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About Addydawn

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  1. I used to love showers. I would spend a long while in the water and my family would call me a fish. I found the water refreshing. Now, it takes monumental energy to want to shower. It feels like a chore akin to climbing Mt. Everest. Every little thing I have to do in the shower feels like too much and I just want it to be over. I never used to think twice about what I did in the shower and would do most of my creative thinking while showering. Every little thing feels like a task. There’s soaping up and then the time to rinse and then there’s the face scrub that I use and more rinsing. I am not quick in the shower. It would help if I was. I shower twice a week right now because I attend a day therapy program, so I have to stay relatively clean. I would love to shower every other day. I used to shower daily when I worked. My nephew told me two things that make sense. He said showering feels like climbing Mt. Everest when anxious and depressed. Showering is hard when I am not motivated to go anywhere or do anything. Work used to motivate me. It feels fruitless showering with no place to go. I used to take a med for ADD that gave me the energy and desire to shower, but I need the motivation naturally. I wash my bedding on days I need to shower because I won’t sleep with a dirty body in a clean bed. I also take music in the shower with me and it takes my mind off the chore aspect. I am not glad that other people are experiencing this, but I am glad that I am not alone and others understand.
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