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About Wheredoistart

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  1. Thank you for responding! Major Depressive Disorder is my diagnosis. The only thing that brings me any relief at all is intense exercise, but the meds either take away all motivation to do anything but sit on the couch (Trintellix, Zoloft) or make me so sick that I can’t exercise (Wellbutrin, Prozac). That was why being on the meds was so bad. Not only did they not fix the problem, they took away the only effective form of treatment that I had 😞 My psychiatrist does not think that there is a med out there that will be side-effect free enough to let me exercise. His advice has dried up, and yet my therapist and primary care physician say meds are the only thing that will work.
  2. In short my GP and the last two therapists that I have seen have told me I need medication to get better. I’ve been working with a Psychiatrist since last year and I’ve tried Prozac, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Trintellix, and Lamictal. I’ve had horrible side effects with each one, even at low doses (my Lamictal rash was so bad I had to visit the ER). My psychiatrist doesn’t recommend that I try anything else. I know, right? Meanwhile my therapist and GP are rolling their eyes at me because “it works for everyone else!” Hey, I would love for something to work. Really, I would, but the side effects were so much worse than the depression. The only relief I experienced was getting off of the meds. Even when I was able to take them long enough to feel something it was only emotional blunting, no sense of well-being or anything positive. Any other super-sensitive people out there?
  3. Thank you for taking the time to leave a thoughtful response. I bombed this one at the therapist’s office today. I told her I was aware of what redeeming qualities were and that while I could see them in others I could not see any in myself, or at least none that were good enough. She told me that she didn’t know how to help me. I’ve been after her from the start to teach me cbt techniques, but since I failed this “cbt intervention” she wouldn’t work with me today. I think she’s waiting for me to find the right med so that it makes her job easier. I feel like both she and my psychiatrist think I’m a lost cause, which is how everyone treats me when I’m not pretending to be normal. Sorry to be so down, but this is the place for that, right?
  4. Dear Greyy, Hooooo, that was quite a read. Thank you for sharing your story. Please continue to do so, especially if you find that it helps to get things off your chest. Sometimes you just need to talk and get it out there. The generic stuff: You have a lot going on, and you’re still very young, and it sounds like you’re going through a transitional time where you’re working on becoming the person that you’re going to be for the rest of your life BUT you’re not just bringing your own baggage, you’re bringing your family’s baggage along for the ride. Let me just pause a second and validate your feelings: they’re valid. You sound frustrated and you have a right to be. Okay, so I can’t address your specific family problems, but I can sympathize; I have my own set of very interesting family dynamics and I often feel EXACTLY the same feelings that you describe, especially the isolation. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (very likely genetic in nature), however the things that I see in myself are not what the world sees, and when you have depression, you have trouble seeing things realistically. I don’t know you and I’m not likely to ever truly “get” where you’re coming from, but I want to assure you that your feelings are not unique and you are not alone. Keep. Trying. Talk. Sometimes the people that you don’t want to talk to are the people you need to talk to. Sometimes it’s better to get things on the table than try to sweep them under the rug and let them fester. If you can’t do that, see a therapist (yeah, I know. I’m on my fifth one, so I get it. It’s not sunshine and roses. It’s work.) If you’re willing, try a different medication (again, I know, I’ve tried Sertraline and bupropion and I have such poor tolerance for even very low doses that my psychiatrist doesn’t even want to prescribe me anything else. The only thing that has ever truly helped me was very, very intense exercise.) If you’re willing to take advice from some internet rando: get out and try something new. ANYTHING (okay, not just anything) but take a different route to work. Eat something different for lunch or the same thing at a different place. Change your soap. Try out a new hobby. Try some intense exercise. Talk to some new internet randos. It seems like you know you need to change something. Start small and see what happens. Stop. Playing. Video games. Unless you have the flu or you’re recovering from surgery. Seriously though, I wish you all the best, Wheredoistart (Video games are still better than social media, though.)
  5. I have not. I will look into that. Thank you!
  6. Hello, I took the generic for Wellbutrin (bupropion) for two weeks, but had to stop because of intense chest pain. My therapist, gp, and psychiatrist all seem to agree that this was anxiety-related. The pain did go away after I stopped taking it, but it is a bummer because I thought the medication was starting to work. I seem to be very sensitive to side effects of all medications and my psychiatrist doesn’t seem to know what to do with me. Has anyone else had this? Is there a med without horrible side effects?
