I have all these great ideas and tasks I want to accomplish and somewhere along the line it becomes to much and I stop
I am constantly procrastinating and spend so much time thinking of doing things that I get exhausted
There's definitely something wrong, I don't have any sense of urgency, but when I think about how I'm going to pay for it in the far future, I get this creeping but subtle feeling of uneasiness.Or during brief periods of time when I am in the middle of wasting my time that I seem to realize that I could be doing something more productive.
I have very little motivation to do anything, it's just my obsession in academics that keeps me going. Like I definitely should be doing this, for no concrete reason at all. I am currently a student of the sciences, but I don't really have any ideals about what I am going to do with all the technical knowledge I am trying to pile up. I just want to learn. I my field of study is really interesting for me, but fear of not using it or being fired again have me uncertain. I try positive self talk but that only works just so long. have to have lights on (I can't stand the dimness of rainy days)
Sometimes I'd try looking for self-help blogs, but in my mind, even trying to do it is a chore. When I am reading those kinds of articles, what I really want to do is just mechanically try emulating what is written in there, and maybe somehow, everything has gotten better without me noticing.
I am not very optimistic (but there is something there that lead me to this search for help). that something will change after posting this, but of course, if there can be help available to me that's just a click away and without it being too demanding then I'd take it. I'm currently on Effexor and Wellbutrin