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  1. Roughly a month on 10mg of Lexapro and my hair is shedding like crazy. It’s truly frightening. I’m so down at this point because the side effects of every single AD I’ve tried have been overwhelming: Prozac- migraines Zoloft- Extreme lethargy Trintellix- GI issues Bupropion- Chest pain Lamictal- Allergic reaction (rash, itching) I just don’t know what to do at this point. I feel completely overwhelmed and miserable. This medication thing is making everything worse and I don’t think there is anything that will help. I just feel hopeless.
  2. Hi Squareone, My psychiatrist seems to think that the typical therapeutic dose is 15-20mg, so it might be that the dose is too low. I’ve also had a pharmacist tell me that you won’t experience anything but side effects if the dose is too low. Best of luck!
  3. Aaaaand Lexapro is making my hair fall out. A quick internet search reveals that this is a very uncommon side effect. This is very distressing. I just can’t seem to find a tolerable medication. It feels like everything I try to do makes the depression worse. I can’t stand it.
  4. Markinthedark, I think you hit the nail on the head here. Hearing from friends and from my therapist that I’m not putting out positive energy or that I don’t try hard enough is often the catalyst that sends me into a downward spiral. As much as I try to be positive and outgoing, it isn’t a natural state for me, and people are smart. They pick up on that. So even though I’m trying and I may get away with it for a while, the longer I know people, the more they see that it’s just a front. I want to be myself, but that person isn’t likeable and doesn’t fit in. Ugh, it’s so hard not to downward spiral on here. Sorry. Thank you for replying!
  5. Hi Saprkzz, Thank you for replying. I understand your point about projecting positive energy. It can be very difficult at times, but I do try. I think that my problem is deeper than positivity can cover for, because there simply isn’t anything there worthwhile. I’ve had trouble identifying my strengths and I’ve asked friends and family what they think I might be good at or what they think my talents are and they couldn’t really name anything. I’ve asked my SO what he thinks I should do for a job and he thinks I could answer phones. My therapist suggested data entry or working with the elderly. I’m sure these are very worthwhile jobs and that there are companies that need people to do them, but it was depressing to hear. I had hoped that someone would see something that I hadn’t but they see very little value in me. It really reinforced my feelings of worthlessness.
  6. Hello everybody, sorry for the rambling nature of this post, but it’s been a rough few weeks. So I’ve been to several therapists at this point, most of whom have claimed that they do cognitive behavioral therapy in some form or another. I suffer from depression, which I believe to be a combination of genetic and situational. Basically I always feel worthless and inadequate. Always, all day long. What I’m coming to realize through therapy and talking to friends and family is that my low opinions of myself are pretty accurate, or worse than I thought. It’s not as if they think I’m horrible or mean or something. It’s just that nobody thinks much of me at all. They see me as incapable, shy, mediocre, and only good for doing tasks that no one else wants to do. I have been needing to start a new career for some time, but because of family obligations I have very limited time, money, and energy. I have always worked in the service industry, never having the skills or intelligence to work somewhere that offers a regular schedule, which is what I would need. I have tried volunteering, joining a support group, medication, exercise, multiple therapists, learning apps, meditation apps, yoga, walking, exploring new interests. I’m just... bad at everything, even things that I’ve been practicing for years and like to do (or used to). Worse is that even the people that I am closest to think the same thing. They can’t imagine any kind of meaningful success for me. My current and former therapists have supposed that I’m projecting my inadequacies and that’s why no one thinks positive things about me. That’s fair, I guess, but where would positive thoughts even come from? Anything positive I can think of seems unrealistic and, if I’m being honest, social media has ruined positive thinking and gratitude for me. I keep trying, but right now it seems like the worst is true and I really am just that worthless.
  7. Good for you. Don’t stress yourself too much. Remember that you are the client, and if you and your therapist are a good fit then he/she will be able to work out a treatment plan that works for you (though it may not always be easy or comfortable). Red flags (aside from the obviously illegal or immoral ones): if the therapist discusses his/her own problems with you at length ( it’s YOUR session!) Alternately, if he or she says little or nothing and just lets you downward spiral until you leave feeling worse than you did coming in. Also if he or she is overly critical or belittling. I hope that helps and I wish you all the best. Warmest regards, Wheredoistart
  8. Back pain is so awful. I really feel for you. If you’re already dealing with depression it can really make your mental situation unbearable. I think that once you get some physical relief it will boost your mood. I’ve done physical therapy, worn a brace, seen a specialist, gone to a chiropractor and so on and so on. If there’s a way that you can get in to see an acupuncturist, that might be of some help. I’ve found that to be a much more effective treatment than physical therapy. It might be an out-of-pocket expense, however, but worth a try if you haven’t already thought of it. Oddly, though I don’t like psychiatric medication for myself, I found that sertraline gave me relief from chronic pain. I think Cymbalta is also used to treat chronic pain, though I haven’t tried it. I hope that you get some relief soon. All the best, Wheredoistart
  9. Hi Andrea, oh yes, I’m well aware that the side effects of these meds are harmful. More than once I’ve told my GP, Phsychiatrist, etc. that it all just feels like poison to me. The only reason I’m trying them at all is because I’ve been bullied into it. Several therapists refused to treat me unless I agreed to take meds. Thankfully (after many attempts) I found a therapist with whom I can connect. Sadly, my living situation will not accommodate pets, but I appreciate the suggestion.
