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Atra

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  1. Like
    Atra reacted to Nightjar in Epictetus' 'Keep it or sell it Game', Part 2   
    Yay! Keep for my garden, in case the pesky river gets a bit too friendly Arrr! 🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️
    An assorted tin collection? 🤔
  2. Like
    Atra reacted to Lady Mozzer in A-Z: Famous People/Characters #4   
    Queen Latifah
  3. Like
    Atra reacted to sober4life in A-Z: Famous People/Characters #4   
    Robot Chicken
  4. Like
    Atra reacted to Svenetc in How do you break loose ?   
    Late answer , but an answer. Well i start at the last question of yours ... my shell seems to be there but keeps failing anymore. I have to protect that shell and as well be " me" .So for that it works but does not work.. " Me" takes over all the time.Second point is well said too. I do the same. If the questions comes up of how I am doing .... i respond authentic. The way I feel is the way people read me anyway. That is the thing. I can't hide. I can be funny and feisty, sarcastic and quiet. But whoever I am with or I am talking to can read the "truth". So the know I am not fine , no matter how I sugar-coat it. That is what sucks. That is why I want to break loose from myself and shake that constant looming sword of another  "sad day ". I hope that makes sense.
  5. Like
    Atra reacted to anon22ae in depression is caused by unresolved anger   
    Depression tends to eliminate anger (along with other emotions), so it would seem that it should resolve any unresolved anger and thus go away by itself. But it doesn't, which seems to throw a wrench into that hypothesis...
  6. Like
    Atra got a reaction from sober4life in How do you break loose ?   
    Yep, much of what you wrote makes sense as it applies to me. 
    The "How am I doing" question. I've swung back and forth like a pendulum on this one.
    When my depression and anxiety symptoms were raging, I'd respond to it with a single word. Whatever that word was, I hoped it would discourage further conversation!
    When my symptoms went into remission, I'd respond authentically and at length--too much information! And that discouraged further conversation, too.
    Now, I'm working on a two-sentence reply that both respects the value I place on authenticity, but also acknowledges that this question is most often intended to be an exchange of pleasantries. 
    I'm a bit tired today, I'm feeling a bit anxious given all that's going on and I'm so glad to see you! How are you doing?
    You also wrote about "hiding in a shell" but you don't think it's protecting you. What about your 🐚 shell is not serving a protective function?
  7. Like
    Atra got a reaction from Svenetc in How do you break loose ?   
    Yep, much of what you wrote makes sense as it applies to me. 
    The "How am I doing" question. I've swung back and forth like a pendulum on this one.
    When my depression and anxiety symptoms were raging, I'd respond to it with a single word. Whatever that word was, I hoped it would discourage further conversation!
    When my symptoms went into remission, I'd respond authentically and at length--too much information! And that discouraged further conversation, too.
    Now, I'm working on a two-sentence reply that both respects the value I place on authenticity, but also acknowledges that this question is most often intended to be an exchange of pleasantries. 
    I'm a bit tired today, I'm feeling a bit anxious given all that's going on and I'm so glad to see you! How are you doing?
    You also wrote about "hiding in a shell" but you don't think it's protecting you. What about your 🐚 shell is not serving a protective function?
  8. Like
    Atra got a reaction from juno_writes in depression is caused by unresolved anger   
    Really impressive insights here folks. 👍
    Yeah I don't find reductive expressions about complexities like depression appealing. There is just one kind of depression, just one cause? Waat? 
    I've heard this worded as "depression is anger turned inward". For some folks, that's probably true. For others just having a Dopamine deficiency in the brain manifests as depression. What's that have to do with "unresolved anger"?
    🙈 Well, I dunno Atra...maybe you're angry at being short on neurotransmitters, buddy. 
    😒 Just a different way of telling us depression is in fact all our fault. I wish I was an octopus so I could slap that person 8 times. 
  9. Like
    Atra reacted to Evergreenforst4 in depression is caused by unresolved anger   
    Epicetus your post is very insightful about perfectionism.
    I believe anger is more of a stimulant while depression is more of a depressant. Psychologically I think anger cames from percieved injustice and depression comes from feelings of loss or abandonment.
