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About MatthewPA

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  1. My dad died yesterday. I really have to be careful that my depression doesn't spiral out of control now.
  2. Some good ideas all, thanks! My mom may be open to Klonopin since it is another benzo. But have to convince my doctor.
  3. Merry Christmas, all. I hope I and all the others suffering with depression have a better year next year with a better Christmas.
  4. I live with my parents and my mom is picky about medications in her house. I know, I am old enough to decide. But it is not working that way. I did ask my doctor about Klonopin and she thought it would be harder to get off of. But I don't know about that. I am always thinking about my next Ativan pill because it is shorter acting. Thanks for the post!
  5. Thanks! I can try it. I do wonder if I will get the anxiety but definitely something to try. Especially during the day.
  6. I feel in a real dilemma with my Ativan medication. Without Ativan I get very nervous and that makes it too hard to function. With it I get too much in a zombie-like state where I lack motivation to do much of anything. Very foggy and tired. During the day it just makes me want to sleep. Even taking a half of a .5 mg pill can do this. Ativan is the only medication I can get prescribed. Not sure what to do! I just want to feel normal.
  7. Feeling like I just want Christmas over. Have never felt like that before.
  8. Dad had to go to the hospital again. Has pneumonia and not sure he'll be released before Christmas. Makes an already horrible Christmas even worse.
  9. I'm to the point it is harder to resist being in bed more. I wake up so terribly. But better to be in bed if I have to than think thoughts about not wanting to go on.
  10. Having my worst Thanksgiving time ever. Dad has not been walking since he fell. Had to cancel another colonoscopy due to no ride. Just anxious all the time and very depressed.
  11. I know but everything has gone wrong it seems. Can't even catch a break. Really at a low point.
  12. Thank you. I really neeed a pep talk. I really wonder what I did to deserve such a miserable life.
  13. Lost, sad, and anxious. Not sure where my food money will come from. The Ativan isn't working well lately. This drug isn't for depression and feeling energy, yet it is my only option. So mad at my family for doing this.
  14. So bad I feel sick. Really no money at all. Don't want to ask relatives again. I am not in good shape.
  15. I slept better but still feel so sleepy and tired today. Frustrating!
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