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Posts posted by Bulgakov

  1. 4 hours ago, Grace62 said:

    so I feel comfortable saying I am familiar with bipolar disorder

    Bipolar disorder is complicated collection of behaviors characterized by extreme highs and lows of emotional moods.  It juggles the delusional states of mania and depression, and  fosters the tragedies of both.

    Like you say, the Lisa you describe doesn't sound bipolar.  She is abrasive to all the people all the time, except the one's who've called her on it.  That's "bullying" behavior.  Bullies often want to be pals after people stand up to them. 

    It doesn't sound like your friend has been seen my a mental health professional.  A diagnosis would help hopefully.

    Best to you, Bulgakov


    Like you say,

  2. Just now, sober4life said:

    If you want to blow someone's mind go to their house and say I'm just here to see how you're doing.

    Lots of reasons for that today.  I would think that 100-150 years ago that would have been more normal.  Not just to express concern for example, but to visit, to say Hi, and socialize.  They had no radio, no tv, no Internet, so they had to interact with each other to communicate, to live long and prosper.

    Boy, I got sick Monday.  I don't get sick often.  I have a deteriorating jaw that causes me pain in creative ways, but I rarely get sick in the standard fashion.  I've had my flu and the currently recommended Covid trio shots.  It's the flu though, not anything that hasn't make me sick as ***t before.  They say Covid can start with flu-like symptoms.  But I know this illness like the back of my hand, and it's not Covid.  Puke, dry heaves, can't get around, and my body feels like it's been worked over by Pinhead.  I watch TV,  drowse off, and another movie altogether is on. 

    Medicos have always said the the flu vaccines were not 100%, that some strains won't be stopped.  Like Covid it's a mutating virus , even as a flu virus.  Flu can come on fast.  Two days ago I woke feeling a bit rough, and I got worse as the day wore on.  That night and yesterday were a slurry of bad movies.  I didn't even feel like using the remote to hunt for a less bad movie.

    Today I feel much better.  Things seem better.  The world seems not so dark.  Just being sick with a decent case of the flu fuels depression.

    No Flu to You,  Bulgakov


  3. Just now, John_in_SF said:

    Anxious with a large dose of ashamed. I kind of lashed out at someone last night and got them into trouble. Now I feel like I am the one in trouble. I am disappointed in myself.

    Hi John,

    Interesting post.  It sounds like you feel guilty for over reacting, and for getting someone in trouble by doing so.  That's just normal stuff, normal life.  The normal--healthy--reaction would be to remember your action and make an effort to do it less in the future, or apologize to the person you feel you've treated unfairly--even if you feel they won't take it right. 

    That's the healthy reaction.  The normal reaction, for DF and non DF members, is to turn your awareness off, and turn yourself inside out and upside down before considering changing your response, your behavior.  To me, you noticing that you might have gone overboard is the first step toward any kind of change.  Good job.


  4. In April of 2020 I bought my first kalimba.  I have four now, all tuned to different keys--C, A, B, and B flat.  Covid had just started and I wanted something to add to my daily life.

    Lots of people here go back and forth, needing people in their lives, and hating people--or saying so--in their lives.  For lots of reasons, I live the life posters here wish for sometimes, the life with, really, no friends or family.  I'm as friendly and easy going as you'll find, but I'm not looking for amigos.

    Point being, I have no distractions--people or fur--and enjoy playing something, by myself.  The kalimbas are perfect for the pandemic.  One has a solid plank body, so I bought a stick-on pickup and a small amplifier so you could hear it. 

    How much time though, have I spent?  How many hours have I entertained myself since April 2020.  I've played a couple of instruments in my life, but like everyone, I started with practicing scales on one kalimba.  The more you play, the more your brain makes connections between thumbs, notes, and melodies.  It's slow going at first.  I figure I've been at it for about 18months.  Except a few days sick, I've played every day anywhere from one to four hours.  I average at least two hours, thumbed out over the day.  

    So, averaging to 30 days in a month, times 18 equals 540 days of playing at average of two hours per day, and you get 1080 hours, call it 1000.  That's a thousand hours I didn't spend worrying about myself or others.  The playing takes "me" out of it, and that's the kind of "hobby" you need to help fight depression.  There are still the other twenty or so hours to deal with. 

