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About DialAForAlan

  • Rank
  • Birthday 12/15/1989

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Jane's lap
  • Interests
    Jane Lynch, Weakest Link (classic and current), Blue's Clues & You, Josh Dela Cruz, gaming, reading, writing fanfics and poetry, drawing, sleeping, fanboying, internet, and making photo edits.

Contact Methods

  • Skype

Recent Profile Visitors

1,491 profile views
  1. Not good. I keep feeling a sense of impending doom - like maybe I might die within the next few weeks to a month - and I'm scared cause I'm so young and should have so much life ahead of me. I'm relatively healthy, too, so I shouldn't feel this way even with my anxiety and depression.
  2. This isn't me feeling insecure about my appearance and wondering if I'd be making a huge mistake in terms of trying a new, shorter haircut in the future. Part of me thinks I'd look great and that it'd be a huge boost in my self esteem - but a much bigger part of me thinks I'd look weird cause I'm not exactly skinny and most of the styles I like are probably wrong for my face shape. Nor does it help that somebody mocked me for wanting to try out a style similar to some of the ones Jane has had in the past. I don't know what to do other than just not cut my hair at all.
  3. I feel like absolute crap. I can't stop crying and I want my pillow!Jane but I don't even have the energy to grab her from the couch. I hurt all over both physically and emotionally and I just...ghjgjlljffhjctmo...
  4. Is it weird or wrong that I'm looking at Jane for future hairstyle ideas?
  5. Yes, but this is different. This is like every day conversation to me. Somehow it's more difficult when it's on, like, a dating app or something. I think cause it feels more formal and then I get anxious.
  6. It's not about gifts to me though. It's more like I feel left out and lonely and I wish I had somebody to spend time with. In short, I'm tired of being alone, but too awkward and shy to make any kind of first move.
  7. I hate Valentine's Day so much it's not funny. Year after year, I see everyone around me falling in love or getting married or meeting somebody and I'm just...here...alone and unloved. Oh, sure, I have my family and friends, but sometimes it's not enough. Nor does it help that talking to girls is really hard in general or that I suck at small talk. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone.
  8. I need Jane. The first season of WL finished on Monday and I don't know when I'll see her again cause nobody has said anything about when we're getting the second season yet. ...and before anyone asks, no, I've not seen Monday's episode - and I probably won't for awhile cause I'm not ready. The very thought of it hurts just as much, if not more, than being away from her cause it's so final, if that makes sense?
  9. I haven't been able to get out of bed since Tuesday. I want to (and I know I should) but I just don't have the energy to. Honestly, I don't think Jane would even be able to coax me to, and she'd be able to get me to do just about anything. In short, I feel run down and listless.
  10. I couldn't bring myself to watch Weakest Link last night even though I know there's going to be a second season. Honestly, every time I remember it's the finale, my heart sinks and I want to cry cause I hate being away from Jane to the point where it's traumatic.
  11. Every time I remember that I've suffered from compulsory het for most, if not all, of my life, I feel nauseous and uncomfortable. Honestly, I wish I knew how to get rid of it cause I'm tired of the gross feelings and tired of being "attracted" to men. I just want to be myself and love girls.
  12. ...so I know I should get food but I honestly don't think I can be away from pillow!Jane long enough to. ...and before anyone tells me to take her with me, it's not that simple cause I'd still have to let go to grab whatever out of the kitchen.
  13. Nothing is really wrong, per se, but I feel miserable anyway. I had the urge to cry a bit ago but I can't give into it cause it'd be like the scene from Alice in Wonderland. I'd be unable to stop and would probably drown, so to speak.
  14. I feel alone, unloveable, and unwanted. Oh, sure, I have family and friends, but sometimes I feel like they put up with me out of pity and/or because you can't abandon family. Just once, I want to have somebody who genuinely wants me around and who won't leave without warning. Somebody who understands my pain and who will love me despite my flaws. I always say I don't want to be remembered but the truth is, I do. More than I'll ever care to admit.
  15. Anxious and lost. We just finished a month's hiatus for "Weakest Link" and now, if I'm not mistaken (and oh god do I hope I am), we're headed towards another one. Even worse, I think next week's episode is the season finale, which means I might not know when Jane will be back for a long, long time. I...I don't want her to go yet and I...I can't be away from her without knowing when I'll see her again. My heart hurts...
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