    I say percieve because sometimes our ideas can be wrong or life ambigious. The flip side is that many people do try to take advantage of this such as in real estate where people artificially inflate assests for loans and deflate them for tax season.
    Overall, I have found for me the best way to proceed is to always validate your feelings and investigate them the root causes. Sometimes its a misunderstanding, sometimes its not. Feelings are like sensors.
  10. Like
    Atra reacted to sober4life in depression is caused by unresolved anger   
    I don't think it's possible to resolve my anger.  Look at the world.  Who wouldn't be angry?  Why am I depressed?  I guess it's because I've been lied to my whole life.  I know they do it to keep us going but why are we really doing any of this?  That's the theme really an endless bitter face through everything.  Nothing is anywhere close to as good as we're told it is.  Of course where would we be though if someone like me always told the truth of how awful things really will be.  I don't think anyone is happy with day to day life.
  11. Like
    Atra reacted to JD4010 in depression is caused by unresolved anger   
    @EpictetusI agree with your views above. I know there's a genetic basis for my depression (both of my parents had it, though I didn't know it at the time).  A lot of my depression also stems from a profoundly negative self-image and constant frustration with what should be the easy things in life. 
    I dunno...my opinions only of course.
  12. Like
    Atra reacted to Epictetus in depression is caused by unresolved anger   
    I think there is a lot of truth in what you write about anger and depression.  My feeling [and it is nothing more than a feeling since I am a non-professional] is that depression even in 2021 is still poorly understood. 
    I tend to believe that the genesis of depression involves many different factors such as heritability, whether genetic or social, stress, trauma, unresolved anger, loss of something or someone considered essential to one's survival, well-being or happiness, possible brain pathologies, dysfunctional thinking styles and so on.  Of course, not being a physician or medical professional, what do I know?
    "Perfectionism" as an attitude has often been linked to depressogenic causality.  One with a perfectionist attitude tends to look at himself or herself, others and things and events in the world from a very narrow perspective:  "could be better but isn't better."  This attitude tends to habiltually engender a set of feelings and moods:  frustration, aggravation, anger or rage, disappointment and hopelessness.
    Many sociologists have speculated that in cultures that are not perfectionist, in cultures where people's default attitude seems to be "could be worse, but isn't worse" there is generally more happiness, more contentment, more appreciation and gratitude, more peace of mind and joy of living.  But who knows?
    These are just my fallible opinions.  The philosopher Aristotle once said:  "An opinion is one half of a contradiction that one holds while not being completely sure that the other half of the contradiction might be true."   While I hold opinions about depression, I am quite conscious of the fact that I could be very wrong.  I have certainly been wrong about many things in my life.
    I hope you get many responses to your post and from people more experienced, knowledgeable, insightful and wiser than me!  Best to you!
  13. Like
    Atra reacted to nojoy in depression is caused by unresolved anger   
    Recently, I read a post (shared by a "so-called friend") that depression is nothing more than unresolved anger. And if a depressed person dealt with his unresolved anger, he would no longer be depressed. 
    Yes, I admit that when I get hurt by people, I do get angry.  I can take a lot of hurt for so long but I do get angry after so much. Do I think that anger caused my depression?  No! It has been proved that when I get the correct or appropriate  dosage of anti-depressives, I  am able to function in the world.  I think that the depression can lead to anger, just being unable to cope with different situations can cause sadness, or being overwhelm  can lead to difficulties.  All of these I think are symptoms of depression.  
    So any friends want to weigh in on this.
    BY the way the "so- called friend" has been unfriended. With people like that I don't need enemies!
     
  14. Like
    Atra reacted to Lady Mozzer in The Song Game #7   
    Dreams ~ Fleetwood Mac
  15. Like
    Atra reacted to Nightjar in Gratitude - Mention At Least Three Things You   
    1. I'm grateful for DF. In my darkest hour it was DF that pulled me through. 
    2.I'm grateful that I haven't given up on the things I find difficult. I could very easily be a terrified recluse because I've had a raw deal with people and panic attacks in every corner of the universe. 
