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IShouldDie

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About IShouldDie

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  1. Hit me up anytime via pm.
  2. I know it shattered me when I began to realize this. I was always depressed and had suicidal thoughts, but the belief in the back of my mind that I did possess the power to change it always gave me just enough comfort to not be fully suicidal. But now that I’ve gained a better understanding of life and reality, I’m just broken down. Life is an absolute tragedy when you fully understand the truth of it all. It is not the world we were sold.
  3. See this is the type of lie op is talking about. This is the platitude we were all sold growing up. But the more you learn about reality, the more you see how utterly wrong it is. Life is absolutely NOT “what we make it”. We are victims of our genes. We are at their mercy. They determine what we can/can’t do. For some of us, we might as well just die because evolution has determined that we’re failures.
  4. MY mind has been dwelling on the same thing. We are our genes. Our genes determine what we look like, how attractive we are, how talented we are, etc... You aren’t either dealt a good hand or you’re not. If you’re not, nothing you can do about it. There is no such thing as “self-improvement” or “practice”. Your genes determine it all. It sucks. It’s not the world we were told it was when we were children. The world where “everyone is capable of anything they set their mind to”, or where “there’s someone out there for everyone”. There are ones who have been gifted with the right genes to make it work, and others who might as well **** ourselves.
  5. IShouldDie

    Should I be alive?

    What happened to my thread? There were like 20 replies, now there are only 3.
  6. IShouldDie

    Coming out.

    If you were to tell someone, who would it be?
  7. IShouldDie

    It's All Bullsh*t

    If you would like to talk more about this I’m here to listen. Say whatever you want.
  8. IShouldDie

    Should I be alive?

    Hello everyone! This is my first post. I’m making this thread for the purpose of exploring and discussing the legitimacy and necessity of my existence. I want to discuss whether or not, given the requisite circumstances which I’m about to lay out, it is acceptable for me to be alive or to continue living. I suppose I should lay out the relevant facts about myself and my life so that we can discuss whether or not I constitue a worthy human being. Firstly, I’m incredibly stupid. I was in special education throughout grade school, and was a D- F student in high school who barely squeaked by. In college I failed nearly every class I took, having to repeat the same classes for several years before eventually being kicked out. As an adult I’ve had several menial jobs, many of them ending in me being dismissed/fired. I’m very incompetent in most, if not all, things I do. I seem to have a proclivity for failure that is unprecedented. I’m currently unemployed and continue to live with my parents. I’m 27 years old and am still a kissless virgin. I’ve never had a girlfriend or been on a date in my entire life. This is due to being ugly first and foremost, but also to being undesirable in terms of personality as well. There are many other smoking gun facts about myself that contribute to my undesirable status, but I think these facts that I’ve laid out are certainly enough on their own to establish my undesirability quite firmly. Because of the staggering and overwhelming degree of my terrible traits, I have come to question the worthiness of my life. I believe that If one were to take out a multi-varied analysis of my life using the most basic and trivial standards of what constitutes a legitimate human life, one would clearly see that all unfavorable blanks would be checked, and that the results would certainly show that I am unfit to live. All of these things I say from a purely objective standpoint. In more recent years I have come to believe that my existence is a pernicious burden to the world I interact with. I believe that if ever there were a standard by which lives were assessed for their fitness to be alive, I would undoubtedly fail in every respect. I therefore believe that I should not waste another moment trying to improve upon my life, or trying to undo the damage that has been done. I believe that my chances should be up. I believe that my life and existence should be terminated. That is what I believe, and I think I’ve got it right.
  9. IShouldDie

    PURPOSE

    Definitely true. I marvel at how others seem to attract people left and right while people seem to bolt from me in droves. I can never seem to make or keep friends. Also, animals are not enough. It’s got to be people. That’s just the way it is.
  10. I understand all your concerns. I don’t wish to get into my motivations for asking this question. I’ll just say thanks and move on.
  11. If you can’t answer my question can you at least refer me to some resources wherein I might could find the answers I’m after?
  12. I really would appreciate it if someone would answer my question and give me the names of some drugs that would eliminate the inhibition and fear of committing suicide.
  13. Title says it all. I’m looking for a drug that could eliminate fear of committing suicide by *suicide method removed*. Thanks.
  14. IShouldDie

    Don’t know what to do

    I know there must be hundreds of undiagnosed issues with my brain, but I’ve never been diagnosed or treated before. I can tell you that I live with what seems to be severe depression. I have trouble functioning and living a productive life. I’m 27, and I still have not accomplished anything in my life. I still live at home with parents, financially dependent, have trouble keeping work, and tend to hate going out amongst people. I have a strong inhibition towards commitment it seems, which is likely why I’ve quit school numerous times and have a hard time keeping jobs. I don’t think I’m necessarily “stupid”, but I do tend to blow my own mind at the propensity for stupidity and failure I’ve often displayed in retrospect. It’s kind of hard to categorize me. I just think I’m a depressed guy with major insecurities, deeply-rooted mental issues, and non-existent self-esteem. I’ve also never had a girlfriend, been on a date, or had any sort of intimate encounter with the opposite sex in my entire life. I feel worthless, hopeless, and overwhelmed with life. The worst moments I experience happen at night when I lay down for bed. My mind enters this state of despair, where my thoughts are just dooming and overwhelming. I’m actually typing this now during one of those episodes. I’m very upset and don’t know what to do about anything. It seems like it’s too late and I’m too old. I’m just overwhelmed.
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