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About DialAForAlan

  • Rank
    Junior Member
  • Birthday 12/15/1989

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    The Thinking Chair
  • Interests
    Blue's Clues & You, Josh Dela Cruz, gaming, reading, writing fanfics and poetry, drawing, sleeping, fanboying, internet, and making photo edits.

Contact Methods

  • Skype

Recent Profile Visitors

866 profile views
  1. I wish I hadn't decided to get up, but at the same time, I can't be bothered to go back to bed. In short, I feel like shit and am in desperate need of Joshy snuggles.
  2. When you called me beautiful My world began to spin And it was then I knew Our hearts would someday meld. When I heard your laugh And the thoughts inside your heart I thought I heard an angel's voice Calling out to me from deep within my soul. Every time your smile crossed your face And your eyes were all aglow I knew I had come home.
  3. I don't have words for how I feel right now, although "awestruck" and/or "lovestruck" are probably the closest. Why? Joshy called me beautiful over Zoom today.
  4. You know what sucks? Touch starvation. Especially when it's been eleven years since you last received any kind of meaningful touch. I need to be held in ways I can't explain by someone who loves me and who won't care if I cry or that I might be unable to let go. And since the pandemic, I've lost the one source of touch I had and I don't know when or even if I'll see them again.
  5. I'm elated and maybe a bit nervous today cause I won an auction on Sunday...which means that I get to have a Zoom chat with Josh Dela Cruz.
  6. I was the highest bidder in an online charity auction and I won a 15 minute Zoom video chat with Josh Dela Cruz. I'm...I can't believe I actually won. Nor can I believe it's really going to happen. I...I'm in shock and...just...oh my josh. I get to spend 15 minutes with somebody who is very, very special to me. Yes, I know it's strange to love somebody like him the way I do, but you can't help who you fall in love with. I wish I knew how to thank him for everything he's done for me thus far. I really don't want to darken an otherwise happy post but he's also one of the biggest reasons for why I keep hanging on even when I've felt like giving up. He's always there with his sweet smile and soft, soothing voice, and that's when I know I can't give in to my pain and know he'd want me to keep going. I...I love him more than life itself and in more ways than words could ever express. He's everything I want, everything I need, and everything I wish I was.
  7. I don't have time for a headache right now.
  8. That awkward and amusing moment when you choke on your soda cause you've got an irl relative named Josh. Long story short, he was at my grandma's today and since my first thought upon hearing "Josh" is always Josh Dela Cruz (the current Blue's Clues host) I choked cause I thought he'd somehow stopped by.
  9. Thanks, I really needed that. And right now I'm feeling hopeful for reasons I can't disclose yet.
  10. The fear of leaving my apartment.
  11. Thinking about how good coffee will be this morning as well as trying to psych myself up to leave my apartment. Oh, and trying to narrow down some questions in case I really do win a contest I entered.
  12. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Nor do I feel like I'm truly living due to the pandemic and everything else that's going on. More than anything, I just want to not be so anxious all the time. I want to be able to leave my apartment without feeling like I'm going to catch the virus within seconds if I'm not wearing a mask and two pairs of gloves. In short, I want to be able to do things again and not feel so panicky in general. I have a support system, of course, but I don't want to burden any of them with my troubles cause they don't understand even though they try. And the one person who does understand lives really far away with a life of her own and I feel guilty for needing her so much. I just want to not be so forgettable cause everyone leaves eventually even when they swear they won't and I'm tired of it.
  13. Confused and slightly anxious. Like, there's so much I want to post but I'd probably put it in the wrong subforum or something, feel humiliated, and end up leaving.
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