I am so happy I found this forum. First of all, sorry for my poor English!
Tonight... I could not stand it anymore. I googled celeb obsession and found you. People who feel like me.
It started in 2011. I have to say I struggle with dystymia as long as I can think and I always had a crush on someone. But it was just a crush. This thing is different, a whole new level. The very first time I saw him sitting in that car in this series...it hit me. I felt it right away! He is not a Brad Pitt kind of guy, not at all, but his smile, his eyes, his voice, the way he moves, eats...just everything. I felt butterflies. Wow this felt good and confusing at the same time... I kept watching, the series was good tho. He got killed off, I started looking into his acting career. I wanted to watch more stuff of him and begged my husband to get me movies. His response „ you like that cocky a******?“ But he got me things to watch anyway.
One day I searched for him on twitter. I did not do twitter until this point tho. Found him! Official twitter of...... I messaged him. 30 minutes later...my heart stopped... he replied..just like that. Again a couple of minutes later I get a notification...... is following you on twitter. I freak out.
Till this day he likes my tweets every now and then. He retweets me every now and then. I even met him one time. No need to tell you how that felt! I even facebook called one time because I „know“ a friend of his and he was so crazy to ask me if I wanted to say hi to him. Of course I ****ing wanted! All I said was „oh my god I I love you“ he responded „I love you too sweetheart“ .... oh wow! Just wow!
Of course I know he does not love me. He has a family of his own.
But I am so obsessed. I feel sick about it. I can not sleep. I am weak. And the worst thing: I do not want to give up on that love. It fullfills me but destroys me at the same time. But it‘s in my head. It‘s in my heart. Every day. Every minute.
Thanks for reading. I hope all of you who struggle this can get on and leave this behind. I am not ready...yet