    If I can remember the melody, I can pretty much play most of the songs I can think of now,  with a few minutes prep.  It only took a thousand hours.  I'm  eclectic in my tastes and lately have been playing "Mammy" by Al Jolsen, "He's Not A Rebel" by the Crystals, and "When I Paint My Masterpiece" played by The Band. 




  5. On 12/20/2021 at 2:33 PM, sober4life said:

    Yes Pfizer here.  They give the same kind every time here.  Sure I feel safer.

    I got two Pfizers, and recently requested and got a Moderna booster.  I usually try to follow the latest scientific scuttlebutt and one bit was that by mixing the booster--maybe the first two also--you might be providing added resistance to the vaccine/s.  Kind of like hybrid antigen effects.  I don't know if that's true.  The scientists announcing it are speculating a little maybe. 

    It was what I could snag from the news.   Arm a little sore for a day, otherwise no side effects.  So now I'm holding a double Moderna with a Pfizer booster, and a flu shot kicker.  The latest scientific scuttlebutt is that I may soon need--as a senior--that 2nd booster, or maybe some of the new Pfizer pills.  I may just put it on hold and wait for the Gummies vaccine delivery.




  6. Just now, sober4life said:

    I have a food plate and a dessert plate so I have 2 slices of ham and the rest of the plate is full of corn and mashed potatoes.  The other plate has 4 cookies, a piece of pumkin pie and cherry delight.

    That's home cooking to me also Sober.  Tonight I'm having three taquitos, broccoli, and half of an extra large russet potato, with cheese and butter melted on top.  Desert will be 3-4 strawberry newton cookies.  You just can't get meals like that if you dine out or take out. 


  7. NJ said:  "Just watched Nomadland again. It's growing on me."


    Haven't watched it, but want to.  I like Francis a lot.  Parts of it are reported to have been filmed in my old home in Quartzsite, AZ.  BLM lands and dry camping are close to town north and south.  The summer heat is unrelenting with 110 degree-plus days.  It's definitely full of nomads of all sorts though. 


  8. On 12/20/2021 at 1:02 PM, regina1 said:

    got let out because of covid

    Hi Regina,

    That's some rough stuff Regina, and I hope you find a little peace.  Our country, and I guess most, don't have adequate medical systems or paths for the disenfranchised.  The treatments you've received border on incarceration. 

    I was in jail once, over fifty years ago, for 60 days, county jail.  It was for disorderly conduct and the reasons are uninteresting.  One of my cell mates was a quiet young Mexican in for strong armed robbery.  He'd been having sharp abdominal pains, so he was taken to see a doc.  The doc said he had a kidney stone that needed treatment.  The next day after his visit, he was told he was getting set free.  Remember, this wasn't the Big House, just county jail.  He was told, indirectly, that the county didn't want to foot the bill and didn't want to be held responsible if no treatment was given.  He was free.  Reminds me of your story.  The current social upheaval worldwide is, in the sense of social equity, headed in the right direction.  But it won't really change until hearts change. 

    Congratulations on a year's sobriety!  I quit within recent years too.  That's an accomplishment.  Stick with it. 

    Best to you, Bulgakov

  9. "1 point until your next rank"

    I thought I was close to gold when I got to 1000 posts, but the number is 1100.  I'm not sure how to get a "point".  Posts are posts, points are reputation points I guess, and I'm not sure how that's calculated.  I hope this post gets me that point.  That's the point of this post.


  10. 2 hours ago, Mimen said:

    The crap is herring home at night I would read the news or watch a series. I can literally feel the Ritalin is worked out of my system as I battle to focus on the article or the series. 

    Hi Mimen,

    You've pretty much figured out the effect that generally called "speed" has.  Ritalin and Adderall are in the amphetamine family.  They aren't smart pills, they just grease all parts of your system, so it functions better, to a point.  Adderall, for example, is very close to what Johnny Cash took "black beauties."  His pills were a larger dose.  Since your dose is relatively small on the ritalin, you feel the increase in attention and abilities, and you feel that increase subside in four hours or so.  If you take enough ritalin or adderall over long enough time, your body will become addicted to it, and the more and more often you take it, the bigger the let down.  You have to moderate what you get from it, from what it will take as it leaves your system. 


  11. Just now, sober4life said:

    All we really need is one decent size room a shed with windows basically.

