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Atra last won the day on February 1

Atra had the most liked content!


About Atra

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    Senior Member

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    San Francisco, California
  • Interests
    Cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, podcasts, theater, opera, wine, food, crunchy-looking leaves on the sidewalk, walking, meditation, skepticism, travel.

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  1. We visited two historic chateaus and then drove over 4 hours south to a medieval village where we stay for the night. I'm still sick. I'm exhausted from lack of sleep. Tomorrow I'm doing nothing but sleep until we leave for Bordeaux, the end of our France trip.
  2. Hi @Coz I'm sorry your depression symptoms have returned. It sounds like you're currently far from home and your family, could this be contributing to the heaviness? I'd mush you in a big hug if I could because a little nurturing contact can be a remedy for quite a bit. Instead I'll leave you a few words I hope will awaken you to some realities of this condition we share called depression. Lets start with you're not weak. I don't care if your mind tells you that you are - it's wrong. Maybe someone in your family, a trusted person, a friend or someone you admire on the TV suggested this? They're also wrong. Did the United Nations make a unanimous declaration and now Bono is doing a free concert to inform the world of your weakness? They're all wrong, so very wrong, and sadly misinformed. Wrong. I'm glad you posted so that we have this opportunity to explain that Depression isn't a sign of weakness. What you and me and others here must do each day just to get by, just to do normal everyday stuff, it takes extraordinary strength. This comes from within you. Asking for help is a sign of wisdom and it also requires strength. Don't expect neurotypical people to understand, they don't and frankly, most can't be bothered to. Seems like for a while you had depression pinned to the mat but then it squirmed away. That's happened to me too. What can you do now that it's running free? Peer support groups such as this can be a place for you to turn your insides out without worry about judgment or rejection. We have many conversations about coping. I don't know whether there are drop-in support groups where you reside, there are plenty of online communities and online therapists who would welcome you as we have.
  3. I want to see that, I hope it's still playing when I return from vacation! Today I slept in, had late breakfast then tasted wines on my own. I couldn't taste too well because of a cold but whatever, I learned a lot about Chenin Blanc wine. Returned to hotel and had a hot bath.
  4. There are some people who like to vacation by making an overbooked itinerary/agenda some days. I just had a tense but calm discussion with my sister-in-law regarding the temporal realities of trying to visit 3 tourist destinations, having regular meals and then a 4 hour drive arriving in time to check in to our next hotel. When she's said, "I have to do this!" I didn't say "you can't do this!" or "that's impossible, be reasonable" because these trigger unproductive arguments. She is a planner, a micromanger and a worrier who needs to arrive at these realities her own self, however long that requires. It's how much she suffers because of it that distresses me. I'm fighting a cold, not going to attempt a rush-around-destinations day. "Tomorrow is gonna suck!" she moaned. That should never, in my opinion, be said about any day of vacation until it's the last day of vacation. Wish she could let go just a little.
  5. Watching the news seeing Notre Dame in Paris engulfed in flames is so depressing. I spent an entire day in the Cathedral in the towers and crypt just last week. Unbelievable.
  6. Continued travels in France. Today I left Mont Saint-Michel in Normandy for Amboise in Loire valley. The constant travel and touring has begun to wear me out and I've caught a cold. Told my brother and sister-in-law that I'm going to take care of myself and just rest tomorrow while they do the tourist thing. I knew this leg of the trip would be rough on me - 6 cities in 8 days. They planned it. I figured gosh, what a good test of my resilience - like a dummy.
  7. I took a train out of Paris this afternoon and arrived in the town of Bayeux. Tomorrow I'm going on an 8 hour tour of WWII historic sites in Normandy. Also crepes are yummy and I'm now traveling with my brother and sister-in-law for a week... so, I'm going to try extra hard not to bite either of them.
  8. Hi @hordak thank you for expressing what is depressing you and I'm sorry to know this is happening. I wanted you to know that In the USA, the comments sections of online newspapers also contain a lot of hateful attacks on minority groups whenever there is an incident involving one person that results in deaths or injuries. It is not fair or proper for these comments to be applied to all who share a common heritage based on one individual actions. It is more unfair when such judgments aren't then applied to everyone in the majority group when one person belonging to it does some terrible and violent act. You aren't alone experiencing this. I don't have much advice for you other than to stop reading the comments on any newspaper report. Curiosity isn't worth the difficult emotions that follow for there is not an obvious outlet for the hurt and anger and directed inward, become depression.
  9. "Home is where you fully understand how the shower works." - Sapling Press
  10. Hi and welcome. I'm glad you found us, you definitely belong here so I invite you to contribute when ready. Feel welcome to respond to existing conversations or to start your own. This is a supportive peer community and we rely on one another to relieve some of the isolation that can result from our illnesses. I hope you'll feel a little more connected now that you're one of us.
  11. Spending the day at Notre Dame. If somebody writes a tour guide for the chronically depressed, I think this gothic cathedral ought to make the list. Call me Captain Obvious. Anyways I spent two hours inside and with each 30 minutes that passed, I got more introspective. Except for times I wanted to bite certain people in the crowds for acting hopelessly entitled. The Towers offer a dumbfounding view of the city, through the newly built anti-suicide wire fencing. Not recommended for people with acrophobia, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, xenophobia, heart condition, pregnancy, vertigo, breathing problems, difficulty climbing 480 steps of a spiral staircase or - basically, everyone, just dont go. I'll be heading down into the crypt next.
  12. Right??? Yes! It's brilliant and I wear this song out in my get-yourself-movin mix. The Presley family isn't keen on Elvis remixes and it's obvious why they made an exception here.
  13. Hey you guys I got on the plane this time! - that's progress right?! And one less chew toy for anxiety to play with. Just a short 9 hours until my flying anxiety can take a break. And I hang out with the travelling-in-a-foreign-country anxiety. ✈️ 🇫🇷😧
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