    3. I'm grateful for my car. I'm really grateful that I didn't give up on driving. I came close. Panic attacks when doing 70 on the motorway are my least favourite kind 😬 I do avoid motorways now which is a pain in the a$$ but I'm hoping to work on it and thankfully my confidence behind the wheel is improving again since I got back behind it. 
  16. Thanks
    Atra reacted to Floor2017 in Be blessed   
    Good morning everyone try to have yourself one of your best days ever!
  17. Like
    Atra got a reaction from JD4010 in How do you break loose ?   
    Yep, much of what you wrote makes sense as it applies to me. 
    The "How am I doing" question. I've swung back and forth like a pendulum on this one.
    When my depression and anxiety symptoms were raging, I'd respond to it with a single word. Whatever that word was, I hoped it would discourage further conversation!
    When my symptoms went into remission, I'd respond authentically and at length--too much information! And that discouraged further conversation, too.
    Now, I'm working on a two-sentence reply that both respects the value I place on authenticity, but also acknowledges that this question is most often intended to be an exchange of pleasantries. 
    I'm a bit tired today, I'm feeling a bit anxious given all that's going on and I'm so glad to see you! How are you doing?
    You also wrote about "hiding in a shell" but you don't think it's protecting you. What about your 🐚 shell is not serving a protective function?
  18. Like
    Atra reacted to JD4010 in How do you break loose ?   
    Yes, I feel the very same way. People might think I'm perfectly fine if they only see my shell. But if they happened to look inside that shell, they'd see a lot of misery and brokenness. 
  19. Like
    Atra reacted to sober4life in How do you break loose ?   
    I'm able to be myself with people where there's no real risk.  If I go out and talk to people I don't know I pretty much just let it fly with no fear because I don't expect to ever see them again so who cares?  I think everyone chooses the safe route while working or when they're with family or talking to neighbors.  I don't think anyone is their full selves when everything seems to be at stake by how you act.
  20. Like
    Atra reacted to Lady Mozzer in The Song Game #7   
    Pale Blue Eyes ~ The Velvet Underground
  21. Like
    Atra got a reaction from duck in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Congrats on your discovery! Learning something new about one's sexuality or preferences, romantic feelings or expressions of it is something joyful, i think. 
    Also, I admire your courage in coming out to family and your partner. 
     
    Today I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed  emotionally. This year has already got me anxious, sad, worried, agitated due to the violence and in addition some recent sad personal news for a couple of people very close to me. So, I'm trying to take on life day by day for now. 
  22. Like
    Atra got a reaction from Epictetus in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Congrats on your discovery! Learning something new about one's sexuality or preferences, romantic feelings or expressions of it is something joyful, i think. 
    Also, I admire your courage in coming out to family and your partner. 
     
    Today I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed  emotionally. This year has already got me anxious, sad, worried, agitated due to the violence and in addition some recent sad personal news for a couple of people very close to me. So, I'm trying to take on life day by day for now. 
  23. Like
    Atra reacted to Sepiraji in Existensial/Death OCD   
    Hello and thanks for your answer!
    In my post I forgot to mention that with my psychologist we tried some ways of CBT, specifically I learned to hold my OCD accountable for the intrusive thoughts, so instead of obsessing with why am I thinkig this, the answer I give is "it's ok it's just my OCD". Another way is to try to ignore it or by saying my thought is just a thought and not the reality. Those things helped immensely but mostly when I bundled them with the psychologist. After some weekly sessions, I started going once every other week then once every three etc. until I stopped because I thought that by going all the time I would be too dependant on the psychologist which realistically is a bad idea long term. I started going last July and stopped this January. So to rephrase my question, in times that you start to "slide back" into more often OCD episodes, is there anything you can do other than go back to the psychologist?
    Thanks in advance!
  24. Like
    Atra reacted to AllisonM in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Coming out to my family as bisexual going well and glad it went great.Still supportive and gets better.Have a girlfriend,Gretchen in my life whom is also a pre op transsexual.Gretchen and I talked today,said she wanted to know me more and said I liked her as well.
  25. Like
    Atra reacted to AllisonM in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Learned through my transition starting 2 years ago,I would discover things new about me
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