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Atra

Silver Member
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Atra last won the day on February 1

Atra had the most liked content!

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About Atra

  • Rank
    Silver Member

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    San Francisco, California
  • Interests
    Cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, podcasts, theater, opera, wine, food, crunchy-looking leaves on the sidewalk, walking, meditation, skepticism, travel.

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  1. Thank you for sharing this @Lundi_Hvalursson. Reading your experiences, I'm reminded of people I've met who have a trauma response to touch. So I've learned to ask people whose acquaintances I make, "do you do hugs?" And sometimes their reply is, "No. Thank you for asking." And that response with no further explanation is fine, because I dont need to make it all about me. And I'm not required explanations of a personal nature, we just met. I need more work at this. Just last weekend, I was embracing someone I met at a peer support group who had hugged me, but when my hand touched the back of her head and she suddenly recoiled, got triggered. She told me never to touch her there. I felt horrible about it. I made it into a rejection of me, I shouldn't have. I am friends with a person living with acute contamination OCD. They don't like their person or their belongings and in particular their food, napkins, utensils to be touched - at all. I occasionally make a mistake. Nevertheless we both find each other acceptable. Taking my ego out of the equation isn't a simple thing but the effort is worthwhile because in our community, there are people worth getting to know quite well who, for whatever reasons, cannot tolerate touch. Is it a problem? I don't have to make it a problem and I suppose a way forward would be to not make their reaction all about me. Sorry, I don't have any good dating advice for you or anyone else.
  2. I'd like to know what if anything comes of it. While you wait and see, it might be helpful to reflect upon the notion that we cannot control outcomes that are entirely dependent on others. And forgiveness is one such outcome, dependent on if the other is ready for that. But we can be proud of our best efforts. Yours appears to be a first-rate effort to make a repair of an important relationship.
  3. That's awful. I'm sorry you have to work in such a workplace. I honestly don't know how a manager or supervisor can behave in this way when it's in their job description to provide the support needed for their employees to succeed. Perhaps they have a manager who did this to them and so they learned, this is what "managing people" must be?
  4. Excellent question. What's most excellent about it is that you're still asking it in spite of how you feel. I want to compliment you on this, it's admirable. Treading water until we can float and then later swim is an important skill. But you're quite right to draw a distinction between surviving and living. I will be honest, I have no idea what will work for you. Still, I'm glad of the chance to share my lived experience with chronic mental illness if it will inspire you to think of ways you can make progress or reinvigorate hope. Recovery began for me with finding a way to manage my symptoms - which were overwhelming me - and that took years. I finally found some things that really worked... right up until the point when they no longer did. Then, I searched for and found new ways to manage my conditions. I have anxiety and depressive disorders. I reframed some of the questions that swirled in my head and kept me from feeling any peace or contentment. For example, the persistent question "what will make me happy?" became "what's the definition of a life worth living?" It seemed easier to answer the second question. In the first, I felt my ego was feeding me grandiose visions of what I thought happiness might look like. Another question, "how do I ensure and maintain a future where my needs are provided for?" became, "how can I learn to live just a bit better with uncertainty and doubt?" I can't say why exactly but these seemed like better questions. Until I began asking the right questions for me, every answer seemed wrong.
  5. A slightly belated thank you @Jonesy. I wanted you to know that reading your message of gratitude, in spite of the many unhappy events that occured in your past, was heartwarming. Gratitude is an important practice for me yet I'm not especially good at being mindful of what I have that's good and decent. Your post brought these to the forefront of my mind and I thank you for that.
  6. When I've a serious head cold like I do now, I get strange dreams but I also get semi delirious. Confusion between dream state and wakefulness is common. Momentary "non-consensual reality" events happen. Yeah, it can be unsettling. Maybe because I got chronic mental illness conditions, I'm not super disturbed by occasional dissociation. After these episodes I go, "hmm, depersonalization. Ahh, derealization. Huh, shadows seem strangely alive."
  7. This American Life podcast. Episode #252: poultry slam. Stories involving chickens and other fowl. 🐔đŸĻ†đŸĻƒ Bok bok, buh'gaaak!!!
  8. All the movies in the Marvel cinematic universe, in correct chronological order. I ought to be watching some promising yet unseen program on a streaming channel but I'm sick, it's hard for me to give anything much attention.
  9. Just rested at home today, still sick with this ghastly cold virus causing lots of sneezing and coughing. In bed for 12 hours, got plenty of sleep and watched movies. Drank lots of tea. I might be asleep now but for the power utility workers doing overnight maintenance right outside my apartment. Very noisy and the flood lights are annoying. Been without electricity since 10pm. Those LED candles I purchased for a forseen romantic evening are proving quite practical. đŸ•¯ī¸đŸŒƒ
  10. Thank you. I'm also sorry to hear that your mom is in the ER I hope it's being sorted out. I spent some time with mom at her place, watched a movie brought her lunch with my brother's help transporting us. But I had to come home by early evening because I'm so ill with this horrid cold. No fever yet, hope today was the worst of it. 🤧 Please take care of yourself too.
  11. Courage - P!nk The message is a little on-the-nose but then again, it is pop song. I'm not a big fan of mainstream pop music but I'm sorta convincing myself to connect with the genre by choosing songs made by artists who're mental health peers and advocates such as Pink and Lady Gaga.
  12. Arrival of some online purchases: bargain wireless earbuds, a wireless fast charging stand, two lilac colored USB wires that perfectly match my lilac galaxy S9 and it's lilac colored case. 💜 Progression of proper purpling of the products 💜 I use makes me 🙂.
  13. Awoke with my throat feeling raw and head stuffed up. Rather than wait to see if these symptoms developed, I called in sick to work the afternoon before my shift. Symptoms worsened during the afternoon. Nonetheless, met a friend for a few hours. Later the same day I got a text from bro to inform me that mom had fallen down outside and needed to be taken to the emergency room at the hospital. X-rays showed she broke her arm, likely happened when reflexively reaching out to break her fall. Met them both at the ER. She was discharged and we met sister-in-law at mom's home for dinner and to arrange her needful things to accomodate one-handed use. Mom is 84 so falls do happen and I'm super thankful that the damage was limited to a broken arm. Still, any accident is so scary at her age, complications occur, rehabilitation time is longer and I'm also concerned about how this incident might undermine her confidence and sense of independence. 🤧 ☚ī¸
  14. Rainy and cold again. The weekly forecast is just a big gray rain cloud. I do not have a human or animal "hot water bottle" in my bed tonight, I envy you all that do.
  15. Umbrella - Ember Island. A beautiful cover of the Rihanna pop song about friendship.
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