just never felt like I could measure up. I was never as good, and what I did achieve was watered down by the saying “you only won because you were they best of the worst”. These words stuck, they affected me, I let them affect me. These words made me ungrateful, because I just wanted more, and more and more. To avoid being compared., I started do things differently so ‘they’ could see me . They started story-telling, I started singing. They rode cross country mountain bikes, I instead did downhill biking. People played football, I played field hockey. People play pool or snooker, I played foosball. Going back to the word home. This word is probably still what I crave. Growing up being of mixed parentage, made me feel alienated by my peers in primary school, hated by most in secondary school (saying that doesn’t excuse the fact that I could have probably been hated because I was asshole at certain times), but yes I was still searching for home. I’ve been searching for home for a very very long time now. The thing is, as I kept searching for home in every corner, with my own family, with my people I know, with acquaintances , friends. I’ve come to realise that I wanted people to make me a home. To build one for me. To accept me. But something clicked tonight, home could mean more than just where you belong, or where you’re taken in. Home is not living through someone else’s eyes or lives.Home cannot be in someone else. It appears that I’ve been looking everywhere, except in one place. So today, I am home... I am home... I am, home...
  12. That is really great to hear. I was getting a little worried about if I was losing the plot or something. My psychiatrist is trying to schedule me with an appointment with a psychologist and I'm hoping that comes up really quick. Oh yes, is this forum for Americans only? Cause I'm kinda like situated in Malaysia.. heh
  13. Hi guys, I found this forum because I was trying to find out more about the medication I'm currently on. I've been on Lexapro for nearly 2 months. It all started when I was hospitalised on the 28th of August 2018. I had a sudden spike in my blood pressure and I had a fainting feeling and I was rushed to the hospital as the GP didn't understand hat was happening. And even though I spent 4 days in the hospital, my bloodwork came back normal and everything else was normal too, with the sudden spikes in blood pressure still happened. Deep down, I knew that I was going through that due to extreme exhaustion and stressas I've been keeping myself busy to take my mind of the issues I was dealing with. I'd work from 9am to 6 pm, and then rush off for rehearsals for theatre shows I was working on. And I kept that up for nearly 8 months straight. Once discharged, I visited my GP again and she did hint that I might have some anxiety and depression issues, which I then followed up by visiting a psychiatry clinic in a government run hospital here. Upon consultation and speaking to me, the doctor did agree that I have anxiety and depression thus started me off on Escitalopram at 5mg for 2 weeks, then on to 10mg to 15 mg, and I've just started taking 20mg of it since Monday. The reason why she started me on 20mg was because I still felt really depressed and moody. She initially wanted to put me on Pristiq, but unfortunately I was unable to afford it and asked if it was okay to up my dosage until I can secure myself a new job. So thats me in a nutshell.... Now on to my question. What I've discovered lately, once I was upped to 20mg, is that my mood did improve. But I feel like I'm a little bit more energetic, but I have also caught myself talking to myself out loud. I don't know if this sounds weird, but has anyone encountered that? Its not like I'm having conversations with myself, I have just been remarking things like "This is boring" when watchign a video on youtube and etc. Anyone would mind chiming in?
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