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Atra

Gold Member
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Atra last won the day on June 6 2020

Atra had the most liked content!

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About Atra

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    Gold Member

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    California
  • Interests
    Cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, podcasts, theater, opera, wine, food, crunchy-looking leaves on the sidewalk, walking, meditation, skepticism, travel, beading, poetry, support groups.

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  1. Thanks! Everything you wrote plus fatigue and a sore arm at the point of the injection, Acetaminophen helped. It's fortunate I did not schedule anything for Fri or Sat, the immune response was stronger than I expected. I got the Moderna. Almost 36 hrs since dose and I'm starting to feel better.
  2. Got my second vax shot this afternoon and I'm feeling a bit achy and a little sick. Might be worse tomorrow.
  3. Remaining true to our values, yes that's it Sober right on.
  4. Disappointed and fed-up with grad school remote learning; I was informed we shouldn't expect to be welcomed to campus this summer or even in autumn. More stuff @Atra doesn't control that makes him a sad and mad bunny . Also, feeling accomplished & proud of my school work this semester. Having lived experience with mental illness is actually helping me for once: I crush my exams, papers and presentations about mental illnesses. So take that in your face my neurotypical classmates, all trying to study depression from a book. Life is hilariously ironic sometimes. And feeling lonely, unfulfilled, and deprived because of pandemic, my life feels so one-dimensional. If I could trade homes with someone...
  5. The crappy toxic masculinity that I was socialized with. Adolescence in the 1980s, yet I am still separating myself from the messages about "what men are and do" that I unknowingly inhaled.
  6. Shame. It's been said that nobody has ever shamed themselves into being a better or even a more content person. Still, I try because what I have done became a pattern and neurons that fire together wire together (until a new pattern is woven).
  7. Insomnia is another condition I inherited. Sleep hygiene, practices that signal to my body and brain when it's time to rest help a little. Lately, watching videos of repetitive movements like cleaning or restoration seem to work well.
  8. Hi. Welcome to the forums! Positive results with Ketamine therapy increase when you follow a process. Setting an intention beforehand (prepping), creating a setting in the location where you'll receive the ketamine (the music helps create atmosphere), and integrating the experience during or after treatment (therapy). It sounds like you want a second opinion about whether you're suffering from a trauma stress disorder? Consulting a different psychologist or therapist sounds like a good idea, they can assess your symptoms and history. Music does affect the experience, the playlist should be assembled by you. My playlist is unique to me and to the intention I've set for my journey. You can alter the music after the first treatment, keeping in mind that music is your guide and should reflect intention. Wishing you a meaningful and healing journey.
  9. I'm sorry to read about the loss of loved ones, that is always tough. Grief can resemble depression but it is not the same, it's an appropriate human response that signifies a deep connection. I'm not clear on the kind of help you're looking for, I don't want to cause you pain by guessing. With regard to relationships, I will only speak of my lived experience. Being aware of my self-esteem and self-worth issues, making commitments and taking actions towards improving both has helped me affirm that I don’t require a partner to bolster my perceived deficiencies. It can be hard to foster worth from within when culture is broadcasting that you can only feel content when receiving worth from others.
  10. I appreciate you for taking the time to write out such a detailed account of how you use bio-emotive framework to manage your feelings. That took effort and I hope you have done this without regret or expectation. My view of bio-emotive is that it doesn't substantially advance the techniques that already exist in EFT, CBT, ACT and DBT (all evidence-based therapies). Dr. Tataryn doesn't claim his technique is much different than these well-established cognitive therapies. He does tie his approach to them because they're well researched, tested and accepted. The body mindfulness component, which seems to me to based on Interoception, could be really helpful to people who aren't aware of how their emotions present in their own bodies. However, smaller, more gradual learning steps would be needed I think to help folks who aren't accustomed to linking bodily sensations to emotions and their emotions to thoughts. I want to give you praise for the warning you included to consult with a licensed therapist before trying this--that is both thoughtful and compassionate. This "certainty" statement deserves more introspection, critical thinking and humility, in my opinion. Depression is an insidious illness that can find and use vulnerability or rigidity in beliefs to take root and grow. And major life transitions, losses, painful betrayals, existential crises and realignment of values can shake even the most confident human being. I'm writing this because in the past I have been "certain" I had decisively beaten depression--and I was right! Well... up until the point when it was clear that I was wrong. My intent here is to share my lived experience with recovery from depression and my experiences with relapse into depression, not to invalidate your own. You deserve credit and congratulations for your successful self-directed work with bio-emotive therapy.
  11. I'm curious why this would seem like a worse problem than managing your OCD condition without help, which seems really difficult and painful to me. I see my therapist only once a month now that I'm able to use the skills I learned in CBT, DBT and ACT without her help. But I still rely on support groups made up of people with mental illnesses to help me with hold my unhelpful thoughts very lightly. So that they don't seem like truths.
  12. That helped me. A community of people who have lived experience with depression made up of some who are struggling more than I (whom I might actually help) and others seemingly doing better (who might help me) provided me with purpose and support. That doesn't come from hanging on in silent desperation or putting up a false front. It's to your credit that you took a chance on us, @Rainbowrainand I hope you’ll find more people who share a common understanding that you can meet and talk with. As for family, everyone has a different situation. I found some members of mine were willing to view depression as they would any physical illness and make efforts to understand and help me.
  13. I used cannabis for decades and it helped with some symptoms of depression and anxiety but also created other problems for me. I stopped using all cannabis products about 3 years ago. Certain strains of Cannabis Sativa gave a boost to mood while others aggravated my anxiety disorder. Specific strains of Cannabis Indica helped with insomnia while others induced uncomfortable sensations in my body. I think a problem occurs with cannabis when we use it to numb out, which can prevent us from learning to tolerate difficult emotions. And l found it increasingly hard to properly measure out doses (I'd use too much). And cannabis growers in my region breed plants with higher and higher levels of THC, the psychoactive compound. I do miss the euphoric quality of being high and the sedative effects but I'll trade that for the mindfulness and clarity that seemed impaired, perhaps by the dosage I was taking.
  14. Depression with anxiety is a tough team to face and if you're struggling against them by yourself, it can feel impossible. I know how hard it is to do activities while experiencing constant mental and physical fatigue. You're not alone and you don't have to fight this alone in fact it makes it harder. I'm glad you found us and I hope we can become part of your support system. A support system is very important for helping me to maintain mood stability and functionality. Meeting online and in person with others who live with depression has helped me develop more compassion for myself. How does your family view your condition? Do you feel like you're a burden to them?
  15. Watching a French police procedural series named Spiral also called "Engrenages". Reminiscent of The Wire.
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