    Where I am there is a nearby shed and casita builder, Mr. Shed.  The sheds--8x10, but they come in lots of sizes---run about 3,000 to 5,000, but if you want it on a cement pad, that's extra, and you can have water and electric to them.  But, we have a housing code in this development, and you are not supposed to live in them.  If they get much above 8x10, there a local town rules about codes too.  A "casita" by the same builder, has room divisions, etc., and is in fact a small house that has to again conform to city building codes.  They cost anywhere from 30,000 up.  I plan to have a shed built in the next year I hope. 

    I looked all over the southwest U.S. for a spot like I found.  I didn't want to be cutoff, isolated in location, and I wanted to be out of the suck.  Most of the land advertised for small areas at a great rate lacks access to civilization, or no utilities.  Gas, water, and electric are important.  Living off the grid makes a good tv series, but doing it takes a lot of preparation if you've going to be comfortable.


  12. Just now, JD4010 said:

    've thought about it...as long as you have a plot of land and utility hookups ready to go, it would be great.

    It's what I looked for for a couple of year JD, while living in the RV park I was in.  My new spot is a purchased--partly financed-- lot, with utilities from the city.  This place is a 55-or-older community.  This is a different arrangement sort of.  Most here, of I think of maybe 150 or so spots, have their motor home or trailer on their lot, and either a shed, or a "casita."  Lots are big, and paved curving streets separate the dwellings.  I live in a small Jayco trailer, with a slideout, and it suits me.  I think prices for the lots--35 to 50 thousand in this cooler AZ valley--are still reasonable.  I know all the tiny alternatives are starting to go up in price. 


  13. I remember when recycling was cool.  I had an aluminum can crusher.  The recycling bins disappeared in the last place I lived--soon after Covid hit, and are not available in the new spot I've since moved into.  Grass roots ecology's been overshadowed by global concerns over weather and environment . . . maybe.    I don't know how recycling compares to the looming problems from global warming.  There's a lot less emphasis on it anyway.  Maybe it was just a romantic idea, that we might start to reclaim the Earth's health by keeping plastics out of the dump.   And recycling aluminum probably won't do much to keep the polar ice pack from melting too fast.  Still, I remember when recycling was cool, and if you recycled, you were doing something to turn the environment around.




  14. Wow, not a fan of sharing bad news, but amazingly bad break for the state of Kentucky last night.  Lots of people here have seen or been near tornadoes.  One struck Kentucky last night--several but apparently one big one.  The main one touched down and stayed on the ground for 225 miles according to the governor.  Normally, they just don't do that.  The tornado also made a path trough populated areas over those 200+ miles.  That sustained ground time is unbelievable.  Many casualties.


  15. On 11/12/2021 at 6:44 AM, hocico said:

    Police drama I watched the other day and the detective commented how the elderly are often ignored and the other guy pointed out that it's because the elderly confront us with the reality of what will happen to us all one day and it's an uncomfortable truth. 

    Hi Hocico,

    Interesting thought from the detective.  I don't believe people think that deeply or react that thoughtfully.  Not long ago I wasn't an old person, so I can still understand the thinking.  Old people are universally excluded, disregarded.  It's done because it can be done, and it puts seniors, i.e. "olds", in the position of a minority.  When you disregard a minority, for whatever reason, it makes it easier to make private and  public policy that favors those in power.  Unfortunately the power players have the general public on their side when it comes to leaving the elderly out of the mix.  

    I live in a development of owned RV and trailer lots now.  It's nice and kept up here, better than most average neighborhoods.  Many of the genuinely elderly I meet are fuzzy minded, just like in the jokes.  They never practiced thinking critically for most of their lives, and old age is no time to take it up.  Some of us are different.  That's the problem with stereotyping.

    I hear sideways remarks about seniors on this board from time to time.  We are the last segment of the population that are still fair game for put downs and wise cracks.  And yet, most of us still want to be one some day.  Go figure.


  16. I am grateful for sealed tops on food items that include a small tab to help me  peel away the thin wax paper seal,  without becoming upset.

    I would be grateful to any retail manufacturer/packager who uses hard plastic bubble packaging who would devise a safe and simple way for me to remove the protective bubble. 

    I'm grateful to any web designer who includes the password requirements in terms of length, case, etc. . . . before you're put in a password.


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