  10. Trintellix was the absolute worst for me. All it did was cause horrible GI issues, so I’m with you there. I was able to tolerate Sertraline for a couple of months but it didn’t help with the depression at all. It only made me tired and unmotivated. I’m trying escitolapram now, and so far all I’ve felt is anxiety, but it’s better than the migraine that fluoxetine gave me, so that’s something. I guess it’s all about what you are willing to tolerate. Honestly the best thing I ever did for depression was very intense exercise, unfortunately I’m not able to do that level of intense training anymore without serious consequences. I guess it’s a battle that never ends.
  11. Thank you for responding! Major Depressive Disorder is my diagnosis. The only thing that brings me any relief at all is intense exercise, but the meds either take away all motivation to do anything but sit on the couch (Trintellix, Zoloft) or make me so sick that I can’t exercise (Wellbutrin, Prozac). That was why being on the meds was so bad. Not only did they not fix the problem, they took away the only effective form of treatment that I had 😞 My psychiatrist does not think that there is a med out there that will be side-effect free enough to let me exercise. His advice has dried up, and yet my therapist and primary care physician say meds are the only thing that will work.
  12. In short my GP and the last two therapists that I have seen have told me I need medication to get better. I’ve been working with a Psychiatrist since last year and I’ve tried Prozac, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Trintellix, and Lamictal. I’ve had horrible side effects with each one, even at low doses (my Lamictal rash was so bad I had to visit the ER). My psychiatrist doesn’t recommend that I try anything else. I know, right? Meanwhile my therapist and GP are rolling their eyes at me because “it works for everyone else!” Hey, I would love for something to work. Really, I would, but the side effects were so much worse than the depression. The only relief I experienced was getting off of the meds. Even when I was able to take them long enough to feel something it was only emotional blunting, no sense of well-being or anything positive. Any other super-sensitive people out there?
  13. Thank you for taking the time to leave a thoughtful response. I bombed this one at the therapist’s office today. I told her I was aware of what redeeming qualities were and that while I could see them in others I could not see any in myself, or at least none that were good enough. She told me that she didn’t know how to help me. I’ve been after her from the start to teach me cbt techniques, but since I failed this “cbt intervention” she wouldn’t work with me today. I think she’s waiting for me to find the right med so that it makes her job easier. I feel like both she and my psychiatrist think I’m a lost cause, which is how everyone treats me when I’m not pretending to be normal. Sorry to be so down, but this is the place for that, right?
  14. Dear Greyy, Hooooo, that was quite a read. Thank you for sharing your story. Please continue to do so, especially if you find that it helps to get things off your chest. Sometimes you just need to talk and get it out there. The generic stuff: You have a lot going on, and you’re still very young, and it sounds like you’re going through a transitional time where you’re working on becoming the person that you’re going to be for the rest of your life BUT you’re not just bringing your own baggage, you’re bringing your family’s baggage along for the ride. Let me just pause a second and validate your feelings: they’re valid. You sound frustrated and you have a right to be. Okay, so I can’t address your specific family problems, but I can sympathize; I have my own set of very interesting family dynamics and I often feel EXACTLY the same feelings that you describe, especially the isolation. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (very likely genetic in nature), however the things that I see in myself are not what the world sees, and when you have depression, you have trouble seeing things realistically. I don’t know you and I’m not likely to ever truly “get” where you’re coming from, but I want to assure you that your feelings are not unique and you are not alone. Keep. Trying. Talk. Sometimes the people that you don’t want to talk to are the people you need to talk to. Sometimes it’s better to get things on the table than try to sweep them under the rug and let them fester. If you can’t do that, see a therapist (yeah, I know. I’m on my fifth one, so I get it. It’s not sunshine and roses. It’s work.) If you’re willing, try a different medication (again, I know, I’ve tried Sertraline and bupropion and I have such poor tolerance for even very low doses that my psychiatrist doesn’t even want to prescribe me anything else. The only thing that has ever truly helped me was very, very intense exercise.) If you’re willing to take advice from some internet rando: get out and try something new. ANYTHING (okay, not just anything) but take a different route to work. Eat something different for lunch or the same thing at a different place. Change your soap. Try out a new hobby. Try some intense exercise. Talk to some new internet randos. It seems like you know you need to change something. Start small and see what happens. Stop. Playing. Video games. Unless you have the flu or you’re recovering from surgery. Seriously though, I wish you all the best, Wheredoistart (Video games are still better than social media, though.)
  15. I have not. I will look into that. Thank you!
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