  7. Short answer: No, you are not broken. I (and many people here) have been in your shoes asking myself the same thing. It sounds like you are going through a very stressful time and that you are trying to take control by searching for a new job. Great! And you’ve come across some information that is designed to guide you towards mental help if you need it. What is wrong with needing mental help? If you are worried, then please go and talk to your doctor. It’s a very responsible choice. At the very least you get a medical professional’s educated opinion, and maybe you get referred to a therapist and you get some tools to help you deal with the pressures of life. The bottom line is that if you’re worried, you should find someone to talk to about it. That could just be here on the internet or it could be a friend or family member or medical professional. And if you need more help, seek it out. It’s up to you. Take care
  8. Hello, I’m hesitant to post this but here goes: I can’t tolerate anti-depressants. For a long time I was using exercise as medicine, but only very intense exercise does the trick and I’ve beaten my body up so much by this point that I’m in constant pain if I try to do anything too strenuous. Aside from exercise the only things that I have found that work for me are adhd medications, specifically adderall (and yes, I do have adult add, not just an irresponsible psychiatrist). I was surprised to find that adderall erased my depression and made me into a person that I could stand. Unfortunately it wore off after a few hours and I also had terrible side effects, so I decided to try Ritalin. It doesn’t erase the depression but it takes the edge off (yes, I know it’s not supposed to work like that, but here we are). Ritalin also makes me very lethargic, gives me anxiety, somehow manages to give me insomnia to go along with the lethargy, and makes exercise nightmarish. I’ve now been switched (just today) to vyvanse, unfortunately (and coincidentally) I will soon be traveling to a country where vyvanse and adderall (the only two medications that I have felt any positive effect from) are absolutely illegal. This trip promises to be very stressful and I’m desperate to find something to get me through this because I can’t stand to be in the same room as myself when I’m not on some kind of adhd med. I know this is basically like treating depression with street drugs or alcohol but I can’t get by without them and my psychiatrist has no idea what to do with me since I’m so sensitive to medications. Does anyone know of any otc medications or stimulants or anything that could help temporarily? Thank you
  9. My doctor wanted to prescribe adderall plus Wellbutrin as well. I ended up not tolerating either medicine, unfortunately, but it seemed to be a good combination.
  10. Hi, I’m wheredoistart. I’ve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and ADD with a hereditary component. I’m not currently on any medication but I have tried a few and am willing to try again. Despite the many, many hurdles involved in getting treatment for mental health issues I have managed to start seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist. I am not sure that either are the right fit, but I know that there will be many more hurdles if I want to switch. I’ve joined this forum as a way of creating a support system, as I have no support system in real life. I have tried to speak out about my depression symptoms but that has led to me being excluded from groups and activities and labeled as toxic and negative. Friends and family have said “It’s all in your head” or “I’m sorry you feel that way” or advised that I “look on the bright side”, but I feel like I am stuck in a dark room and I can’t find the light switch, and everyone just keeps telling me to turn the lights on, so I have given up trying to explain that there is no switch. It’s easier to lie and say that the lights are on.
  11. Thank you, Oscar. Also, I don’t litter, so that’s something.
  12. Emptyinsc, It sounds as if you are going through a very rough stretch of time. You have just experienced a major transition, and that can throw you completely off. It also sounds like you have taken steps to help yourself by seeing your GP for a referral. This is good. I just went through the process of getting a referral myself, and it did take a month to be seen. It always strikes me as so strange that something as absolutely vital and immediate as mental health is often treated as if it were a luxury item that you simply have to wait for, as if you are getting your hair done. It’s horrible. I was eventually seen, and I started the process, and you will be seen too, and it will get better. Not immediately. And it might not stay better, and it might get worse before it gets better, but things won’t always be this way. It’s hard to believe, I know. Until then, please try to distract yourself. Try to find things to do that you enjoy (or used to enjoy) even if it’s just something small, like listening to a favorite song. People do care, but it can be very difficult to see right now. Be kind to yourself. wheredoistart
  13. Hello, This is my first post. I am currently in treatment for major depressive disorder (it’s not fun, the disorder or the therapy). My psychologist has asked me to write down three redeeming qualities about myself. I can’t think of any. I find lots of examples of how to answer on the internet, but I still cannot think of any. I know that this is part of the depression. What are some questions that I can ask myself to come up with answers? Thank you, wheredoistart
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